Pinoy Husband and Wife Jokes

Being married is a big responsibility. And with these responsibilities, we create stress and quarrels between husband and wife. We cannot escape the scenario where the husband and wife gets into a fight. They may sound funny sometimes because they tend to say things that they did for the sake of love. It is often that husband and wife also quarrel about the salary or who is going to pay the next bill. Check out these Pinoy Husband and Wife Jokes that will definitely make you relate if you have your husband or wife.

Mister: Nag beerhaus ako! Ang P200 binayad ko sa beer Misis: Bakit kulang ang sweldo mo ng isang libo?
Mister: Ang P800, binigay ko sa dancer kasi alang damit, awang awa ako!

**********   *

Si Mister umuwi ng lasing:
Misis: Naglasing ka nanaman!!! palagi na lang kapag lasing ka, naasar ako sa mukha mo!!!
Mister: Kung hindi naman ako umuwi ng lasing, ako naman ang maasar sa mukha mo!!!

**********   *

Home version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire:
Husband: dear puede ka ba ngayon?
Wife: di puede pagod ako!
Husband: is that final?
Wife: FINAL!!!!
Husband: ok, can i phone a friend?!?

Husband: ano ang pagkain natin?
Wife: nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
Husband: isang pirasong tuyo?ano pagpipilian ko?
Wife: pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!

**********   *

Wife: bat gabi ka na?
Husband: sensya na, nag aya mga officemates ko, nagkainuman lang...
Wife: Lasing ka no?!
Husband: Hindi!
Wife: anong hindi? Wala ka naman trabaho, pano ka nagkaron ng officemates?

Mag Asawang Bagong Kasal

Misis:Labs, may maganda akong balita sayo..malapit na tayo maging tatlo sa bahay na 'to..
Mister:Talaga, Labs?Wow. Ako na yata ang pinakamasayang tao sa mundo!
Misis: Buti naman at ganiyan ang nararamdaman mo.Dito na titira ang nanay ko!

**********   *

Daddy: Mommy, ang ganda ganda ng anak natin galing ata yan sa iyo ang angkin niyang kariktan!
Mommy: Huh!, paano nangyari iyun eh hindi naman ako ganun kaganda? (kilig kilig)
Daddy: yun na nga eh, wala ng natira sa iyo, nasa anak na natin lahat!

**********   *

Mister: Honey nakukunsyensya ako,dapat ko ng ipagtapat ito sa iyo.
Misis: Honey okay sa akin,mahal naman kita.
Mister: Honey alam mo,kapag nagseseks tayo,iba ang pinapantasya kong babae.
Misis: A ganon ba!???Eh honey ikaw naman ang nasa isip ko kapag kaseks ko ang ibang lalaki!!

**********   *

Meron Mag asawa nag- aaway:
Mister: mas ok pa yata kung nagpakasal ako sa demonyo!!!
Misis: wehhhh! bawal kaya magpakasal sa kamag- anak.. hehehe

**********   *

Isang gabing malamig.. kalabit c Mister kay Misis.
Misis.: not tonight dear, I have an appointment with my OB bukas, dyahi pag may sperm in me.
Mister. : Kalabit uli.... eh sa dentist may appointment ka?

If you have your own collection of Tagalog Jokes, feel free to share it in the comment box. You can also react and share these funny jokes at your social media acount. Stay updated to Pinoy Funny Jokes here at www.boybanat.com and Like our Facebook page  (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Pinoy School Jokes

Going to school can be very boring and you might get uninterested just by thinking about it. Learning is not that always fun enough to get you motivated. But try checking out these Pinoy School Jokes that will definitely lighten up the mood in the context of going to school. These will give you the cracks and the humour that you need to shy away those dull moments. You can relate some of the situations here on what is going around your school. You can share these to your classmates or peers so that you can laugh together with these jokes. 

Titser: Ano ang Pambansang Hayop ng Pilipinas? Nagsisimula ito sa letrang "K"!
Juan: Kabayo?
Titser: Mali! Nagtatapos ito sa letrang "W"!
Juan: Kabayow?
Titser: Mali! May 2 sungay ito!
Juan: demonyong kabayow? Hahahah

                                                             *       *        *        *         *

Teacher: Write a sentence ending with HAND.
Juan: My penis in ur hand!
Teacher slapped juan…
Juan: Sorry I forgot to put space between pen and is…^_^

*       *        *        *         *

Teacher: Juan, ba’t lagi mong nilalawayan ang ulo mo tuwing may klase tayo?
Juan: Narinig ko po kasi, sabi ni ate sa boyfriend niya, basain ng laway ang ulo ‘pag ayaw pumasok.

*       *        *        *         *

Mayabang si Pedro
Teacher: Ito na ang resulta ng exam nyo. Si Boy Banat lang nakakuha ng 97%.
Pedro: Ano ha?! Kaya nyo yon?! Wala pang aral yon! Sinasayang nyo lang tuition nyo! Umuwi na kayo mga bubu!!
Teacher: The rest, nakakuha ng 100% !!  hahahahaha

*       *        *        *         *

sa isang Math class..

Teacher: Pedro, kung ako'y may 5 anak sa unang asawa, 10 naman sa pangalawa, at 3 sa pangatlo; meron akong?
Pedro: Kalandian! Isa kang karengkeng Ma'am.

*       *        *        *         *

Teacher asks her pupils what they want to be in the future...
Kiko: I want to be a lawyer
Juan: I want to be a doctor
Nene: I want to be a mother
Pedro: I want to help Nene

*       *        *        *         *

Guro: Pedro, Totoo bang hindi naninigarilyo, di umiinom. di nagsusugal at di  nangchichicks ang papa mo?
Pedrol: Opo!
Pedro: Wow! Anong sikreto nya?
Pedro: walang pera

Teacher: who can make a sentence then translate it in tagalog?
Pupil: my titser is beautiful, isn't she?
Teacher:: very good, translate it in tagalog.
Pupil: ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?

*       *        *        *         *

HRM at NURSING Student nag-uusap:
HRM:Penge nga alcohol!!
NURSE:La akong alcohol eh.. sori
HRM:Naturingan kang nursing student, la kang alcohol!
NURSE:Cge nga.pengeng kaldero at sandok!Now n!May dala kb?!

*       *        *        *         *

"The prefix "BI" is used to describe things that come in two's like BIcycle, BIfocal,
and BInary.
Can you give me an example Juan?"
JUAN: (lunok) "Ma'am.. B*YAG?"

These are jokes that can give us humour, fun and enjoyment but we still have to remember that they are still jokes. Some may get hurt or be 'corny' about it, but regardless about these queries, just enjoy browsing and sharing these Pinoy School Jokes to others by visiting frequently www.boybanat.com and other social media partners:

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Pinoy Green Jokes and Tagalog Green Jokes

Here's a collection of Pinoy Green Jokes and Tagalog Green Jokes.  If your have your own favorite  Pinoy Green Jokes and Tagalog Green Jokes, we would love to hear it, add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pinoy green. Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!

Kanto Tinio Street

Juan:Bakit natatakot ang mga babae na bumaba sa Kanto Tinio St sa San Pablo, Laguna?
Pedro: kasi tuwing bababa ang mga girls ohh yung bababa, kanto tinio na nyahaha

**********   *

Eye check

Ben : Doktora, malabo na yata ang mga mata ko.
Doktora : Tingnan mo ang legs ko.
Ben : Wala pa rin ho.
Doktora : Tingnan mo ang panty ko.
Ben : Wala pa rin ho.
Doktora : Loko! Bakit bumubukol ang pantalon mo!? hahahahahaha

**********   *

Isang araw merong pok-pok (prosti). Tinawag ng costumer at pumasok sa kotse ng costumer na ilang beses nya na nakasex.

Prosti: Oh ano gusto mo gawin ko nanaman!?!
Costumer: Ano pa eh di yan trabaho mo!!!
Prosti: Hindi naman yun ang gusto mo eh na kikita ko sa mga mata mo! sabihin mo na ang totoo!!!

Lindol

Titser: ano ang dapat gawin kapag lumindol??
Pedro: buksan po ang ilaw!!!
Titser: Bakit?
Pedtro: kasi po sa kubo namin madalas lumindol pag gabi… pero kapag sinindihan ko na ang ilaw biglang tumitigil.

**********   *
Kararating lang ng mister galing sa trabaho…Init na init at binuksan ang mga bintana sabay hubad.
Ano ka ba naman sabi ng misis… baka makita ka ng mga kapitbahay natin iisipin nilang pera lang ang habol ko sayo.

basag si Mister heheheh

**********   *

Juan: …lang kwenta yang kwento mo pare… Ito pakinggan mo. Nakasakay ako sa bus bandang likuran kaninang umaga. Ang tindi siguro ng pag mamahalan nong dalawa. Naglalambingan ,naghahalikan, at kung ano ano pa ang pinagagawa .maya-maya di na nakatiis yong babae inilabas yung suso at sinuso naman nong lalaki.

Pedro:  Wow !.. Matindi nga .
Juan:Matindi talaga! Ang babata pa naman.
Pedro: Mga ilang taon pare?
Juan: “Yong babae… mga 18 years old siguro.
Pero yong lalaki mas bata … siguro mga mag dadalawang taon..
Dumi kasi isip nyo… nayahahah

Masasakit na marinig sa isang babae pag nakaharap sa isang nakahubad na lalake:

1. Mas malalaking tabako ang sinigarilyo ko kesa diyan.

2. Ahhh, ang cute naman.

3. Ano kaya, magyakapan na lang tayo.

4. Nagkunsulta ka na ba sa isang plastic surgeon?

5. Pasayawin mo naman o…

6. Wow, ang laki pa naman ng paa mo.

7. Oh no… biglang sumakit ang ulo ko.

8. Ngayon alam ko na kung bakit napakaganda ng kotse mo.

9. Ano kaya, pag dinilig natin, lalaki yan?

10. Giniginaw ka ba?

If you have you own Pinoy Green Jokes and Tagalog Green Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be delighted to have them featured here at www.boybanat.com. Let us inspire more readers. For more reads and updates, you can also visit and Like our Facebook Page (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

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Vice Ganda Funny Jokes

Catch the Vice Ganda Funny Jokes by one of the well-known and one of the funniest comedian in the world of Phillippine Showbiz - Vice Ganda. Here's a collection of Vice Ganda Funny Jokes. If your have your own favorite  Vice Ganda Funny Jokes , we would love to hear it, add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: vice ganda. Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!

Vice Ganda sa Opisina

Vice Ganda: Pasok mo nga dito yung mga papeles ko..
Secretary: Sir saan ko ipapasok , dito sa loob"?
Vice: Hinde sa labas, ipasok nga diba.pwede bang ipasok sa labas, sige nga subukang mong ipasok doon sa labas

ito pa isa:

Kararating lang sa opisina
Secretary: Hi. good morning po Sir nandito na po pala kayo.
Vice: Hinde wala pa, picture ko lang toh, hindi pa ako to.

Reporter: Pagkatapos ng nose to nose ano naman pauusuhin mo?
Vice Ganda: Habulan saksak..ikaw uunahin ko...Keri? Joke :)

Reporter: Anong course mo nung college?
Vice Ganda Ganda: Automotive Major in Troubleshooting

Reporter: Ano ang ginagawa mo pag Sunday?
Vice Ganda: Nag aantay ng MONDAY...

Vice Ganda Holdap

Holdaper: Holdap to!
Vice Ganda: And so? Walang nagtatanong.
Holdaper: SABI NG HOLDAP TO!
Vice Ganda: so dapat pinagsisigawan?
Holdaper: Holdap nga to!! Holdap! Holdap!
Vice Ganda: Paulit-ulit? Unli tayo?
Holdaper: di ka tatahimik papatayin kita!
Vice Ganda: ano to, kalokohan? Akala ko holdap tapos patayan na? Ano to, 2 in 1?
Special o regular?
Holdaper: Bahlaa ka, Aalis na lang ako!
Vice Ganda: Ay ganun? Walk out? Di pa tayo tapos! Bumalik ka dito!

************   *

Vice Ganda in Restaurant

Vice papuntang Fastfood
Vice: (Umupo)
Waiter: Gud afternun po! Kakain po kayo?
Vice: Hindi, magluluto, tutulungan ko chef nyo.. Kakahiya naman nakiupo ako dito tapos hindi pa ko tutulong.. Bilis na.. Gusto mo tulungan pa kita sa mga customers nyo.. Tapos aasenso business nyo.. Edi masaya, di ba? Umunlad na kayo, nagutom pa ko.. Ang galing noh?

************   *

Patay Tatay

Vice Ganda: umiiyak sa harap ng kabao ng tatay
dumating si bestfriend, hinimas-himas yung likod ni vice bestfiend: uy, okey ka lang?
Vice Ganda: ikaw loka ka, patayin ko tatay mo? okey ka lang!!!!
Vice Ganda: loka ka tatay ko nasa kabao, tapos tatanungin mo ko kung okey ka lang!!!

************   *

Vice Ganda Jeep Trip

Binaba siya sa gitna
Vice mabundol ng isa pang jeep…
Manong2: Nasaktan ka ba?
Vice Ganda: (naasar) Ay hindi, nag-enjoy ako. Ulitin natin, bunguin mo pa. Isa pa! Dali! Ang sarap kasi! Nakabundol ka tapos itatanong mo kung masakit? Ikaw kaya bundulin ko? Tapos i-share mo skin feelings mo, kaya na-enjoy mo, sige magbungguan tayo. Laruin natin, ipauso natin, bunggu-bungguan.

************   *

Vice Ganda sa Park

Vice Ganda nakaupo sa park.. Walang nakaupo sa ibang upuan..
Manong: Pwede po bang umupo dito?
Vice Ganda: Hindi, tinatalunan yan.. Nakikita mo di ba, ang daming nakaupo.. Mamaya tatalunan ko yan.. Tapos sabay nating gagawin.. Sama na rin natin yung mga dumadaan.. Para mukha tayong mga baliw lahat.. Bilis na, simulan mo na..Maya-maya lang susunod ako.

************   *

Vice Ganda with Fan
Fan: Siguro ang yaman yaman mo na
Vice Ganda: Sana madilang anghel ka....

Fan: Ano gamit mo papunta sa CEBU?
Vice: ROLLER BLADES

Fan: Ang layo ng Pangasinan sa CEBU
Vice Ganda: Ang layo din ng IQ mo sayo lapitan mo siya dali

Fan: Kaya mong magroller blades papuntang Pangasinan?
Vice Ganda: Backride lang ako..Joke Jokes Jokes

If you have you own Vice Ganda Funny Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For more reads, just log on to www.boybanat.com or visit Boy Banat Official Facebook  (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat) Page for the latest features.

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Pinoy Sad Love Quotes and Sad Love Messages

Here's collection of pinoy sad love quotes and sad love messages that you can share to your friends and special someone, just copy and paste it in your Facebook wall or in your Twitter. If your have your own Pinoy Sad Love Quotes and Sad Love Quotes, we would love to hear it or just email it to us with a subject: Pinoy Sad. Enjoy!

Kahit masakit, pinilit kitang kalimutan..
Kahit masakit, pinilit kong wag umiyak…
Kahit masakit, pinilit kong wag magtiis…
Pero kahit anong gawin ko,
Kaw parin ang mahal ko eh
Kahit MASAKIT!”

********   *

Ayaw ng mga tao sayo para sa ‘kin
Sabi ko paki ba nila! Mahal mo naman ako…
Ayoko sanang maniwala sa kanila na niloloko mo lang ako…
Pero pinatunayan mo..
Iniharam mo siya sa kin!!!

********   *

Sabi mo gusto mo ako,
Sabi mo konting panahon na lang
Magkakasama na tayo,
Sabi mo iiwan mo na sya..
Sabi mo intayin kita,
Sabi mo mas mahal mo ako,
Bakit ngayon asan ka na?
Bakit kapiling ka parin nya.

********   *

Nasaktan ka ba ng malaman mong may mahal na akong iba??
Pasensya na ha.. ayoko na kasing umasa…
Pagod na rin akong maghintay…
Pero makakatulong ba kung sabihin kong
Handa ko siyang iwan para sayo.

********   *

Sabi nila tanga ako, sabi nila bobo ako,
Lahat na sinabi nila pero makit mahal parin kita?
Sabi ko… kala ko kase may pag-asa, wala pala!
Nasaktan tuloy ako!

Even if someone already owns your heart,
I don’t give a damn!
Though the pain is killing me,
I won’t care at all
I won’t steal you from her but
I’ll tell her…
“mahalin mo sya para sa akin ha…”


Noon sabi mo, hindi kita iiwan.
Magkasama tayo kahit na anong laban…
ipagtatangol, poprotektahan… naniwala naman ako…
nasiyahan… yun pala hindi na natin kailangan ng laban….
Dumating lang siya… alam ko na kung sinong talunan

***********   *

Sabi ko “mahal na mahal kita”
Sabi mo “alam ko na yun”
Tanong ko “ako ba mahal mo?”
Sagot mo “oo naman higit pa sa buhay ko”
Napaluha ako sa tuwa tapos sabi mo…
“O, wag na iyak bestfriend ko”

***********   *

Minsan, hirap din pala magpahalaga sa isang tao..
Yun tipong lagi ka andyan para sa kanya,
Kasama sa gitna ng giyera, karamay sa problema..
Tapos isang araw, magigising ka na lang…
Iniwan ka rin pala!!!

Aalis ako kasi may iba kang gusto..
Aalis ako kasi alam kong mahal mo sya at mahal ka rin nya…
Aalis na lang ako ha!
Kasi sa tingin ko, Masaya ka na…
Pero babalik din ako…
Pag iniwan ka nya..

***********   *

There are times in my life that
I just want to give up and let lose
But have you ever thought why?
I’m still here fighting against depression..?
Kase andyan ka e….
Wag mo ko iiwan ha.. Bibigay ako

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I Love You Quotes and Sayings

Having a special someone makes your life have its own purpose, and that is to say to those people how much you value and love them. Everyone knows its very hard for us to say what we feel because of nervousness and other factors that affect our feelings. Sometimes words are not enough to express what you feel but they will still help you in making those people realize how much you love them. These will also help you in thinking about what love really is. Here are some I Love You Quotes and Sayings that will help you in saying what you really feel about your love ones.

Saying “I love you” to a person it means you are committing yourself to that particular person, so don’t say if you don’t mean it.

*       *        *        *         *

“Relationship starts with “can we talk?”And it ends with “we need to talk!”

*       *        *        *         *

“I don’t need a perfect one.
I just need someone who can make me feel that I’m the only one.”

*       *        *        *         *

“If someone wants to be part of your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it.
So don’t bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay.”

*       *        *        *         *

“You keep running after the people who care less about you.
Why don’t you stop? Turn around and see the one’s running behind?”

“If they don’t know how to value you, let them go. It’s much better to lose them,
than to feel stupid being with them.”

                                                             *       *        *        *         *

“The person who really loves you sees what a mess you can be,
how moody you can get and how hard you are to handle but still wants you in his life.”


“I don’t wish to be the every thing of everyone,
but I would like to be the only one of my special someone…”

*       *        *        *         *

“Saying “I MISS YOU” means the same with “I LOVE YOU”
Coz logical speaking: Missing someone would not probably exist without love.”

*       *        *        *         *

“You can always choose who to care for, to protect to and share your life with.
But you can never choose who to fall in love with, because love is not a choice…”

*       *        *        *         *

“I’m afraid to give meanings when someone treats me special…
because I might do something stupid things like FALLING in LOVE.”

*       *        *        *         *

“Love is spoken not by the tongue, but by the heart.
Andheart not by the ears but by the souls.”

*       *        *        *         *

"Don’t let doubts lost the magic of love, because it’s not everyday you meet someone who has the magic to let you fall in love."

*       *        *        *         *

“If the heart is willing, it will find a thousand ways.
But when it unwilling, it will find a thousand excuses.”

*       *        *        *         *

“There is no one in this world who can love me like you do,
that is the reason that I wanna spend forever with you.”

*       *        *        *         *

I'm STILL
Tangled up in
YOU
Basta walang iwanan ha!
Mag Asawang Bagong Kasal

*       *        *        *         *

“You can crop me out of the pictures we can talk together,
but you can never crop me out of the memories we shared.”

*       *        *        *         *

“If you love someone, be a warrior, fight for it!
But, if someone loves somebody else be a shoulder, give
him\her a comfort…”

*       *        *        *         *

“When a person is really into you,
he\she always find a way to have time for you with no freaking excuses.”

*       *        *        *         *

A girl may not be the queen to her boyfriend or husband
but she will always be a princess to her DAD.

*       *        *        *         *

“Don’t force yourself to forget the person you love.
Never use other people just to forget him/her because you don’t know how it hurt for the person especially when he’s\she’s already in love with you.”

Loving is not just a simple thing, it is a vast collection of the feelings that you have garnered in the process of knowing that person. If you have more I Love You Quotes and Sayings that you can share, don't hesitate to comment. And please like our Facebook page www.fb.com/akosiboybanat and stay updated here at www.boybanat.com.