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Funniest Green Jokes That Will Keep You Imagining

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Some creative minds had just coined a lot of green jokes that are always funny. Most of them are hilarious and can really make you laugh out loud. From the thermometer joke up to difference between a snowmen and snowwomen, all of those can ease your bad day. These are mostly simple one-liners that can make you think twice before you get it right and secretly, some of these jests can turn you on. Ooops! Don't worry, you’re not the only one.

So if you're bored or looking for something to make your day, then this read is for you. We have collected some of the Funniest Green Jokes That Will Keep You Imagining.

Q: How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A: By the taste


Q: How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper!


Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.



Q: Why will a woman never be the one to propose?
A: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.


Q: Whats long, hard and full of seamen?
A: A submarine


Q: Who was the world’s first carpenter?
A: Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand


Q: Why didn't the Toilet Paper cross the road?
A: It got stuck in a crack


Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
A: Good morning ladies.


Q: What does a woman put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
A: Her ankles.


Q: What do girls and noodles have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them


Q: What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
A: She gagged


Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.


Q: Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children?
A: Because he only comes once a year, and it's down your chimney.


Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.


Q: What is 72?
A: 69 with three people watching


Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.


Q: What does in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?
A: Chewing gum


We know what you're thinking. And you get it right. Well, the doctor is also doing it right. Do you think the Doc is lucky enough? We think so.


Q: What's green and smells like pork?
A: Kermit the frog's finger


Q: What do you call two fat people talking?
A: A heavy discussion


Q: What three words will ruin a man's ego?
A: "Is it in?"


Q: What did the letter O say to Q?
A: Dude, your junk is hanging out.


Q: What's the worst thing about dating a blonde?
A: If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they.


Q: Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
A: Because Ken came in another box


Q: Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?
A: Because he wanted to find a tight seal


Q: What do you call an expert fisherman?
A: A Master Baiter


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Happy Birthday Quotes and Heartfelt Birthday Messages

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It's only once a year. A very special date to remember the moment a person was born. An unforgettable day when parents happily welcomed us after months of waiting. People have different ways of celebrating their birthdays; from throwing a party, dinner date with friends, go for shopping or just having a vacation. Sometimes, we don't just celebrate our birthdays for one day especially when we have a lot of friends and relatives to treat. This may mean you a lot of money to spend but the best part is your happy for another year of your life.

One of the most common way of greetings is sending a birthday message. It's still the best way to somebody know that you care and you never forget his/her special day. If your looking for messages and ideas, we have here Happy Birthday Quotes and Heartfelt Birthday Messages that you can give to a close friend or relative who will be celebrating their birthdays :

My birthday wish for you is that you continue to love life and never stop dreaming. May beauty and happiness surround you, not only on your special day, but always.

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Count the age, not the wrinkles you have.
Count the blessings and wonderful experiences you’ve had,
not the mistakes you’ve made.


We all wish our loved ones not just happiness but also a joyfulness on their special day and on the years to come. We also pray for their success and good health and more blessings to received.

My best friend deserves the best birthday in the world, and my goal is to give it to you. Happy Birthday, and get ready to celebrate! The party starts as soon as we’re together.

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Today, on your birthday, I wish you the warmest love and happiness. May all of your dreams become a reality. But even more than that, may it bring you loads of true love and friendship. Have an Amazing Birthday!

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Because, today is a special day simply sending birthday wishes, wouldn’t do. So I’m sending you a day when all your dreams come true and, a year that means the most to you!

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