Tagalog / Pinoy Funny Call Center Jokes

Here's a collection funny and humor Tagalog / Pinoy Funny Call Center Jokes which features conversation of a call center agent and a customer. These are for entertainment and fun only and no offense meant to our fellow call center agents.  If you have your own favorite Pinoy /  Tagalog Funny Call Center Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: call center, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Bill
Customer(bisaya): hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???...
CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Customer: Hende naman...
CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Customer: Ang alen?
CS: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Customer: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CS: Di ba wala pong ring?
Customer: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!...
CS: aahhh... yung BILL?!!!
(hende kase nagve-verefie mabote...hahaha)

Check out this Funny Call Center Agent Conversation video

3 Minutes
CS: I w! as hoping you can take this survey with me...Would you have the time to do that, sir?
Contact: How long is this gonna to take?
CS: Mmm.. MGA three minutes....
(Wapak!..napatagalog eh hahahah)

**********   *

Nagulat
Agent was asking the customer about the cost of his cable service:
Agent: Let me just ask you.... How much are paying with your current provider right now?
Customer: Well, I'm only paying $25.00 (--which is way cheaper than what the agent was offering)
Agent: (Surprised) MAGKANO??!!
(Napa-Tagalog eh ahahah)

**********   *

Cat

TSR: It's C as in CAT.
CUST: what?
TSR: C as in CAT. C-A-T... me0w me0w...
(ayuz! very specific na yan ha baka hindi m0 pa magets...)!

**********   *

Slang English
ethernet cord connected???...
Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with alabama accent)
TS: Yung yellow cord, mheem...
(oh-oow ngee nehmeeennn..)

**********   *

Candy
CS: Thank you for calling... this is Candy, how may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it's Candy...
Cust: Sorry, can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir... Candy... as in Storck!!!
(Sana Cotton Candy na sinabi mo teh.. hahahah...)

**********   *

Bing Bong
Agent verifying info from customer:
Agent: Is that a P for..... (thinking)... Ping-Pong?
Customer: No, it's B.
Agent: Oh, B, like BING-BONG.

**********   *

May Masisi lang
CS Agent: Thanks for calling Dell this is Mary how can I help you?
Caller(irate): I hate Dell! You should stop producing Vista! Vista SUCKS!!!
CS Agent: I do understand where you are coming from, but you see maam Microsoft is the company the created Vista not Dell.
Caller: .... oh (Hangs up)
(May masisi lang...Pahiya ng onti, walang bawe.. Hahaha!..)

**********   *

Spoiled Brat Kid
CS: Thank you for calling .........my name is .........how can I help you?
Caller: My daughter purchase tickets using my CC I want a refund.
CS: I apologize for that inconvenience but all sales are final no refunds or exchanges.
Caller: Well she is a spoil Brat uncontrollable kid what can we do about that?
CS: Im sorry ma'm but I'm afraid I can't help you with that maybe you can try a Juvenile Correctional Facility.HANG UP.
(Hahaha..UU nga bakit hindi mo Itali anak mo teh hahah)

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Tagalog Jeepney Jokes

Tagalog Jeepney Jokes is a collection of jokes about jeepney drivers and passengers that we usually see on our day to day living. Jeepneys or public utility jeepney (PUJ) or simply jeep is the common and the cheapest means of transportation here in the Philippines and probably most of us have experienced the ride. If not then maybe your a rich kid or you've got the money to a more convenient ride. There's so many situations that we encounter whenever we ride a jeep and these can be wonderful or something bad that eventually become part of our daily struggle on the road. The best part of it is that you'll able to see different kind of people who will either make you smile or annoy you.

But in this selection you will probably relate and drive you to quick memory of an experience you had while riding a jeep. Read through these Tagalog Jeepney Jokes to start up your day and know more about the kind of passengers that you can get along with.

MEDYO HIGH BLOOD
Drayber: San ang baba?
Pasahero: Sa gitna ng kalsada. Para patay ako tapos kulong kayo.

*     *     *     *     *

MEDYO EMO
Drayber: Ilan dito sa 20?
Pasahero: Isa lang. Wag niyo na din sanang itanong kung bakit. Sanay na ako na palaging iniiwan. Kaya nasanay na rin akong mag-isa. Keep the change.

Pinoy Father and Son Jokes

The bond between a father and son is irreplaceable. There are moments that you can relate to, especially those humorous ones. As Filipinos, we tend to joke a lot because this is our nature, being funny and happy. Here are some of Pinoy Father and Son Jokes that I bet you'll enjoy. You can laugh and relate to these funny moments. Send them to your son or father so you can enjoy it both.

Ang Tatay at ang anak na Bading
Tatay: Bading ka ba?
Anak: Opo, dadi
Tatay: (Dinuldol sa harina c jr). Ano?! Bading ka pa ba?!
Anak: Hindi na po.
Tatay: Eh anon a?
Anak: Geisha na po! (Ang taray!)

**********   *

May Ama galit na galit nang malamang bading ang kaniyang anak, inihiagis niya sa Swimming Pool...
Tatay: Ngayon anak, lalaki ka na ba?
Anak: Hindi po.... Sirena na po!
Nagalit ang Ama, inihigas naman ang anak sa harina...
Tatay: Ngayon anak, lalaki ka na ba?
Anak: Hindi po.... GEISHA na po!
Sa sobrang galit ng AMA, inihagis ang anak sa Uling....
Tatay: Uulitin ko, lalaki ka na ba?
Anak: Hindi po... Ako na si....
BEYONCE!!!! "All single ladies.... put your ring on it"

**********   *

Tatay: Anak, painumin mo na ang kalabaw!
Anak: Opo itay!
( Pagkalipas ng ilang saglit! )
Anak: Tay, ayaw po uminom ng kalabaw!
Tatay: Bakit? Saan mo ba nilagay yung tubig?
Anak: Sa baso po!
Tatay: Dapat nilagyan mo pa ng straw! Para masulit ang katangahan mong h@yop ka! hahahaha
Tatay: Anak, ibili mo nga ako ng softdrink
Anak:  Coke o Pepsi?
Tatay: Coke
Anak:  Diet o Regular?
Tatay: regular
Anak:  Bote o in can?
Tatay:  Bote
Anak:  8 oz o litro?
Tatay:  Bwiset, tubig na nga lang.
Anak:  Mineral o distilled?
Tatay: Mineral.
Anak:  Malamig o hindi?
Tatay: Hahampasin na kita ng walis eh!
Anak: Tambo o tingting?
Tatay: Hayop ka!
Anak: Baka o kambing?

Anak: Itay, masama ang pakiramdam ko.
Tatay: Aba, mataas ang lagnat mo! Patitingnan kita sa doktor.
Anak: Itay, nakatatamad. Kung titingnan lang niya ako… ipadala n’yo na lang ang litrato ko.

**********   *

Naglalakad ang mag-ama, nakakita ng eroplano
Anak: Tay! Krus! Ang laking krus!
Tatay (Binatukan ang anak): Nakita mo ng krus eh!
.....Lumuhod tayo!"

**********   *

Anak: tay, may manok sa kusina. Tinutuka ang bigas mo.
Tatay: paalisin mo!
Anak: oi, alis ka daw! ayaw umalis eh
Tatay: takutin mo!
Anak: awoooooo manooook!! May mumu diyan!

**********   *

Anak: Tay nagtumbling ako sa skul
Tatay: I told you wag kang magtutumbling, makikita panti mo.
Anak: Hindi nakita inilagay ko sa bag ko.

**********   *

Anak: Itay, ano sa english ang utot?
Tay: Wind of change
Anak: Eh ang utot na walang tunog?
Tay: Edi sound of silence
Anak: Ano ang utot na may dalang tae?
Tay: Dust in the wind
Anak: Eh ang di po sinasadyang utot?
Tay: Ahh..yan ang careless whisper

Jokes make our day a little brighter. As Filipinos we always find time in making jokes and creating funny moments. I know that you have your own Father and Son jokes. Share your thoughts in the comment box and stay tuned for more Pinoy Jokes at www.boybanat.com and in our social media partners:

Bekimon Funny Jokes and Bading na Banat

We've already featured wide collections of funny jokes, conversation, quotes and banat with Boy Banat, Girl Banat and more from different stereotypes. Pick your most favorite Bekimon Funny Jokes and Bading na Banat here and share it with your gay friends out there.  Now, here's another compilation of some of the funniest and naughtiest jokes and banat of our beloved beki's. Enjoy reading!

Boy Banat: miss para kang chicharon

Girl Banat: bakit?

Boy Banat: ang sarap mong papakin!

(Bakla umepal)

Bakla: ako rin parang chicharon!

Boy Banat: oo. Bwiset! nakaka-high blood ka!

****************************

Holdapan. (Beki version)

Pulis1: Hoy chakadal! Nandito na si Darna! Sumuko na jokaw! Super surroundings ka na namin teh!

Holdaper: Wiiit! Keribels ko kayo teh! Jokoy pa! Tumbang preso yan si Darna sa jokin! Wa itas bag!

Pulis1: Ay mataray na echuserang froglet ka ha! Mga baklitas! Sugod na jutams!

Pulis2: Narinig niyo si Mother Earth! Gora na mga sisteret! Shuplak!

Pacman Funny Jokes

As I've watched the epic trilogy of Manny Pacquiao against with Juan Manuel "El Dinamita" Marquez and the epic match with Floyd Mayweather. I realized that is the best chance for me to collect and list a Pacquiao Jokes that should be shared to my fellow "Kababayan". Hope you'll like it!

If your have your own Pacman or Pacquiao Jokes, we would love to hear it or just email it to us with a subject: pacman jokes. This is for entertainment purposes only and does not intend to offend anyone.

Freddie and Manny had heart to heart talk
Pacman: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang napupusuan?
Freddie: Meron... Manhid ka lang!

*      *      *      *      *

Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang  egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!

*      *      *      *      *

Anak ni Pacman: Tay! Penge P20, bibili ako ng de lata.
Pacquiao: Anak, mga taga bukid lang ang gumagamit ng term na de lata! Englisin mo yan!
Anak ni Pacquiao: Paano?
Pacquiao: KANG GUDS!

Isang araw pakatapos kumuha ng exam kasama ng best friend

nya na si Boboy:

Manny: kamusta yung exam mo.

Boboy: Wala ako nasagutan, blanko yung papel ko. Ikaw?

Manny: Naku, blangko din yung papel ko. Lagot, baka sabihin ni titser nagkopyahan tayo.

*      *      *      *      *

Nung bata daw si Pacquiao nakipag-away daw ito sa iskul...

Boy: Bakit mo ako sinuntok?

Manny: E, tinawag mo akong chempanzi!

Boy: Last year pa yon! Abnoy!

Manny: Eh kanina ko lang nakita ang pecture ng chempanzi, Eng Eng ka Pla eh!

*      *      *      *      *

Reporter: Ngayong nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?

Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.

Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?

Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know...

*      *      *      *      *

Pacman: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets.

Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasaan ang sweets honey?

Pacman: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita... ang dilim!!

*      *      *      *      *

Si Manny habang inimbita ni PNOY sa isang Hapunan...

PNOY:"I`ll have Swiss Steak and French Fries", nag order si PNOY sa waiter.

Waiter: And you, Sir?

Manny: The same, Give me sweepstake and first prize, too

*      *      *      *      *

Sabi ng isang Amerikano:

"Manny has a lot of American fans. but the Americans have a hard time cheering for Manny Pacquiao. They cannot shout his name because it will sound: "Manny *** Yow!"

If you have you own Funny Pacman Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be delighted to have them featured here at www.boybanat.com. Let us inspire more readers. For more reads and updates, you can also visit and Like our Facebook Page (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Hindi ba Puede Quotes and "Di Ba Pwede" Pick Up Lines Banat

Looking for "Hindi ba Puede"? Quotes and "Di Ba Puwede" Pick Up Lines Banat, which is also called "Agad Muna" Jokes.  Check this out as we give the best "Hindi ba Puede"? Quotes and "Di Ba Puwede" Pick Up Lines Banat.  It's popularized in the movie Vice Ganda's Praybeyt Benjamin in famous pick up lines "Pag bakla ba salot na agad? Di ba pwedeng malas muna?!" and became a trending in social networks and followed viral in text messages and SMS.  If you have your own favorite "Hindi ba Puede"? Quotes and "Di Ba Puwede" Pick Up Lines Banat, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: di ba puede pickup, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Pag walang kibo, behaved na agad?...
Di ba pwedeng comatose muna?!

********   *

Pag ba makulimlim ulap agad?...
Di ba pwedeng kilikili muna?!

********   *

Pag nagsusuka, buntis agad?
Di ba pwedeng nakita ka lang muna?...

********   *

Pag adik, sa drugs na agad?...
Di ba pwedeng sa'yo muna?!

********   *

Pag kinikilig, in love agad?...
Di ba pwedeng naiihi muna?!

********   *

Pag mahaba ang hair ligawin na agad?...
Di ba pwedeng Sadako muna?!

Pag mahaba ang mga biyas supermodel na agad?
Di ba pwedeng lastikman muna?!

********   *

Pag maputi ang lalaki Edward Cullen na agad?...
Di ba pwedeng Casper muna?!

********   *

Pag bakla ba salot na agad?...
Di ba pwedeng malas muna?!

********   *

Pag payat ang babae model na agad?...
Di ba pwedeng may TB muna?!

********   *

Pag hot yung babae sexy na agad?...
Di ba pwedeng may dengue muna?!

********   *
Pag nagpapautang, Bumbay agad?...
Di ba pwede Cebuana Lhuillier muna?!

********   *

Pag malaki boobs Ethel agad?...
Di ba pwedeng Carlos Agassi muna?!

********   *

Pag nagbigay ng bulaklak nanliligaw na?
Di ba pwedeng nakikiramay muna?!

If you have you own Hindi ba Puede Quotes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

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Pinoy Comedy Banat and Komeding Banat Jokes

Here's a extensive collection of best, funniest and latest Pinoy Comedy Jokes and Komeding Banat Jokes, made just for you and to share with.  If you have your own favorite Komeding Banat Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: comedy banat, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Kapag tumulo ang sipon sa harap ng crush mo..
ito sabihin niyo...
kita mo na? pati sipon ko nahuhulog na sayo...
gusto mo inumin ko toh para sayo?...Nyahahaha

**********   *

Tanda: Pwede ho bang manawagan?
Host: Ilang taon na po kayo?
Tanda: 98 na po ako.
Host: Wow! Ang tanda nyo na pala! O sige po, manawagan na kayo.
Tanda: Dad, umuwi na kayo! Hindi na nagagalit si Lolo sa inyo

Check out this Tagalog Funny Jokes video on youtube

Boy: miss taga saan ka:
Girl: bakit:
boy: gusto ko lang malaman kung saan ka nakatira,ibig kitang haranahin mamayang gabi...
Girl: naku hindi na uso yun....
Boy: ano na uso ngayun:
Girl: halika hatid mo ako sa sogo..

**********   *

GIRL: Hubarin mo na bra ko...
BOY: O, ayan...
GIRL: Hubarin mo na panty ko...
BOY: O, ayan, hinubad na...
GIRL: Sige, next time, 'wag mo na isusuot mga gamit ko ha!

**********   *

Umuwi ng bahay si Boy Banat…
Boy Banat: Nanay! Pinapatawag ka sa Principal’s Office!
Nanay: Bakit?! May ginawa ka na namang katarantaduhan?!
Boy Banat: Ako ba?! Baka ikaw?! Ikaw ang ipinapatawag, di ba?! isip isip naman dyan.gee!

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Boy: pag mag asawa na tayo di kana maglalaba.
Girl: weh? talaga? bakit naman?
Boy: kasi araw araw na tayong nakahubad.

**********   *

Si Pedro bumili ako ng cond0m sa mini stop.
Cashier(girl): Sir, ipaplastik ko pa po ba?
Pedro: Hindi na, susuotin ko na e.

**********   *

Ayoko nang madidi-dikit sa pintuan...
sawang-sawa na akong tawaging boy next door.

**********   *

Boy: alam mo, para kang albatros deodorizer.
Girl: bakit naman?
Boy: kasi binigyan mu ng halimuyak ang mala-inodoro kong buhay..

**********   *

Pedro: Nakabili na ko ng hearing aid. Grabe! ang linaw na ng pandinig ko!
Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang

**********   *

Banat ng nanay sa anak
Aanuhin mo pa ang alak kung sa akin pa lang tatamaan ka na!!!

**********   *

Girl: Hatid mo ko.
Boy: Ayoko. Wala ako pera ngayon.
Girl: Ayaw mo?! Bahala ka! Wala pa naman tao sa bahay ngayon.
Boy: Aba! Tingnan mo nga naman. May naipit pa pala akong bente sa wallet.

**********   *

There are 70 ways to make me happy first is to LOVE ME!
then the rest is 69

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Pinoy Lolo and Lola Jokes

Here's collection of some Pinoy Lolo and Lola Jokes funniest moments and jokes from our grandparents to be collected from internet and social media. If your have your own favorite Filipino Lolo and Lola Jokes. We would love to hear it, all you need to do is add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: lolo at lola. Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!

ANG NAKARAAN
Lolo: Ano kaya ibalik natin ang nakaraan nung bago pa lang tayo boyfriend/girlfriend palang??
Lola: oh cge...
Lolo: sige bukas dun tayo magkita sa dati nating tagpuan ha!
Lola: oo! hintayin mo nalang ako dun.

(Naghintay si Lolo sa may tabing ilog dala ang 3 rosas with tsokolate. maghapon si lolo naghintay ngunit walang dumating. kaya umuwi na lang siya. pagdating sa bahay nadatnan si lola nakahiga at tumatawa)

Lolo: bakit di mo ko sinipot?
Lola: di ako pinayagan ni Mommy!!

KAGALIT
Pari: Si lolo lang ang walang kagalit! Ilang taon na kayo lolo?
Lolo: 90 years old
Pari: Tingnan nyo si lolo. 90 na walang kagalit. Bakit wala kayong kagalit, lolo?
Lolo: Patay na ang mga lokong yun!


MEMORY
LOLO:Mahal,matatanda na tayo,pero dapat matalas parin memory natin Pwede ba kitang subukan? LOLA:Aba oo? Sige tanungin mo ako
LOLO:5+5?
LOLA:12 di ba?
LOLO:ay oo nga matalas parin memorya mo mahal Magaling ka parin ka parin sa English hanggang ngayon!


NGIPIN
Lolo : astig ngipin mo apo ah parang exam
Apo:bakit po
Lolo: one (1) seat apart
Apo: sa inyo din po lolo parang test
Lola: bakit?
Apo: fill in the blanks

TOOTHBRUSH
LOLO: Apo, ituring mo ang syota mo na parang sepilyo...
APO: Ho?!? Paano po iyon?
LOLO: Huwag mo siyang ipagamit sa iba... at palitan mo ito minsan isang buwan.


NAHULOG
Apo: lolo, nahulog piso ko!
Lolo: hayaan mo na apo, marumi na yan.
Manong: Bata, nahulog sa kanal Lolo mo
Apo: Hayaan nyo na po marumi na yan!
Hahahahaha


FAIRY TALE
LOLA: Iho, ako ay isinumpa. Isa akong prinsesa. Kung ako ay iyong hahalikan ng 15 minuto babalik ako sa maganda kong anyo at tuluyang mapuputol ang sumpa.

(Makaraan ang 15 mins...)

LALAKE: Yan, tapos na. Bakit di ka pa rin nagpapalit ng anyo?!
LOLA: Ilang taon ka na iho?
LALAKE: 30 na ho.
LOLA: Yang tanda mong yan naniniwala ka pa sa fairy tale?

If you have you own Tagalog Lolo and Lola Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For more reads, just log on to www.boybanat.com or visit Boy Banat Official Facebook  (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat) Page for the latest features.

Pinoy Husband and Wife Jokes

Being married is a big responsibility. And with these responsibilities, we create stress and quarrels between husband and wife. We cannot escape the scenario where the husband and wife gets into a fight. They may sound funny sometimes because they tend to say things that they did for the sake of love. It is often that husband and wife also quarrel about the salary or who is going to pay the next bill. Check out these Pinoy Husband and Wife Jokes that will definitely make you relate if you have your husband or wife.

Mister: Nag beerhaus ako! Ang P200 binayad ko sa beer Misis: Bakit kulang ang sweldo mo ng isang libo?
Mister: Ang P800, binigay ko sa dancer kasi alang damit, awang awa ako!

**********   *

Si Mister umuwi ng lasing:
Misis: Naglasing ka nanaman!!! palagi na lang kapag lasing ka, naasar ako sa mukha mo!!!
Mister: Kung hindi naman ako umuwi ng lasing, ako naman ang maasar sa mukha mo!!!

**********   *

Home version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire:
Husband: dear puede ka ba ngayon?
Wife: di puede pagod ako!
Husband: is that final?
Wife: FINAL!!!!
Husband: ok, can i phone a friend?!?

Husband: ano ang pagkain natin?
Wife: nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
Husband: isang pirasong tuyo?ano pagpipilian ko?
Wife: pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!

**********   *

Wife: bat gabi ka na?
Husband: sensya na, nag aya mga officemates ko, nagkainuman lang...
Wife: Lasing ka no?!
Husband: Hindi!
Wife: anong hindi? Wala ka naman trabaho, pano ka nagkaron ng officemates?

Mag Asawang Bagong Kasal

Misis:Labs, may maganda akong balita sayo..malapit na tayo maging tatlo sa bahay na 'to..
Mister:Talaga, Labs?Wow. Ako na yata ang pinakamasayang tao sa mundo!
Misis: Buti naman at ganiyan ang nararamdaman mo.Dito na titira ang nanay ko!

**********   *

Daddy: Mommy, ang ganda ganda ng anak natin galing ata yan sa iyo ang angkin niyang kariktan!
Mommy: Huh!, paano nangyari iyun eh hindi naman ako ganun kaganda? (kilig kilig)
Daddy: yun na nga eh, wala ng natira sa iyo, nasa anak na natin lahat!

**********   *

Mister: Honey nakukunsyensya ako,dapat ko ng ipagtapat ito sa iyo.
Misis: Honey okay sa akin,mahal naman kita.
Mister: Honey alam mo,kapag nagseseks tayo,iba ang pinapantasya kong babae.
Misis: A ganon ba!???Eh honey ikaw naman ang nasa isip ko kapag kaseks ko ang ibang lalaki!!

**********   *

Meron Mag asawa nag- aaway:
Mister: mas ok pa yata kung nagpakasal ako sa demonyo!!!
Misis: wehhhh! bawal kaya magpakasal sa kamag- anak.. hehehe

**********   *

Isang gabing malamig.. kalabit c Mister kay Misis.
Misis.: not tonight dear, I have an appointment with my OB bukas, dyahi pag may sperm in me.
Mister. : Kalabit uli.... eh sa dentist may appointment ka?

If you have your own collection of Tagalog Jokes, feel free to share it in the comment box. You can also react and share these funny jokes at your social media acount. Stay updated to Pinoy Funny Jokes here at www.boybanat.com and Like our Facebook page  (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Aling Dionisia Funny Jokes

Manny Pacquaio is very popular among Filipinos who really love boxing, but even if his popularity makes him a notable Filipino, his mother 'Aling Dionisia' is also making her career in the line of comedy which makes her popular on Pinoy Jokes because of her way of speaking. Here are some Aling Dionisia Funny Jokes that will certainly make you laugh hard and realize some funny moments that you can relate to. 

If you have some Aling Dionisia Jokes, you can share it here at boybanat.com or email us at boybanatweb@gmail.com and I'll publish it for others to see. This is for entertainment purposes only and does not intend to offend anyone.

Sa Isang Birthday Party

Aling Dionisia:   Blue!!!  Blue the Kick!!!!

********   *

Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.

Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...Gusto ko gumanda!

Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.

Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?

Genie: Hindi, babalik na lang ako,  magtitiis sa loob at

mag-aantay ng bagong makakapulot ng bote.

********   *

Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.

Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?

Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung seeds.

********   *

Aling Dionisia:  Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapatkasali din pangalan ko.

Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.

Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.

Manny: Talaga ‘nay? Anu?

Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky)

********   *

Sa Las Vegas

Waiter: May I take your order, Madam?

Aling Dionisia: Soup

Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?

Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!

This is for entertainment purposes only and does not intend to offend anyone.

********   *

Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.

Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?

Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Para umayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?

'you is!'

'you is!'

'you is!'

-sigaw ni aling dionisia pgdating sa Amerika. Andito na aq sa 'you is!'

********   *

Sa isang susyaling salon:

Gretchen B.: "i want my hair dyed jet black, cut it short and then treat it with lots of keratin extracts."

Aling Dionisia: "i want my hair dyed gold, curl it to the fullest level then implant 1 diamond at the tip of every strand."

Taob!! haha! Bentang-benta si Aling Dionisia.

Its very funny thinking that the famous Filipino Boxer has a mother which makes her popular because of the humour she has. Keep updated to Funny jokes here at www.boybanat.com, and please like our Facebook page fb.com/akosiboybanat as we have more features that you can relate to. You can also share your thoughts in the comment box.

Pinoy Inday Jokes and Banat ni Inday

Inday is the famous 'kasambahay' of all. She's funny and sometimes compulsive. Her way of speaking and how she thinks makes her a box of laughing jokes. We Filipinos always relate her to our daily lives. She's always present in a servant-master scenario that has been very prevalent in our country. Here are some Pinoy Inday Jokes and Banat ni Inday that will definitely make your day a little brighter and funnier.

Beggar

Amo: inday, may pulubi s gate,paalisinn mo nga..
Inday: Right away!
Inday to Beggar: hey you putrid-smelling beggar with the diverse ambiance of scented junk that assails everybody’s nostrils & carbon free lungs, please go away now!
Beggar: What?! Who do you think you are?!You pathetic trying hard nanny! how could you, a social climber & very low grade mammal, underestimate a high-class beggar like me? what the  hell with u!
Inday: nakakasakit kana ah! mam oh,ayaw umalis oh..hehe!

**********   *

Inday caregiver

Isang araw, nagulat ang amo dahil bumalik ang naglayas na si Inday.
Amo: Inday! Bumalik ka rin! Bakit?
Inday: I care about my job, Sir. I care about you!

**********   *

Amo: Inday, ba't umiiyak ka?
Inday: Sabi po ng doktor tatanggalan daw ako ng butlig..
Amo: Butlig lang iiyak ka na?!!

Inday: Okay lang kung right lig o lep lig lang, kaso but lig eh!

**********   *

Phone Bills

Tatay: Laki ng PLDT bills dito sa bahay. i don’t use this phone naman, i use my office phone.
Nanay: Same here. I use my work phone.
Anak: Me too, i use my company phone.
Inday: So what’s the problem? We all use the phone in our work, di ba?

**********   *

Puyat si Inday

Inday: Walang hiyang kang lalaki ka pinuyat mo ako kagabi
Dodong: Bakit ano ba ginawa ko
Inday: Nagsasalita ka ng mga pangalan ng mga babae merong Tina, Marie, Rose etc.ect.etc
Dodong: So ano ngayon, ano kinalaman ko sa pagkapuyat mo
Inday: Hinihintay ko kc banggitan mo pangalan ko eh

**********   *

Bukol

Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo,
nakitang me bukol si junior.
Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: (nosebleed) T_T

Chop Suey

sa isang sikat na restaurant..

Waiter: Ano po order nila, ma'am, sir?
Amo: whole roasted chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano order mo?
Inday: I would like to partake of a dish sauteed pork and chicken boiled in thick essence of soy sauce & veggies, like carrots, cauliflower, and baguio beans.  Sprinkled generously with fine spices and spring onion, generously helping of rootcrop and rice!
Amo: bigyan mo raw ng chopseuy 'tong abnormal na 'to! lagyan mo marang vetsin nang mamatay na!

**********   *

Tumawag si Pacquiao

(Pacquiao’s calling)
Inday: Gunaydin! (Good morning in Turkish)
Pacquiao: Hilow! Is Mr. Montinigru ober dir? I want to jas know ip can he be here to

catch me in di ring por di fight? I can be winning. Im not to be in di lose.
Inday: ha? (nosebleed)
-na knockout sa Inglis ni Manny! Sa wakas natalo rin si Inday.

Echoserang Inday

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ngbahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke,at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?
Inday: I believe that my trained skills andexpertise in management with the use of standardtools, and my discipline and experience willcontribute significantly to the value of thework that you want, my creativity, productivityand work-efficiency and the high quality ofoutcomes I can offer will boost the workprogress.
Amo: (nosebleed) T_T

Funny, right? Keep the light atmosphere up by staying tuned to more tagalog jokes here at www.boybanat.com and if you have a Facebook account please like our Facebook page  www.fb.com/akosiboybanat so you can enjoy more!

Donya Ina Quotes and Jokes

Dona Mother Quotes and Jokes is another compilation of amusing and striking commentaries from now a well-Received " Social Media Momster "aka Dona Mother who earned an instant popularity through Bubble Gang's newest segment you and Mother . Lady Dona played superbly by Michael Jackson is now hitting the social networking sites Facebook and Twitter Such as. Probably created this character to tell us that not all trending activities are especially good at all When you're not in the Appropriate place or time to do it right. Such are some of the disturbing selfie, duck-face, taking pictures of everything and excessive hashtags.

So here's Dona Mother Quotes and Jokes to remind us of how we Should enjoy the advantages and the disadvantages of not consider social media: 

Grades

Children,

I know you're smart. But why should you try posting all grades to wall on Facebook? Do pagpost brains contribute to the grades you on Facebook? Not yet satisfied, you have tagged classmates you, to praise you and envy you.

What kaartehan and conceit that?

Please explain. Labyu.

Dona Mother

FIRST COMMENT

Children,

I found the comment on the status of your friends, "First to comment". Sure you receive one diploma nyan?

Please explain. Labyu!

Dona Mother

*****

Braces

Children,

I know you already braces. But that does not mean you're beautiful nun ha? You just Nagmukha PIRANHA.

I Naexplain! Labyu!

Dona Mother

*****

Teary EYED

Children,

I saw you on FB picture you smiling and teary eyed more and more that quote "I'm smiling. But I'm dying." What kagagahan that?

Please explain. Labyu!

Dona Mother

*****

Sleepiness

Children,

Why do you still awake? Yung read the way you post: "I also visited the duration of dormancy!" What madness ie nak? Wild climber ever drowsiness during long now and you kelangan visit?

Please explain. Labyu!

Dona Mother

You can check out Bubble Gang You and Mother segment 

FANSIGN

Children,

What Do Yung nanaman status updated? "WHO WANTS FANSIGN?". Speaking earlier turned seselfie you with a paper with the name of the imaginary fans like? I just inquisitive. Celebrity you? What is it about fansign picture? Children, that you turn a blind. Did not you see? So many people would have you fansign. If you are feeling you're semi Ann Curtis. Push ahead Eh we just that! I also call that photographer photoshoot you can and practice we EDSA billboard Yung fansign you. 

Please spamming! Love You!

Dona Mother

*****

SEXY

Children,

Status to read, "The SEXY I really do." Not sexy son, you just skinny. What the iinambisyosa 'to?

Please explain. Labyu!

Dona Mother

*****

ONLINE CONTEST

Children,

News I join nanaman an Online Contest. Likes Paramihan the Picture. To get candidates to run in elections. Peer busy people time you like a picture of you. Patu Do you Sendan nmana and I am more of you. "Please turn Picture palki LIKE me!" What madness that? Beautiful you nyan?

Please spamming! Love You!

Dona Mother

*****

ABS

Children,

Many like to lalike the picture you do not see the abs you in the face? Yung true gygym did you or did phophotoshoot? What the handsome fefeeling nanaman ba?

Please spamming! Love You!

Dona Mother

*****

Congressman

Children,

Why when naglike status or picture kelangan you all appreciate you? What are you? Congressman?

Please explain! Labyu!

Dona Mother

*****

PLEASE "LIKE"

Children,

What you chinat Yung in my view, "Hello guys, please like my profile picture. Thanks!" What pagmamaganda again 'to?

Please explain. Labyu!

Dona Mother

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Advance Ako Mag-Isip Funny Jokes and Memes

Have you met the guy who is better than Avenger's Dr. Strange and Nostradamus? if not, well meet Albert Mangapit, a call center agent that caught through buy bust operation in Antipolo City this June 2018. During the interview of 24Oras to Mr. Mangapit, one of his notable answer was "Advanced ako mag-isip, look at Antipolo. How much is the land area of Antipolo unused, good for farming marijuana. Marijuana can produce plastics that can decay in 90 days, marijuana can cure cancer.", which has caught the attention of viewers and netizens. The clip when viral and a lot of meme pages posted his photo bearing the caption "Advanced ako mag-isip". Netizens were fast to convert his photo into something funny and now popularized as the "new" future-thinking man flooding your timelines.

As this newest memes are all over the social media world, we have compiled some of our own list of "Advance Ako Mag-Isip Funny Jokes and Memes":

"Di ko na kailangan maglinis ng bahay

Kasi madudumihan lang din naman.

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

"Di na ako iinom ng tubig

Kasi i-iihi ko lang din naman yan.

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

"Di ko kailangan ng pera

Kasi magagastos ko lang yan.

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

"Hindi na ako pumasok

Mag-uuwian din naman.

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

"Bakit pa kailangan kumain

Eh Itatae mo din naman yan.

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

"Bakit pa ako kailangan matulog

Eh gigising din naman ako.

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

"May sagot ka na agad

Bago pa ibigay ang exam!

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

"Mag uniform na agad bago matulog

Para pag gising ready an agad pumasok sa school

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

"Maligo na dalawang beses

Para bukas hindi maligo

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

"Wag na i-charge ang cellphone

Malolobat din nman

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

"Kunin ko na agad ang backpay ko

Bago pa ako mag start sa work

Advanced Ako Mag-isip!"

If you have you own "Advance ako mag-Isip" Jokes and Memes, feel free to share it with us and we will be delighted to have them featured here at www.boybanat.com. Let us inspire more readers. For more reads and updates, you can also visit and Like our Facebook Page (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Funny Tagalog Mother and Child Jokes

The bond between a mother and her child is priceless. There are some memorable moments that you can relate to, especially those funny and hilarious ones. Here are some of Funny Tagalog Mother and Child Jokes that I know that you'll enjoy. You can laugh and relate to these funny moments. You can also share this your friends special someones and specially to your Mother so they can enjoy reading it.

Mommy: bakit ngayon ka lang? Gabing gabi na ha
Son: not now Mom, I'm so tired and ang daming projects dapat ipasa, mga activities na dapat i-attend and research for my thesis, 1 on 1 interview with my prof and bukas may meeting pa with dean. I'm so stressed out!
Mommy: (sabay batok sa anak) Stressed out?! Anak kinder ka plang, Kinder!

* * * * *

Nanay: Anak. hindi ka ba nahihiya niyan? tawag ako ng tawag sayo, para utusan ka. tapos ikaw, text ka lang ng text dyan habang kinikilig sa kung sinumang ka text mo?!
Anak: Nay, hindi ba mas nakakahiya kung ako ang mag-uutos sa inyo at ikaw ang nagte-text dito habang kinikilig?
Nanay: sabi ko nga. Sorry naman, Anak!

* * * * *

Mom: Anak, you're good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a question.
Anak: Sure Mom!
Mom: If your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your answer?
Anak: thank you po!

* * * * *

Nanay: lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang tigas talaga ng ulo mo!
Anak: Inay naman, kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa po kayo pero pag ako ngagalit ka. Sino ba talaga anak mo, ako o yung baboy? Umayos ka po Nay di ka nakakatuwa.XD

* * * * *

Boy: Nay, may ulam ba?
Nanay: Tignan mo na lang dyan sa ref, anak.
Boy: Eh wala naman tayong ref, di ba?
Nanay: Ganun ba di wala tayong ulam. Konting common sense naman dyan!

* * * * *

Anak: Mama! Muntik na ako maging top one sa klase!
Nanay: Bakit mo naman nasabi?
Anak: Ini-announce kasi kanina yung top one sa klase. Ang tinuro ng teacher ko yung katabi ko......Muntik na po ako!

Inay: Lapit na pala birthday mo anak!
Anak: Inay, gusto ko ngayong birthday ko, espesyal, ha.
Dapat ‘yung message mo sa akin, ma-touch at maiiyak ako.
Inay: Anak, ampon ka.

If you have you own hilarious Mother and Child Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be delighted to have them featured here at www.boybanat.com. Let us inspire more readers. For more reads and updates, you can also visit and Like our Facebook Page (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Funniest Green Jokes That Will Keep You Imagining

Some creative minds had just coined a lot of green jokes that are always funny. Most of them are hilarious and can really make you laugh out loud. From the thermometer joke up to difference between a snowmen and snowwomen, all of those can ease your bad day. These are mostly simple one-liners that can make you think twice before you get it right and secretly, some of these jests can turn you on. Ooops! Don't worry, you’re not the only one.

So if you're bored or looking for something to make your day, then this read is for you. We have collected some of the Funniest Green Jokes That Will Keep You Imagining.

Q: How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A: By the taste


Q: How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper!


Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.

Q: Why will a woman never be the one to propose?
A: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.


Q: Whats long, hard and full of seamen?
A: A submarine


Q: Who was the world’s first carpenter?
A: Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand


Q: Why didn't the Toilet Paper cross the road?
A: It got stuck in a crack


Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
A: Good morning ladies.


Q: What does a woman put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
A: Her ankles.


Q: What do girls and noodles have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them


Q: What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
A: She gagged


Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.


Q: Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children?
A: Because he only comes once a year, and it's down your chimney.


Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.


Q: What is 72?
A: 69 with three people watching


Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.


Q: What does in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?
A: Chewing gum

We know what you're thinking. And you get it right. Well, the doctor is also doing it right. Do you think the Doc is lucky enough? We think so.


Q: What's green and smells like pork?
A: Kermit the frog's finger


Q: What do you call two fat people talking?
A: A heavy discussion


Q: What three words will ruin a man's ego?
A: "Is it in?"


Q: What did the letter O say to Q?
A: Dude, your junk is hanging out.


Q: What's the worst thing about dating a blonde?
A: If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they.


Q: Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
A: Because Ken came in another box


Q: Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?
A: Because he wanted to find a tight seal


Q: What do you call an expert fisherman?
A: A Master Baiter

Do you like our feature today? We have more here at www.boybanat.com so stay connected with us. We've got a lot of reads that can bring you serious laughs and can turn your day into good one. If you also want to share your own ideas with us, feel free to Contact Us.

Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago's Best Pick Up Lines Collection and Miriam's Pick-Up Lines, Banat, Quotes and Jokes

All eyes are now on Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago, from different controversial issues, critiques from different personalities while the light part, is the rumored guesting of honorable  Sen. Miriam Santiago in the upcoming Boy Pick-Up: The Movie lead by Ogie Alcasid. So we to collect and compiled those best pick-up lines by Sen. Santiago.

Check out this Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago's Best Pick-up Lines Collection and Miriam's Banat, Quotes and Jokes collected just for you and even can share it on your facebook wall. If you have your own Sen Miriam Santiago Pick-up Lines Banat Pick-Up Lines , we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: miriam pickup. Hope you'll like it!

“Sana cardiologist ka na lang,

  para ikaw ang mag-aalaga sa puso ko.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Hindi ko alam ang katapusan ng universe,

  pero alam ko ang simula: U N I.”

*          *         *           *           *

“When someone told me ‘Ang ganda mo.’

  I told her, ‘Sana ikaw rin.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Maglaro tayo ng kahit ano, huwag lang taguan.

  Kasi someone like you is hard to find.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Anong height mo?

  Pano ka nagkasya sa puso ko?”

“Masasabi mo bang bobo ako

  kung ikaw lang naman ang laman ng utak ko?”

*          *         *           *           *

“Para kang test paper,

  nauubos ang oras ko sa kakatitig lang sayo.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Sana mataas din ang presyo ko

  para minsan naman matawag mo rin akong mahal.”

“Ngayong break na tayo,

  daig ko pa ang traffic sa edsa. I cannot move on.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Minamalat na naman ang puso ko,

  pano kasi laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Ako na ang magbabayad sa tuition fee mo,

  basta pag-aralan mo lang na mahalin ako.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Grabe ang dami nang pick up lines ngayon,

  wala na nga akong maisip na iba kundi ikaw.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Sana magkasama tayo sa pila,

para pag may sumigaw na next at hindi mo narinig,

tatanungin mo agad ako kung “Tayo na ba?”

*          *         *           *           *

”Pangalan mo pa lang kinikilig na ako,

  pano pa kaya kung magka apelyido na tayo?”

*          *         *           *           *

“Straw ka ba?

  Kasi sipsip ka na plastic ka pa.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Ang pag-ibig ay parang ketchup,

  matamis pero maraming nakikisawsaw.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Pedicab ka ba?

  PEDICABang i-date sa Valentines Day?”

*          *         *           *           *

“Gusto kitang kasuhan ng trespassing,

  kasi basta-basta ka na lang pumapasok sa puso ko.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Ang love parang bayad sa dyip,

  minsan hindi nasusuklian.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Empleyado ka ba? Empleyado rin ako.

  Pwede tayong magkaroon ng union.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Ang sabi nila, ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away.’

Kung guwapo o maganda ang doctor, ayoko na ng apple.”

*          *         *           *           *

“Pwede bang magpa-blood test? Para malaman mo na type kita.”

If you have you own Sen. Miriam Santiago's Pick Up Lines, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For more reads, just log on to www.boybanat.com or visit Boy Banat Official Facebook Page for the latest features.

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