Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Pinoy School Jokes

Titser: Ano ang Pambansang Hayop ng Pilipinas? Nagsisimula ito sa letrang "K"!
Juan: Kabayo?
Titser: Mali! Nagtatapos ito sa letrang "W"!
Juan: Kabayow?
Titser: Mali! May 2 sungay ito!
Juan: demonyong kabayow? Hahahah


Teacher: Write a sentence ending with HAND.
Juan: My penis in ur hand!
Teacher slapped juan…
Juan: Sorry I forgot to put space between pen and is…^_^

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Teacher: Juan, ba’t lagi mong nilalawayan ang ulo mo tuwing may klase tayo?
Juan: Narinig ko po kasi, sabi ni ate sa boyfriend niya, basain ng laway ang ulo ‘pag ayaw pumasok.

**********   *

Mayabang si Pedro
Teacher: Ito na ang resulta ng exam nyo. Si Boy Banat lang nakakuha ng 97%.
Pedro: Ano ha?! Kaya nyo yon?! Wala pang aral yon! Sinasayang nyo lang tuition nyo! Umuwi na kayo mga bubu!!
Teacher: The rest, nakakuha ng 100% !!  hahahahaha

**********   *

sa isang Math class..

Teacher: Pedro, kung ako'y may 5 anak sa unang asawa, 10 naman sa pangalawa, at 3 sa pangatlo; meron akong?
Pedro: Kalandian! Isa kang karengkeng Ma'am.

**********   *

Teacher asks her pupils what they want to be in the future...
Kiko: I want to be a lawyer
Juan: I want to be a doctor
Nene: I want to be a mother
Pedro: I want to help Nene

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Guro: Pedro, Totoo bang hindi naninigarilyo, di umiinom. di nagsusugal at di  nangchichicks ang papa mo?
Pedrol: Opo!
Pedro: Wow! Anong sikreto nya?
Pedro: walang pera

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Teacher: who can make a sentence then translate it in tagalog?
Pupil: my titser is beautiful, isn't she?
Teacher:: very good, translate it in tagalog.
Pupil: ang guro ko ay maganda, maganda nga ba?

**********   *

HRM at NURSING Student nag-uusap:
HRM:Penge nga alcohol!!
NURSE:La akong alcohol eh.. sori
HRM:Naturingan kang nursing student, la kang alcohol!
NURSE:Cge nga.pengeng kaldero at sandok!Now n!May dala kb?!

**********   *

"The prefix "BI" is used to describe things that come in two's like BIcycle, BIfocal,
and BInary.
Can you give me an example Juan?"
JUAN: (lunok) "Ma'am.. B*YAG?"

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