Pinoy Funny Jokes and Tagalog Funny Jokes

Here's a collection of Pinoy Funny Jokes and Tagalog Funny Jokes.  If your have your own favorite Pinoy Funny Jokes and Tagalog Funny Jokes, we would love to hear it, add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: funny pinoy. Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!

Tuition Fee

Alam mo yung feeling na hawak mo,
pero alam mong hinding hindi magiging sa'yo.
-Tuition Fee

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Killer: Father mangungumpisal po ako.
Father: ano ba kasalanan mo???
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 katao.
Father: BAkit??
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos… kayo po ba naniniwala??
Father: Dati, pero ngayon trip-trip lang.
Lolang Emo
"Isang araw habang nanunuod ako tumabi sakin ang lola ko...
ang haba ng buhok at itim na itim ang damit parang malungkot at may hawak na kutsilyo...
KINABAHAN ako.....
nag-isip ako....
nagsalita sya....
sabe......
"apo, bagay ba sakin ang EMO?"

Pamasahe

Sa Isang Jeep
Pasahero: Mama, magkano po yong pasahe?
Driver: 8 pesos yong minimum.
Pasahero: (Dumukot ito sa bulsa para kunin yong pera niya, ngunit sa 'di sinasadyang dahilan kulang yong pamasahe niya.) Patay, kulang 'tong pera ko. Paano kaya ito? (Nag isip ito at lumingon sa driver. Napansin niya na duling ito. Sabi niya sa kanyang sarili, tama duling 'tong driver sigurado 'pag nagbigay ako Ng 3.50 di diya mapapansin na kulang 'tong pera ko, kasi doble 'yong paningin nito. Inabot niya sa driver 'yong pera.
Ngunit laking gulat niya nong may sinabi 'yong driver sa kanya.
Driver: Kulang ito!
Pasahero: Anong kulang? Di ba sabi mo 7peso 'yong minimum?
Driver: Oo nga 8 pesos. Eh! Dalawa kaya kayo.

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Holdaper na Mabait

Holdaper: Holdap to! Akina laman ng pitaka mo.
Biktima: Pasensya na po walang laman ang pitaka ko e.
Holdaper: Ganoon ba? Paano yan?
Biktima: Kung gusto niyo po kukuha muna ako sa bahay tapos balikan ko na lang kayo dito.
Holdaper: O sige. Aantayin na lang kita dito. Bumalik ka na lang pag may laman na yang pitaka mo. Buti na lang mabait ako.

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Bestfriend

Boy: tandaan mo lahat ng sasabihin ko dahil importante ito
Girl: ok ano ba sasabihin mo?
Boy: mahal na mahal kita lagi mo tandaan na andito lang ako lagi sa tabi mo!!!
Boy: ano natatandaan mo ba?
Girl: (kinilig) ah oo naman
Boy: good pakisabi sa besfriend mo ha!!

Grade

tatay: anak!! anong itong F sa card mo ha!!

anak: (nag-iisip) tatay Fasado po ibig sabihin niyan

tatay: Ahh akala ko Ferfect!!

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Madamot

Juan: Oys, ano yan? Pinya? Pahingi naman dyan.

Pedro: Pahingi? Nasaan ka noong nagbubungkal ako ng lupa sa ilalim ng init ng araw? Nasaan ka noong nagtatanim ako habang kumukulog, kumikidlat at

bumubuhos ang malakas na ulan? Nasaan ka noong oras na nag-aani ako na nagkalat ang maraming ahas sa dadaanan ko, noong naghihirap ako sa pagpasan ng pinya? Nasaan ka?

Juan: Nakakulong kasi ako noon! Nakapatay ako ng madamot!

Pedro: Ganun ba?

Kuha ka na, kahit ilan!

May langka pa doon!

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Lab ako ni Tatay

ANAK: 'Tay! Sino mas mahal mo, ako o si nanay?

TATAY: Syempre ikaw anak...

ANAK: Kaya pala kapag madaling araw,

ako po ay kinukumutan niyo

at si nanay naman po ay

hinuhubaran niyo...

sweet niyo talaga 'tay, a lab u....

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Sekyu

Airforce: "No guts, No glory!"

Marines: "No retreat, No surrender!"

Army: "No pain, No gain!"

Naks ayaw patalo ang Security Guards: "No I.D, No entry!"

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Lasing

Isang lasing nasalubong ang matabang babaeng may aso...

Lasing: Hoy, san mo nakuha 'yang baboy?

Babae: Aso ito hindi baboy!

Lasing: Wag kang sumabat! 'Yong aso ang kausap ko!

If you have you own Tagalog Funny Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Christian Quotes and Sayings

Here's a Christian Quotes that will inspire you to walk in God's Will. A Christian Quotes which easily recognized and familiar with, a collection of God's Will quotes that will give you positive effect in your lives and you care about. Enjoy!

Don't worry about hard times because

some of the most beautiful things we have in life come from changes and mistakes.

Live with NO REGRETS because everything

happens for a reason.

Check out this Related Quotes about Christian Quotes
Bible Quotes
Happiness Quotes
Inspirational Quotes
Friendship Quotes and Sayings
Lenten Season Quotes Pinoy

"Worthy is he who remember to thank

the Lord for all his blessings

But admirable is he who still thank

God inspite of pain.."

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"Lord thank you for TRUE

people who ENRICH my life

& make it MEANINGFUL by

their LOVE let them live

under your care and BLESS them

always...Good Day!!!"

"God has no iPhone , but I talk to him . He has no Facebook , but he is still my friend . He does not have a twitter , but I still follow him . And even without internet , i'm still in contact with him . Post this as your status if you think God is great and your NOT ashamed."!

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"Everything that you lose has its own way of returning back to you,

The funny thing is, its not always the way you expect it,

Sometimes its even more.."

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The Lord says:

“These people come near to me with their mouth

and honor me with their lips,

but their hearts are far from me.

Their worship of me

is made up only of rules taught by men."

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God chooses what the world abuses. You are not a surprise to God He knew what He was picking when He picked you. It's time you recognize who you truly are A CHILD OF GOD. So go out there and let His light shine through you

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"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life."

JOHN 3:16.

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"Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;

bring an offering and come into his courts."

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"If it weren't for the optimist, the pessimist would never know how happy he wasn't."

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"Dear Lord, I pray that whoever reads this shall have Your comfort, joy, peace,

love and guidance and be carried by You - I may not know their troubles, but You do"

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"Exalt the LORD our God

and worship at his holy mountain,

for the LORD our God is holy."

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"Be a sinner and sin strongly,

but more strongly have faith and rejoice in Christ."

Do you have your own favorite Christian Quotes? Share with us and keep posted it here. Visit us again here at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook page for more quotes, pun lines and latest news feeds.