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Funny Text Messages and Quotes SMS

Here's the best, cute and very funny collection of Funny Text Messsages and Quotes SMS that will leave you rolling in the ground with laughter. Send these to your friends, post in your Facebook wall and make their day enjoyable. If you have your own favorite Funny Text Messsages and Quotes SMS, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: funny text. Hope you'll like it!

Son: Dad, what do I give my girlfriend as a gift?
Dad: How does she look?
Son: She looks sweet, pretty, fun to be with and, of course, lovely.
Dad: Give her my number! Nyahahah

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Father & son are out fishing & drinking beer while discussing football.
All of a sudden, the son says, “Dad, I think I’m gonna divorce my wife.
She hasn’t spoken to me in 11 months.”
His dad takes a sip of beer & replies, “Son, better think it over.
Women like that are hard to find!”



A man after a romantic dinner date with his girlfriend saw a guy’s photo in
her bag..
HE: is he your boyfriend?
SHE: (kissed him) No, dear, that’s me before surgery.

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“My Wi-Fi suddenly stopped working...
Then I realized that my neighbours haven’t paid the bills...
How irresponsible” LOLz!! nyahaha

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Quote: some people say, “behind evry successful man there is a woman”
but nobody knows the fact that “women choose only successful men.” hahaha

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In a classroom, a student was praying..
TEACHER: Why are you praying before we start our lesson?
BOY: Mom told me that before sleeping you must pray!XD

**********   *

They say milk give you strength, drink three glasses & try to move a wall.
You can’t. But take three shots of Vodka & the wall will move by itself.XD

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Wikipedia: I know everything.
Google : I have everything.
Facebook: I know everyone.
Twitter : I know what you all guys think.
Internet : Goshh… Without me, you guys are nothing!
MERALCO: Yeah! Keep talking, without me you are silent! TRUE nyahahah!!

**********   *

Dying husband asks his wife: “Our 7th child always looked different from the
other 6, did he have a different father?”
wife (crying): yes
husband: who?
wife: you.... XD

**********   *

Only Two Things Can Change a Woman’s Mood:
1. I Love You!
2. Less 50% Discount.. XD

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For Women who say…
“ALL MEN ARE THE SAME,”
Someone posed a question…
“Who told you to try ALL OF THEM?”

**********   *

Wife was teaching English to her non-English speaking husband.
WIFE: I’m beautiful. I’m slim. My face is cute. I’m hot. What tense is this?
Husband: It’s Past Tense!

**********   *

A girl asks a bookstore clerk, “Do you have a book entitled, ‘Girls Are Very
Intelligent?’”
Sales clerk replies, “The Humor Section is on your left side.”XD

**********   *

When I was a child so many girls wanted to kiss me!
I allowed them
but,
Now I want to kiss so many girls
And they don’t allow me!
Selfish girls.XD LOlz

**********   *

When words are not enough to express your feelings,
don’t think that you are in love....
It means that you need to Improve Your Vocabulary!XD











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