Bubble Gang-Ikaw at ang Ina Funny Jokes

Bubble Gang-Ikaw at ang Ina Funny Jokes are fetched from Ikaw at ang Ina which is a new segment in Bubble Gang. The show is, by far, the longest running gag show in the Philippines. In addition to their wide range of gags, including recurring skits or role playing, Bubble Gang has conceptualized Ikaw at Ang Ina probably to spoof another real life but very common situations that involves people and social media.

Ikaw at ang Ina casts Michael V who acts superbly as the Ina who depicts a logical mother constantly questions behavior of her daughters indulged in social networking activities such as selfie and taking pictures of food before eating them then upload to Instagram and the like.

While this may spells "patama" for some social media sites users, Ikaw at ang Ina Funny Jokes is perfectly mixed with a comedic tone and the delivery of the lines makes this segments even more funnier.

Here's a first installment of Ikaw at Ang Ina Funny Lines and Wise Sayings that would surely make you laugh and realize that Ina is right :

HASHTAG

Anak,

Kailangan ba na punuin mo ng hashtag bawat post mo sa Instagram? nag post ka pa kung mas marami pa ang hashtag mo kesa sa picture mo. Ano to? HASHTAGRAM?

Paki Explain! Lab You!

- Ina

STARBUCKS

Anak,

Galing ka nanaman ba ng Starbucks? Ginawa mo nanamang studio ang Starbucks? nag pictorial nanaman ba kayo ng inorder mo? ung totoo? coffee shop yan o photo studio? 

Paki Explain! Lab U!

-Ina

*     *     *     *     *

GM (Group Message)

Anak,
Kailangan ba na mag GM bago matulog? Yung totoo? Artista ka ba? may mga fans ka ba na mababaliw at maiiyak kapag naka tanggap sila ng text galing sayo? Sige sa halip na magdasal ka bagi matulog eh GM ang inaaatupag mo? anong pag mamaganda nanaman yan?

Sige nga! Paki Explain! Lab You!
-Ina

ONLINE CONTEST

Anak,

Balita ko sumali ka nanaman sa isang Online Contest. Paramihan ng Likes sa Picture. Para ka ng kandidato na tumakbo sa eleksyon. Busy sa pamimilit ng mga taong magla-like ng picture mo.  Patu ba nmana ako at sendan mo pa ng pm mo. "Please Palki LIKE naman ng Picture ko!" Anong kabaliwan yan? Maganda ka na nyan?

Paki Explain! Lab You!

-Ina

*     *     *     *     *

FANSIGN

Anak,

Ano nanaman ba yung status update mo? "WHO WANTS FANSIGN?". Eto pala seselfie mo kanina na may kasamang papel na may pangalan ng mga imaginary fans mo? Matanong ko lang. Artista ka ba? Ano ba ang mayroon sa fansign na yan? Anak, pumikit ka nga. Di ba wala kang nakikita?

Ganyan karami ang taong gusto magkaroon ng fansign mo. Kung feeling mo ay mala Ann Curtis ka na. Sige Eh Push lang natin yan! Tatawag na rin ako ng photographer ng makapg photoshoot ka at maipa billboard natin sa EDSA yung fansign mo.

Paki Explain! Lab You!

-Ina

If you have your own version of Ikaw at ang Ina Funny Jokes, feel free to share it with us. We would be glad to feature them in our site. 

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Bob Ong Best Diskarte and Bob Ong Tips in Courtship

Bob Ong Best Diskarte and Bob Ong Tips in Courtship is a collection of advises and tips from Bob Ong, a contemporary Filipino author who is popular for writing creative, and reflective of Filipino life. Bob Ong is just a pseudonym and his real identity remains mysterious, though. Some of his famous works are ABNKKBSNPLAko?!, Bakit Baligtad Magbasa ng Libro ang mga Pilipino? and Stainless Longganisa.

Bob Ong is best known for his cheesy and patama quotations about love found in his books. The element of comedy and the depiction of a typical Filipino life are the factors that make avid readers to patronized Ong's books. Well, he is not just confined with cheesy lines and quotes but he indulged in giving advice and tips on how to win someone else's heart.

Here's some of Bob Ong Best Diskarte and Bob Ong Tips in Courtship that you could share with your friends for a winning move to take a girl's heart away.

Dear Mr. Bob Ong,

Matagal ko na pong nililigawan itong babae na nakilala ko recently sa isang party. Nasisiraan na ako ng bait. Pag nakilala mo siya, tiyak matutunaw ang utak mo sa kakaisip sa kanya.

Hingi lang po ako ng advice. Paano ko po siya mapapaibig? Bibigyan ko ba siya ng tula? Haharanahin ko ba siya? Roses? Kalachuchi? Chocnut at sampaguita?

In-Love na po ako. Ano po ang gagawin ko? Is she the one?

Lubos na gumagalang,

Matt

- ANG REPLY -

Dear Matt,

Hindi ka talaga sasagutin niyang nililigawan mo. Napaka-old school kasi ng mga tactics mo. Wala nang gumagawa ng ganyan. Sa panahon ngayon, lahat ng bagay, nagtaas na. Nagtaas na ang gasolina, nagtaas na ang presyo ng bigas at mga bilihin, nagtaas na ang pamasahe, at lalong nagtaas na rin ng standards ang mga babae. Hindi na uubra yang siopao at suman mo. Lalo na yung huli mong binigay, hopia at santan. Ano ba pare? Anong era ka ba pinanganak?

Pero don't worry. It's not too late. May pag-asa ka pa. Hindi pa naman siya kinakasal at di pa niya sinasagot yung crush niya na basketball player. Kahit lamang siya ng sampung paligo sa'yo, daanin mo sa utak at creativity. Dahil aminin na natin, iyon na LANG talaga ang pag-asa mo. Heto, bibigyan kita ng mga simple, tried and tested na mga regalo para di siya mapurga sa hopia at siomai. Sundin mo to, tiyak na lalaglag ang bagang niya sa'yo. Mga medyo more than your usual regalong panligaw:

1. Bili ka ng century tuna. Ilagay mo sa isang napakalaking box, yung sinlaki ng TV o kaya box ng desktop PC mo. Tapos balutan mo ng magarang pambalot. Kuntsabahin mo na yung teacher niya sa Calculus. Sa gitna ng klase, bigla kang kumatok sa classroom. Pero dapat, incognito ka. Magsuot ka ng LBC jacket, magshades, at magsuot ng surgical mask. Pagpasok mo sa classroom, iabot mo yung box sa teacher, at papirmahin mo ng acknowledgement receipt. Tapos pabuksan mo in front of everyone. Tignan mong mabuti ang reaction sa mukha niya.

Later during the day, pag tinanong niya kung bakit Century Tuna ang binigay mo, iikot mo yung lata at ituro mo yung sign na Omega 8. Pag tinanong niya kung ano yung Omega 8, sabihin mo: "Because you're good for my heart."

2. Mangolekta ka ng isang dosenang hanger na libre mong nakukuha tuwing nagpapa-dry clean ka. Tapos, sa bawat hanger, isulat mo: "I miss hanging out with you."

3. Instead of roses, kuha ka ng tissue paper sa banyo ng school mo. Gawin mong tissue paper roses. Gawa ka ng isang dosena. Pag-abot mo, sabihin mo, "Ganito kalinis ang pag-ibig ko sa'yo."

4. Bili ka ng tetra pack ng mantikang Minola. Tapos bilugan mo yung with Omega 8; Hindi na siya magtatanong kung bakit.

5. Bigyan mo ng ice cream cone. Dapat cone lang at walang ice cream. Pag hinanap niya yung ice cream, sabihin mo: "natunaw na kakatitig sa'yo."

6. Bili ka ng sandosenang box ng crayola. Kolektahin mo lahat ng black. Lagay mo sa isang box ng crayola. Sa likod, isulat mo: "Walang kulay ang buhay kung wala ka".

7. Bigyan mo siya ng mumurahing bumbilya. Alam mo na siguro by this time kung ano ang isasagot pag tinanong niya kung bakit.

8. Itext mo siya ng "Hindi tayo tao, hindi tayo hayop, hindi tayo halaman. Bagay tayo. Bagay!"

9. Bigyan mo siya ng calling card ng MMDA. Sa likod, isulat mo, "Para pag nagkabanggaan ang puso natin."

10. Padalhan mo ng Happy Meal pero huwag mong ibibigay yung libreng laruan. Paghinanap niya, sabihin mo: "Ako yung freebie, at ikaw yung meal na nagpapahappy sa'kin."

11. Sunugin ang kanyang bahay at padalhan ng hallmark card: "aanhin mo pa ang bahay mo, kung matagal ka nang nakatira sa puso ko"

12. Pagkatapos sunugin ang kanyang bahay, padalhan siya ng isang box ng posporo, Guitar brand. unahan ang kanyang galit at sabihin, "Ayan ang posporo na ginamit ko sa pagsunog ng iyong bahay, match na tayo"

13. Sa kalagitnaan ng isang malupit na bagyo, pasalubungan sya ng "salbabida", wag payong, o mainit na mami. Pag nagtanong bkt? ang isagot mo ay " Ayaw kong malunod ka sa pag mamahal ko."

14. Pag pumayag na siyang makipagdate, dalhin mo siya sa canteen at huwag bibitawan ang kamay. Pag tinanong niya kung bakit, ituro mo yun sign na "Don't leave your valuables unattended".

Handang Tumulong Lagi,

Bob Ong

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Bitchy Quotes and Bitchy Banat Lines

Bitchy means behaving like a bitch and sounding like irritable, moody and whiny. Bitches are everywhere and you must learn how to deal with them. They are people who tend to be honest or blunt yet quite annoying and irritating. They love silly and naughty talks to an extent that they back-stab a person. But "bitchy"  is just a term and anyone can act like one as long as they know their extent and their limitations of doing such especially when their intention is to screw up a person who did nothing but to break someone else's heart.

Check out for more of Bitchy Quotes and Banat Lines that you would surely love to read.

Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...What was I thinking?

*     *     *     *     *

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your wife.

*     *     *     *     *

How could two people as beautiful you...
have such an ugly baby?

I've always wanted to have someone to hold,
someone to love,
After having met you, I've changed my mind.

*     *     *     *     *

I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

*     *     *     *     *

"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am..
that you're not here to ruin it for me.

*     *     *     *     *

As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've  given me.
Like the need for therapy.

*     *     *     *     *

Thanks for being a part of my life!
I never knew what evil was before this!

*     *     *     *     *

Before you go...
I would like you to take this knife out of my back.
You'll probably need it again.

You look great for your age...
Almost Life like!

*     *     *     *     *

When we were together, you always said you'd die for me
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

*     *     *     *     *

I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend...
So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys.

*     *     *     *     *

We have been friends for a very long time...
What do you say we call it quits?

*     *     *     *     *

I'm so miserable without you...
It's almost like you're here.

*     *     *     *     *

"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...
Did you ever find out who the father was?

*     *     *     *     *

You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship
and there was only one life jacket...
I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

*     *     *     *     *

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday
So we're having you put to sleep.

If you have your own favorite Bitchy Quotes and Bitchy Banat Lines, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or  just email to us with a subject: bitchy and will posted up for you.

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Family Quotes and Sayings Collection

We feature Family Quotes and Sayings Collection, another nuggets of wisdom that tend to put us back on track in remembering family values and never-ending ties with them.

You were once asked a question : Who are the most important people in your life? And the first to cross your mind – your family. You never wish for them and definitely you can't afford to lose them. Your mother, you father, your siblings, they are the ones who know you best and accept you for who you are.  They are the people whom you cherish the most and whom you share unconditional love.

A family is not just a fundamental unit of the society but a perpetual source of inspiration, encouragement, assurance, emotional nourishment and lets the light shine on you. Family means love, understanding, patience, sharing and faith. People from all walks of life need a family to teach and guide them in taking the right path.

It is indeed true that it’s easy to forget about the good times you had with them but at the end of the day as you lie down to your bed, you realize that your family is one of the most wonderful blessings ever given to you.

Share our featured compilation of Family Quotes that will surely motivate and rejuvenate you for a new beginning with a brand new outlook in place.

"Family is like branches on a tree our lives may grow in different directions but our roots will stay as one"

"The greatest memories in your life are your family’s memories. The time that you’re with them and proud to be happy because of their love."

*     *     *     *     *

"Family is one of the sweetest words anyone can say because the letter of family means. Father and mother I LOVE YOU. So love your family."

*     *     *     *     *

"In all reality, you just need the ones that care and love you in the end. Because they will never let you stand in a storm alone."

*     *     *     *     *

"Never take anything for granted. Live life with the people who will never leave you; your family. You can pick your friends but not family, so make the best of it."

*     *     *     *     *

"Family is your circle of life, it’s emotional but all together it’s that kind of love that made you who you are today, embrace and understand it with a much stronger faith."

*     *     *     *     *

"Blood's thicker than water, and when one's in trouble
Best to seek out a relative's open arms."

*     *     *     *     *

"Our family is a circle of strength of love with every birth and every union the circle grows.”

"Being a family means you are a part of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life."

*     *     *     *     *

"I may not have everything I want in life but I have all I will ever need to make my life complete, my family."

*     *     *     *     *

"Having somewhere to go is home, Having someone to love is family, Having both is blessing."

*     *     *     *     *

"Whatever happens to me. Wherever I go, whoever I know. Where ever I live. I will never lose my family or true friends. They will be with me for ever. They will never desert me"

If you have your own favorite Family Quotes and Sayings, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or  just email to us with a subject: family and will posted up for you.

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May Mahal na Siyang Iba Quotes and Sayings

May Mahal na siyang Iba Quotes and Sayings is another great compilation that you can surely relate of. One of the worst feelings in this world is knowing that the one you love is in love with another. But on the other way around, it's so hard to explain why you love a person over the other and at the end of the day you just close your eyes and feel your heart ache. Some of us may have gone through situations when you can't understand why you can't make a person love you back. But most of us went through the worst part of when knowing that it’s over and the only choice you have to take is to let go.

It's so hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does. You can share May Mahal na siyang Iba Quotes and Sayings with people whom you know going through such heartaches.

"Isang gabi...
May nakita akong falling star...
nag wish ako...sabi ko, maging akin ka..
sabi ng falling star..
"sira ka talga, hindi pwede..
"kasi ayun siya, kasama mahal niya."

Famous Grandparents Quotes and Sayings

We adore our grandparents for their never ending love to us. We care for them as much as we do with our parents. Sometimes, they are the ones we can look up to no matter how tall we grew. They never forget to share with us the wisdom they had acquired through the passage of time.

Those are just some of the reasons why Grandparents' Day must be celebrated not just once in a year but every single day and them feel cherished.

Now, it's your turn to express your gratitude for the life lesson. Share with them our endearing collection of Famous Grandparents Quotes and Sayings by Famous People that will surely make their hearts melt.

"What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate."

– Bill Cosby

"What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies."

- Rudolph Giuliani