Funniest Green Jokes That Will Keep You Imagining

Some creative minds had just coined a lot of green jokes that are always funny. Most of them are hilarious and can really make you laugh out loud. From the thermometer joke up to difference between a snowmen and snowwomen, all of those can ease your bad day. These are mostly simple one-liners that can make you think twice before you get it right and secretly, some of these jests can turn you on. Ooops! Don't worry, you’re not the only one.

So if you're bored or looking for something to make your day, then this read is for you. We have collected some of the Funniest Green Jokes That Will Keep You Imagining.

Q: How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?
A: By the taste


Q: How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper!


Q: How is a woman like a road?
A: Both have manholes.

Q: Why will a woman never be the one to propose?
A: As soon as she gets on her knees, he will start unzipping his pants.


Q: Whats long, hard and full of seamen?
A: A submarine


Q: Who was the world’s first carpenter?
A: Eve, because she made Adam's banana stand


Q: Why didn't the Toilet Paper cross the road?
A: It got stuck in a crack


Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
A: Good morning ladies.


Q: What does a woman put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
A: Her ankles.


Q: What do girls and noodles have in common?
A: They both wiggle when you eat them


Q: What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
A: She gagged


Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.


Q: Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children?
A: Because he only comes once a year, and it's down your chimney.


Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.


Q: What is 72?
A: 69 with three people watching


Q: What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
A: Snowballs.


Q: What does in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet?
A: Chewing gum

We know what you're thinking. And you get it right. Well, the doctor is also doing it right. Do you think the Doc is lucky enough? We think so.


Q: What's green and smells like pork?
A: Kermit the frog's finger


Q: What do you call two fat people talking?
A: A heavy discussion


Q: What three words will ruin a man's ego?
A: "Is it in?"


Q: What did the letter O say to Q?
A: Dude, your junk is hanging out.


Q: What's the worst thing about dating a blonde?
A: If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they.


Q: Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?
A: Because Ken came in another box


Q: Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party?
A: Because he wanted to find a tight seal


Q: What do you call an expert fisherman?
A: A Master Baiter

Do you like our feature today? We have more here at www.boybanat.com so stay connected with us. We've got a lot of reads that can bring you serious laughs and can turn your day into good one. If you also want to share your own ideas with us, feel free to Contact Us.

Happy Birthday Quotes and Heartfelt Birthday Messages

It's only once a year. A very special date to remember the moment a person was born. An unforgettable day when parents happily welcomed us after months of waiting. People have different ways of celebrating their birthdays; from throwing a party, dinner date with friends, go for shopping or just having a vacation. Sometimes, we don't just celebrate our birthdays for one day especially when we have a lot of friends and relatives to treat. This may mean you a lot of money to spend but the best part is your happy for another year of your life.

One of the most common way of greetings is sending a birthday message. It's still the best way to somebody know that you care and you never forget his/her special day. If your looking for messages and ideas, we have here Happy Birthday Quotes and Heartfelt Birthday Messages that you can give to a close friend or relative who will be celebrating their birthdays :

My birthday wish for you is that you continue to love life and never stop dreaming. May beauty and happiness surround you, not only on your special day, but always.

*       *       *       *        *

Count the age, not the wrinkles you have.

Count the blessings and wonderful experiences you’ve had,

not the mistakes you’ve made.

We all wish our loved ones not just happiness but also a joyfulness on their special day and on the years to come. We also pray for their success and good health and more blessings to received.

My best friend deserves the best birthday in the world, and my goal is to give it to you. Happy Birthday, and get ready to celebrate! The party starts as soon as we’re together.

*       *       *       *        *

Today, on your birthday, I wish you the warmest love and happiness. May all of your dreams become a reality. But even more than that, may it bring you loads of true love and friendship. Have an Amazing Birthday!

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Because, today is a special day simply sending birthday wishes, wouldn’t do. So I’m sending you a day when all your dreams come true and, a year that means the most to you!

Perfect Crush Quotes For You and For Someone You Like

The most exciting part of being a teenager or a single is having a crush on someone. When you like someone, you tend to do all things just to get notice or just to talk to that person. Everytime you see him/her, you're having a bunch of butterflies in your stomach and when he/she smiled at you it feels like that your blood is rushing to your cheeks and ears. You really can't contain your happiness whenever that person is in front of you but you're clueless of what he is thinking about you. That is really frustrating, isn't it? You actually have this stalker instinct and spend your time staring at them far a far or followed them on their social media accounts and downloaded all their pictures there and post them on your room. Whenever they are with somebody in school or they are just talking with a friend you really get jealous and that's pretty obvious. Actually, you are forgetting that he/she is just your crush and you don't have to feel that way because there is no "us" between you and that person. How many times you tried to be nice as much as you can because you think that it will increase the possibility of him to like you, too?

Sounds desperate, right? Well, no one can blame you for feeling and acting that way. We have here a collection of Perfect Crush Quotes For You and For Someone You Like :

It’s not that we aren’t meant to be together,

think that we’re just not ready for forever.

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Dear Crush, I know that you're looking at me.

I'm not oblivious; I just don't know how to look at you.

*       *       *        *       *

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you.

All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

There were days when you can't sleep for so much excitement knowing that you'll see him again tomorrow morning along the hallway. Those sleepless nights leave you growing bags under your eyes so you try to hide it with concealer. Your crush is the "reason" why you're always excited to go to school. You would love to see him everyday and becomes an inspiration to do better in the class.

I think of you often and I see you in most everyone I meet

*       *       *        *       *

She loves him more then he would ever know,

He love’s her more than he would ever show.

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Love hurts when you break up with someone.

It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you.

But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea what so ever.

OFW Quotes and Messages That Will Etch in Your Minds

Modern Day Heroes. This is how we call our Overseas Filipino Workers (OFW) for so many reasons. They have great contributions to keep our economy afloat through strong remittance inflows to our country. Away from their loved ones; working hard abroad to make a better living; loneliness and homesickness; dealing with cultural differences; these are just some of the sacrifices that our fellow countrymen have to endure. Leaving their homeland in exchange to an opportunity to earn money and be able to provide their families the basic necessities. They toil everyday in foreign lands in hope for a brighter future. Everyone has their own inspiring stories. Their sufferings, may it be physical or emotional is truly priceless.

If you have a loved one working overseas, be proud of them and at the same time respect them. These unsung heroes also deserve the recognition of this generation as they regard they hard work not just an obligation but also an act of love and kindness. We have here some OFW Quotes and Messages That Will Etch in Your Minds :

Being an OFW does not mean an instant or easy money. They really worked hard for it to give their families a better living. They bear the absence of their loved ones when they got home from long day of toiling. So think first before you ask money from an OFW as you never know the hardships they've gone thru to earn it.

OFW is human NOT ATM machine or partner of any Money transfer,

we feel pain, we feel tired...

So please to our loved ones,

We are just not complaining but

Please make a good value in our all sacrifices

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As far as I can see...That's how far I'd like to go.

No dreams will be too hard to reach

If we keep on believing..keep on pushing ourselves

to go the extra mile, to carry the extra load

with a cheerful heart and full trust in the Lord.

Whenever they learn that I work abroad, I know they think of me having a lot of money. What they don’t know is that I never enjoy my pay out because I have to send it right away to my loved ones. Most of the time, the only left for me is hope that everything will be fine soon.

*     *      *      *      *

Please promise me you'll wait for me and still love me

like the day & left all of you to work in another land.

Unfortunately, few overseas workers tend to have an affair abroad as they long for their husbands or wives. They fell into temptation as they hardly can’t resist their manly needs. Loneliness has consumed them so they had sought for someone to fill the absence of their partners. But most of such affairs had lead to having another family while abroad.

In my homeland, my wage is enough.

I try to work abroad so I can earn more money to give to my family with almost nothing left in my pocket. But sometimes I can’t understand why no matter how much I gave them, they still ask for more.

*     *      *      *      *

Many people don’t know how hard to work away from home. You can’t sleep at night because you the thought about your family linger through your mind. You can’t see your children growing and how well they do. Sometimes, telephone calls can’t suffice the day you miss them. Being an OFW entails you to sacrifices.

*     *      *      *      *

I gave up my precious time with my loved ones to take a chance of higher income abroad. The guilt of leaving them is in my heart. But whenever I think of it as an opportunity to give the best for them, I feel motivated.

Do you have relatives working abroad? Send them warm regards. If you also have an inspiring message to share, feel free to Contact Us. Here at www.boybanat.com, we value your thoughts and ideas. Share your own tagalog ofw quotes and keep posted with the latest features by visiting us again.

Sincerest Father's Day Quotes and Messages That Can Touch Their Hearts

He was the happiest man when they finally had you in their arms after several months of waiting. He had taught you how to endure the pain of your first wound as he was silently hurt to see you crying. He and your mom had little arguments whenever he wanted to buy you some toys. During weekends, he would be glad to put you on his shoulders while you're out for a picnic. He bought you your first bike and demonstrates how to ride on it. He told you to be brave enough but never have your feet off the ground. He would always tell you to be thankful for everything you have and don't forget to share. He's always there to protect you and works all day to be able to provide you with all your needs. A man of strength and dignity striving to give the best for his family. The authority in the house. The one expected rule the family and be the better example to his children.

Daddy, Papa, Father, Tatay : these men also deserve your recognition. When was the last time you told them how grateful you are to have them as your father? Have you ever thank them for all their support and guidance? Be inspired with these Sincerest Father's Day Quotes and Messages That Can Touch Their Hearts :

"The most important thing a father can do

for his children is to love their mother."

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A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.

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"A father is indeed more than a thousand of school masters.

He is the idol of each child. Happy Father's Day!"

His family is the father's invaluable source of strength, joy and comfort. He's happy to see his children growing into human being that they are supposed to be. A father is steadfast in his duty to provide his family all their needs and nurtures them with the love they deserve. He plays a very important role in our home and that's being the foundation of it. As he finds his strength and joy from his family, he becomes the fountain of confidence and stability to his wife and children.

"A man who just generates a new life is not a father,

a father is much more than that whish truly cannot be explained in words."

*       *       *       *       *

Dad, I love to keep your guiding hand on my shoulder and always will be

Happy Father's Day Dad!

Bob Ong's Popular and Relatable Quotes to Ponder

Known for his works as a contemporary Filipino author, Bob Ong has been one of the favorites among readers of any aspect of life. His true identity remains a mystery until today but his anonymity spiced up the fact that he is one of the country's best writers. This is something that only few can achieve. What's in his works that will make you love them is the element of humor using conversational Filipino to portray common traditions and cultures in the Philippines.

His books are humorous yet inspirational that he was able to share his insights with wit and depth. The realistic depiction of the characters, true-to-life scenarios, sensible perceptions about life and love and everything under the sun make his works entertaining to read. His literary works are must read and you will definitely learn from them. We have here some Bob Ong's Popular and Relatable Quotes to Ponder :

"If your loved-one doesn't love you, don't complain.

You see, there are also people you don't love but love you...so call it even."

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"If you wait for someone to flirt with you, nothing will actually happen in your life...

You must also initiate the flirting."

*     *     *      *     *

It's just like taking the elevator. Why would you cram yourself in if you know that there is no more room for you. There's always the stairs, you just don't want to acknowledge it.

Yes, it's true. You love someone who's already in love with another and there's one person who has been waiting for you all this time. Well, love triangle is excruciating and really hard to deal with. This situation can make you suffer because you can’t get things exactly the way you want them to. It’s like a roller coaster ride for you and this may take a long one for you.

"Why too much? Could it not be acceptable if we make thank you exactly just right?

It would be such a waste if we can’t use its surplus."

*     *     *      *     *

"Use your heart to care for a person who’s closest to you.

Use your brain to take care of yourself."

That’s how you should do it. These lines can be slap on the face of someone who hurt you. No matter how hard they try, some people can’t just refrain themselves from cheating. Getting betrayed or cheated by the person you love is really painful and it’s a difficult process before you can move on even after the infidelity or a relationship has ended. Once you found out that your boyfriend or girlfriend cheated on you, try to tell this message to them.

"Everybody would take love seriously if they are hit hard.

It's just that not all are strong enough to resist temptation."

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"It's just like taking the elevator. Why would you cram yourself in if you know that there is no more room for you? There's always the stairs, you just don't want to acknowledge it."

If you love someone and he/she doesn't, just let it be.

Who knows that in the following days, you'd come to not like him/her anymore.

It's just a matter of who goes first.

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It's hard to land a role in a person's life,

especially if you are not the protagonist in the script he/she chose.

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Do you know how far the distance is between two people if they've already turn their backs on each other? You have to go around the whole world just to face again that person whom you have given up.

This makes sense. People tend to hold on to their relationships even if they are no longer happy. If you feel that the spark has gone and things will not work out anymore then take the first move. Parting ways could be the best option for the both of you.  Instead of enduring the pain, be brave enough to tell her/him that everything is not the same way it used to be. It could hurt but it will be worth it. Just let it go.

"Let go of the things that hurt you even if they make you happy.

Don't wait for that day when all that's left is the pain,

and the one who makes you happy left you."

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"If you love two people, choose the second one.

It's because you wouldn't fall for another if you really love your first."

*     *     *      *     *

"The ears, if put together shaped like a heart.

Ears are the extension of the heart, so if you know how to listen,

you know how to love."

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"Though not everything you thought is corny, really isn’t.

Sometimes it may be you who has no sense of humor and consistency

because you force yourself into becoming different."

How about you? What’s do you like most about Bob Ong? Which of his books is your favorite? If you have your own collection of Bob Ong's Tagalog Quotes, feel free to share them with us. More avid fans will be glad to read them here at www.boybanat.com and fb.com/akoisboybanat.com, and we will be featuring more. Don’t hesitate to Contact Us.