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Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes

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Here's a extensive collection of the best, funny, naughty and latest Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes made just for you and to share with. If you have your own favorite Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: lasing jokes, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!



Nung tinanong ako ng magulang ko,
“Anong napapala mo sa kaka-inom?”
Tinanong ko rin sila,
“Anong napapala ninyo sa kaka-sermon?” XD

*********   *

Nahuli ni misis si mister na lasing sa club,
kaya nagpanggap siyang GRO. Mrs:”Pogi, gusto mo ko i-table?”
Mr: “Ayoko sa yo, kamukha mo asawa ko!”

*********   *

“Biruin na ang lasing, kahit pa ang bagong gising,
wag lang ang bading na inagawan ng booking.”

*********   *

While drinking with the boss, she challenged,
“Ang ayaw na uminom, bading!” Wanting to go home already,
I told her, “Babu na girl, Suko na akesh!”

*********   *

You know why alcohol is better than milk?
Pangit kasi pakinggan yung, “Tara ‘tol, dede tayo!”XD

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A girl in a bar was offered margaritas, got drunk & was gang-raped.
The next day, not remembering what happened the previous night,
she came back to the same club & was again offered the same drinks.
She said, “Ayoko na ng margarita, masakit sa puk*!”

*********   *

During a drink fest in Tagaytay, my cousin was so drunk that she chased my gay friend shouting, “Halika dito, gagawin kitang lalake!” XD

*********   *

Text exchange between 2 friends:
Ben, the hunk, and Alvin, the gay who was drunk.
Ben: Matagal ko nang tinatago ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo.
Mahal na mahal kita.
Alvin: “Oh my gosh, akala mo ba ikaw lang?
Mahal na mahal din kita, Ben!” (long pause)
Ben: “Pare, wrong send ako.”

*********   *

Two drunks peeing in public toilet, one straight, one gay. Gay was watching straight guy as he peed. Straight: “Pag di ka tumigil, hahampasin kita nito!” Gay: “Promise?” 


Isang girl may nakitang umiihing lasing sa daan.
Girl: “Ano ba yan! Ang daming bulb*l pero ang liit ng t*ti!”
Lasing: “Anong gusto mo, maraming tit* pero maliit ang bulb*l?”

*********   *

Lasing 1: “Pare totoo bang babaeng lamok lang ang nangangagat?”
Lasing 2: “Tanga, pati aso nangangagat!”

*********   *

Lasing 1: Ano nga pala spelling ng orange?
Lasing 2: Alin, yung kulay o yung prutas?

*********   *

Namatay yung kapitbahay namin na drug dealer.
Sa 1st night ng bur0l, may mga dumating na addict na mga lasing.
Biglang lumapit yung isa, sabay yumakap sa kabaong
sabay sigaw ng, “Drug lord, bakit mo kami iniwannn!!!”

*********   *

During an all-girl inuman, one friend complained that only ugly men are courting her. Another friend assured her, “Ganun talaga, kasi yung mga guwapo, sila-sila ang nagliligawan!” 



If you have you own hilarious Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Pinoy Long Distance Relationship Love Quotes and Sayings

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Simple quotes to live by and simple tips to try to have a long distance relationship that works. Here's a collection of the best, romantic and latest Pinoy Long Distance Relationship Love Quotes and Sayings made just for you and to share with and even post it in your facebook or twitter status.  If you have your own favorite Pinoy / Tagalog Long Distance Relationship Love Quotes and Sayingswe would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: long distance, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!


Hindi naman talaga distansya ang nakakasira sa LONG DiSTANCE RELATiONSHiP..
Kundi ang kawalan ng TiWALA at mga MALiNG HiNALA.

**********   *

Dahil sa ikaw ay nasa malayo, may mga gabi na ‘di ako makatulog. Kaya ang
madalas kung ginagawa ay tumingala sa mga bituin sabay bulong sa hangin,
“Kahit magkalayo tayo at wala ka sa piling ko ikaw parin ang laman ng puso’t
isipan ko”.



Check out this video about Long Distance Relationship


Para sa akin kong mahal mo ang isang tao
Walang excuses sa isang buwan na hindi ninyo pag uusap
Ano ka basahan na pag kailangan ng patongan ng kaldero

**********   *

Ang tunay na lalaki, kahit malayo ang mahal niya, hindi niya magagawang
mangbabae. Kahit sabihin pa na maraming umaaligid sa kanya, para sa kanya,
wala ng hihigit pa sa mahal niya.

**********   *

Sa long distance relationship, may chance na ma develop ka sa iba, pero
tandaan: “di ka ma dedevelop sa iba, kung pipigilan mo dahil: Mahal mo ang ka
relasyon mo, at may konsensya ka.

**********   *

Mahirap maging masaya,
lalo na’t malayo ka
Minsan gusto ko ng sumuko at ayaw nang umasa
Ngunit pag-ibig ko sa iyo’y totoo
Kaya naman hinding hindi ko magagawang bumitaw.

**********   *

Huwag kang maiinis o magalit kahit sumusobra na ang pagseselos at paghihinala
sayo ng taong mahal mo..Magtaka ka kung yang selos at hinala niya bigla na
lang mawala at lahat ng ginagawa mo balewala na rin sa kanya.

**********   *

Paglayuin man tayo ng panahon,
wala ka man sa tabi ko ngayon.
Alalahanin mong lagi kang nasa puso ko
at ikaw ang laging laman ng isip ko.



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Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings

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Love is not always drama and romance, Love can be Fun too! Here's a collection of best, funny and latest Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings made just for you and to share in your facebook or twitter accounts.  If you have your own favorite  Quotes about Funny Love Tagalog, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pinoy funny love, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!



Kung wala kang maisip na iregalo sa taong mahal mo
Halikan mo na lang. ?tapos sabihin mo ..
“Kung ayaw mo, ibalik mo na lang.’
Ang pagmamahal ko sa mga EX ko ay parang ulam
namin kanina….UBOS NA!!

*       *       *        *        *

If I get takot, would you hawak me tight?
If I gawa something mali, would you make it right?
If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame?
If I sabi I miss you, would you ramdam the same?

*       *       *        *        *

“Kung araw-araw ko ba namang makikita pag mumukha mo…
Eh di sana…Wala ng malungkot na araw ang dadaan sa buhay ko.”

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Naranasan mo na ba makipag-inuman sa mahal mo?
Yung tipong nalalasing ka na tapos napayakap ka sa kanya
At bumulong sya sa yo..”mahal kita…” nagulat k at nagtanong .. “ano?”sumigaw
sya .. “tagay mo na!”



Ang PAG-IBIG ay parang utot. Kahit anong gawin ay napakahirap itago
At pag-ibinuga mo ang kimkim na damdamin, maaamoy ng lahat
kahit hind ka man umamin! hehehe

*       *       *        *        *

Sana naging damit na lang ako…
Para kahit minsan..
i-try mo kung bagay ako sayo

*       *       *        *        *

Chocolate sana yung bibilhin ko,
Kaso, naisip kita, nagpaload nalang ako..
alam mo kung bakit? chocolate lang naman yun eh
MAS SWEET ka pa dun !

*       *       *        *        *

Kung ayaw mong mainlove ng todo
Ay huwag mo ng susubukang tingnan pa ako,
dahil baka mabaliw ka ng husto!!

*       *       *        *        *

“Yoyo ka ba?
Kasi kahit anong gawin kong pagtapon sayo,
Bumabalik ka parin sa puso ko”

*       *       *        *        *

Dahan-dahan ka sa pagpili
ng MAMAHALIN mo ..
Baka kasi MALAGPASAN mo ako!


If you have you own list of quotes and hugot lines from Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

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Pinoy / Tagalog Cheesy SMS Text Messages

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Here's a extensive collection of best, cheesy, funny and latest Pinoy / Tagalog Cheesy SMS Text Messsages made just for you and to share with.  If you have your own favorite Tagalog Cheesy SMS Text Messsages, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: cheesy sms, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Marunong ka bang sumalo?
Bakit?
Para kasing nahuhulog na ako sayo eh.

**********    *

Badtrip!
Ano bang problema ng hangin?
At hindi ka matangay-tangay papunta sa akin!



Check out also this Pinoy Cheesy Quotes video by Bob Ong


Sana happy meal ka nalang
Bakit?
Para Pwede kitang i-take home

**********    *

sana isda nalang ako at ikaw ang tubig
Bakit?
kasi hindi ako nabubuhay nang hindi kita kasama

**********    *

Sana yelo na lang ako na natutunaw sa bawat pagtitig mo.
Sana telepono na lang ako para balang araw, ako’y may pag-asa na sagutin mo pa

**********    *

miss tuesday ka ba?
bakit?
monday kasi ako at ikaw ang kinabukasan ko.

**********    *

Sana ID na lang kita
Para pag nawala ka
Alam nilang akin ka

**********    *

Sana Diamond na lang ako
Bakit?
Para matawag mo akong mahal

**********    *

Sa tingin ko mawawala ang
pangit sa mundo kapag
kumalat ang lahi mo?

**********    *

Kagabi hindi ako makatulog
Bakit?
Pabalikbalik ka kasi sa isip ko

**********    *

Peanut ka ba?
Bakit?
Kasi PEANUT-tibok mo ang puso ko.

**********    *

Sayo na ang GSiS & SSS ID mo
Basta akin na ang PAG-iBiG mo

**********    *

Si bossing ka ba?
Bakit?
Kasi I love you mwuah mwuah tsup tsup!!

**********    *

Boy: whats your biggest dream?
Girl: mahalikan ang ulan. ikaw?
Boy: maging ulan para mahalikan mo ako

**********    *

Naligo ka na ba?
Bakit amoy akin ka pa din?

**********    *

Ang ganda naman ng pangalan mo
Salamat
Mas gaganda yan kung isasamo yung last name ko.

**********    *

Para kang kanto
Bakit?
Kasi nacorner mo buhay ko.

**********    *

virus ka ba? kung virus k man d kita
hahayaang matanggal kasi mas nanaisin
ko png masira sistema ko kesa mawala ka…

**********    *

Kung pulis ka, magiging snatcher ako..
para lagi mo akong hinahabol.

**********    *

Hindi naman ako criminal pero
bakit dinakip mo na ang puso ko?

**********    *

Girl: Ouch nasugatan kamay ko.
Boy: Akina kiss ko..para mabilis gumaling
Girl:Thanks
Boy: Sa labi ba hindi ka nasugatan?
Girl: Hindi naman. Bakit?
Boy: Para makiss ko din.











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Pinoy / Tagalog Enemy Quotes

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Some people thinks "enemy were the friends you thought you had, until they stabbed you in the back". Here's a collection of best, extensive and latest Tagalog Enemy Quotes made just for you and to share with and even post it in your status wall.  If you have your own favorite Pinoy / Tagalog Enemy Quotes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: enemy quotes, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Ay, pasensiya na! Ordinaryong tao lang ako! Di ako isang diyosa na tulad mo..napakaganda ng itim mong kilikili na sumisilip sa mga braso ng isang wrestler….bagay sa yo ang mga sleeveless at fitting na sinusuot mo. Para kang isang kumakatas na suman Grabe! You are such a babe!

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Ay, hindi! Hindi ka mali! Kelan ka ba naman nagkamali??!! Tama ka lagi! Kaya
sa sobrang tama mo, tamaan ka sana ng kidlat!!!



You can also check out this Public Enemy Quotes video 


Ang mga taong mahilig mag patama o mag parinig ay parang mga taong my BARiL
na magaling lang kumasa , pero di naman marunong TUMiRA NG DiREKTA!

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LINTIK lang ang walang ganti”
at lalong lalo na, “MATA lang ang WALANG LATAY

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Di porque ikaw ang huling nagsalita ibig sabihin nabara mo yung ka usap mo!
Malamang nabababawan lang sila sa yo kaya di ka na sinasagot…o kaya sobrang
walang kwenta tingin sa yo at di ka karapat dapat patulan!

**********   *

Kahit gaano karami ang pera mo...
hindi niyan mababago ang masangsang na pagkatao mo!

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Ay, hindi! Hindi ka mali! Kelan ka ba naman nagkamali??!!
Tama ka lagi! Kaya sa sobrang tama mo, tamaan ka sana ng kidlat!!!

**********   *

Kung mapera ka, bakit di ka bumili ng
bagong mukha maranasan mo man lang gumanda.

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Ang babaeng MABAIT, talo ng MAGANDA.
Ang babaeng MAGANDA, talo ng MA-APPEAL.
Ang babaeng MA-APPEAL, talo ng SEXY.
Pero ang MABAIT, MAGANDA, SEXY at MA-APPEAL … TALO NG MALANDI.
lolz tumpakz!!!

**********   *

Hindi mo kailangan ng beautician,
kailangan mo magician! duhh!

**********   *

Di ko kailangang MAKIPAGTALO para lang MAPATUNAYAN na MATATAG akong tao.
Minsan kailangan ko rin MANAHIMIK di dahil TAKOT ako.Kundi dahil ang MATINONG
tulad ko ay di dapat PUMATOL sa mga taong kaLEVEL ng “ASO!










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Tagalog / Pinoy Funny Call Center Jokes

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Here's a collection funny and humor Tagalog / Pinoy Funny Call Center Jokes which features conversation of a call center agent and a customer. These are for entertainment and fun only and no offense meant to our fellow call center agents.  If you have your own favorite Pinoy /  Tagalog Funny Call Center Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: call center, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Bill
Customer(bisaya): hiillo! wala kasi yung bell ng pon namin???...
CS: Hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?
Customer: Hende naman...
CS: Kailan pa po ito nagsimula?
Customer: Ang alen?
CS: .Na hindi po nagri-ring yung phone?
Customer: Nagre-reng naman ah?!
CS: Di ba wala pong ring?
Customer: Hende! yong BELL!.. yong lestahan nong babayaran namin!!!...
CS: aahhh... yung BILL?!!!
(hende kase nagve-verefie mabote...hahaha)



Check out this Funny Call Center Agent Conversation video



3 Minutes
CS: I w! as hoping you can take this survey with me...Would you have the time to do that, sir?
Contact: How long is this gonna to take?
CS: Mmm.. MGA three minutes....
(Wapak!..napatagalog eh hahahah)

**********   *

Nagulat
Agent was asking the customer about the cost of his cable service:
Agent: Let me just ask you.... How much are paying with your current provider right now?
Customer: Well, I'm only paying $25.00 (--which is way cheaper than what the agent was offering)
Agent: (Surprised) MAGKANO??!!
(Napa-Tagalog eh ahahah)

**********   *

Cat

TSR: It's C as in CAT.
CUST: what?
TSR: C as in CAT. C-A-T... me0w me0w...
(ayuz! very specific na yan ha baka hindi m0 pa magets...)!

**********   *

Slang English
ethernet cord connected???...
Cust: Tha Hwhut??? (with alabama accent)
TS: Yung yellow cord, mheem...
(oh-oow ngee nehmeeennn..)

**********   *

Candy
CS: Thank you for calling... this is Candy, how may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it's Candy...
Cust: Sorry, can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir... Candy... as in Storck!!!
(Sana Cotton Candy na sinabi mo teh.. hahahah...)

**********   *

Bing Bong
Agent verifying info from customer:
Agent: Is that a P for..... (thinking)... Ping-Pong?
Customer: No, it's B.
Agent: Oh, B, like BING-BONG.

**********   *

May Masisi lang
CS Agent: Thanks for calling Dell this is Mary how can I help you?
Caller(irate): I hate Dell! You should stop producing Vista! Vista SUCKS!!!
CS Agent: I do understand where you are coming from, but you see maam Microsoft is the company the created Vista not Dell.
Caller: .... oh (Hangs up)
(May masisi lang...Pahiya ng onti, walang bawe.. Hahaha!..)

**********   *

Spoiled Brat Kid
CS: Thank you for calling .........my name is .........how can I help you?
Caller: My daughter purchase tickets using my CC I want a refund.
CS: I apologize for that inconvenience but all sales are final no refunds or exchanges.
Caller: Well she is a spoil Brat uncontrollable kid what can we do about that?
CS: Im sorry ma'm but I'm afraid I can't help you with that maybe you can try a Juvenile Correctional Facility.HANG UP.
(Hahaha..UU nga bakit hindi mo Itali anak mo teh hahah)










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