Pinoy Funny Jokes and Tagalog Funny Jokes

Here's a collection of Pinoy Funny Jokes and Tagalog Funny Jokes.  If your have your own favorite Pinoy Funny Jokes and Tagalog Funny Jokes, we would love to hear it, add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: funny pinoy. Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!

Tuition Fee

Alam mo yung feeling na hawak mo,
pero alam mong hinding hindi magiging sa'yo.
-Tuition Fee

*      *     *     *     *

Killer: Father mangungumpisal po ako.
Father: ano ba kasalanan mo???
Killer: pumatay po ako ng 20 katao.
Father: BAkit??
Killer: kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos… kayo po ba naniniwala??
Father: Dati, pero ngayon trip-trip lang.
Lolang Emo
"Isang araw habang nanunuod ako tumabi sakin ang lola ko...
ang haba ng buhok at itim na itim ang damit parang malungkot at may hawak na kutsilyo...
KINABAHAN ako.....
nag-isip ako....
nagsalita sya....
sabe......
"apo, bagay ba sakin ang EMO?"

Pamasahe

Sa Isang Jeep
Pasahero: Mama, magkano po yong pasahe?
Driver: 8 pesos yong minimum.
Pasahero: (Dumukot ito sa bulsa para kunin yong pera niya, ngunit sa 'di sinasadyang dahilan kulang yong pamasahe niya.) Patay, kulang 'tong pera ko. Paano kaya ito? (Nag isip ito at lumingon sa driver. Napansin niya na duling ito. Sabi niya sa kanyang sarili, tama duling 'tong driver sigurado 'pag nagbigay ako Ng 3.50 di diya mapapansin na kulang 'tong pera ko, kasi doble 'yong paningin nito. Inabot niya sa driver 'yong pera.
Ngunit laking gulat niya nong may sinabi 'yong driver sa kanya.
Driver: Kulang ito!
Pasahero: Anong kulang? Di ba sabi mo 7peso 'yong minimum?
Driver: Oo nga 8 pesos. Eh! Dalawa kaya kayo.

*      *     *     *     *

Holdaper na Mabait

Holdaper: Holdap to! Akina laman ng pitaka mo.
Biktima: Pasensya na po walang laman ang pitaka ko e.
Holdaper: Ganoon ba? Paano yan?
Biktima: Kung gusto niyo po kukuha muna ako sa bahay tapos balikan ko na lang kayo dito.
Holdaper: O sige. Aantayin na lang kita dito. Bumalik ka na lang pag may laman na yang pitaka mo. Buti na lang mabait ako.

*      *     *     *     *

Bestfriend

Boy: tandaan mo lahat ng sasabihin ko dahil importante ito
Girl: ok ano ba sasabihin mo?
Boy: mahal na mahal kita lagi mo tandaan na andito lang ako lagi sa tabi mo!!!
Boy: ano natatandaan mo ba?
Girl: (kinilig) ah oo naman
Boy: good pakisabi sa besfriend mo ha!!

Grade

tatay: anak!! anong itong F sa card mo ha!!

anak: (nag-iisip) tatay Fasado po ibig sabihin niyan

tatay: Ahh akala ko Ferfect!!

*      *     *     *     *

Madamot

Juan: Oys, ano yan? Pinya? Pahingi naman dyan.

Pedro: Pahingi? Nasaan ka noong nagbubungkal ako ng lupa sa ilalim ng init ng araw? Nasaan ka noong nagtatanim ako habang kumukulog, kumikidlat at

bumubuhos ang malakas na ulan? Nasaan ka noong oras na nag-aani ako na nagkalat ang maraming ahas sa dadaanan ko, noong naghihirap ako sa pagpasan ng pinya? Nasaan ka?

Juan: Nakakulong kasi ako noon! Nakapatay ako ng madamot!

Pedro: Ganun ba?

Kuha ka na, kahit ilan!

May langka pa doon!

*      *     *     *     *

Lab ako ni Tatay

ANAK: 'Tay! Sino mas mahal mo, ako o si nanay?

TATAY: Syempre ikaw anak...

ANAK: Kaya pala kapag madaling araw,

ako po ay kinukumutan niyo

at si nanay naman po ay

hinuhubaran niyo...

sweet niyo talaga 'tay, a lab u....

*      *     *     *     *

Sekyu

Airforce: "No guts, No glory!"

Marines: "No retreat, No surrender!"

Army: "No pain, No gain!"

Naks ayaw patalo ang Security Guards: "No I.D, No entry!"

*      *     *     *     *

Lasing

Isang lasing nasalubong ang matabang babaeng may aso...

Lasing: Hoy, san mo nakuha 'yang baboy?

Babae: Aso ito hindi baboy!

Lasing: Wag kang sumabat! 'Yong aso ang kausap ko!

If you have you own Tagalog Funny Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Tagalog Jeepney Jokes

Tagalog Jeepney Jokes is a collection of jokes about jeepney drivers and passengers that we usually see on our day to day living. Jeepneys or public utility jeepney (PUJ) or simply jeep is the common and the cheapest means of transportation here in the Philippines and probably most of us have experienced the ride. If not then maybe your a rich kid or you've got the money to a more convenient ride. There's so many situations that we encounter whenever we ride a jeep and these can be wonderful or something bad that eventually become part of our daily struggle on the road. The best part of it is that you'll able to see different kind of people who will either make you smile or annoy you.

But in this selection you will probably relate and drive you to quick memory of an experience you had while riding a jeep. Read through these Tagalog Jeepney Jokes to start up your day and know more about the kind of passengers that you can get along with.

MEDYO HIGH BLOOD
Drayber: San ang baba?
Pasahero: Sa gitna ng kalsada. Para patay ako tapos kulong kayo.

*     *     *     *     *

MEDYO EMO
Drayber: Ilan dito sa 20?
Pasahero: Isa lang. Wag niyo na din sanang itanong kung bakit. Sanay na ako na palaging iniiwan. Kaya nasanay na rin akong mag-isa. Keep the change.

ERAP Jokes Collection

Erap Jokes Collection is a feature about the comic character and funny jokes conversation of Erap with the other people and personalities. Erap Jokes are very popular on TV, tabloid and even today in social media networks, blogs and website. Did you know that Joseph "Erap" Estrada, is a former Mayor of San Juan City, a Senator and the former President of the Philippines. He's the first one to be elected as President and Vice-President. Now, He is currently the Mayor of the City of Manila. Here's the funny and the best Erap Jokes Collection that you'll surely laugh on it. Hope your enjoy it!

CARABAO
Teacher: Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?
Erap: Carabao, ma’am!
Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?
Erap: How about another Carabao?

*     *     *     *      *

KLASMEYT
Classmate 1: What is 5 plus 4?
Erap: Eh di 9!
Classmate 2: What is 4 plus 5?
Erap: Gagaguhin mo pa ako eh binaligtad mo lang... eh di 6!

MILF
ERAP to MNLF : Sumuko na kayo!
MNLF: Di kami susuko pag di mo maispel ang CEASEFIRE.
ERAP : s#3t! Tuloy ang giyera.

SAFE SEX
Nag-usap sina FVR at Erap sa sexual practice nila.
FVR: Naniniwala ka ba sa safe sex?
ERAP: OO naman, sinisigurado ko na wala ang mga asawa
nila kapag ginagawa ko yon.

*     *     *     *      *

WRISTBAND
Erap taking a bath nang biglang lumindol. He ran outside the Beverly Hotel without his clothes on.
Guard: Mr. President! I think you forgot something…
Erap: What the F*#! Yung wristband ko!

*     *     *     *      *

SOFDRINK
Tanong: Ilan litres meron ang Coke 2000?
Erap: Apat!
Tanong: Ha?
Erap: LITRE C, LITRE O, LITRE K, LITRE E!! 'anga!

*     *     *     *      *

SIGNAL LIGHT
Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light
(as driver switches on the parking light)
Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)
Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin?
(as driver switches on the signal light)
Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw…

*     *     *     *      *

LUNCH
After finishing the main course at lunch meeting with Clinton.
Erap is asked if he would like another serving.
Erap replies politely: “No thank you. I’m fed up already.”

*     *     *     *      *

CHIPPY
Ramos: Erap, why do you cry while eating Chippy? And why do you shed your tears on the wrapper?
Erap: Because it says here on top "Tear here"

*     *     *     *      *

WALEY
Sa isang French resto kasama si Jinggoy:
Sabi ni Erap: “Anak, magpa-va-let na lang tayo.”
Jinggoy: “dad val-ey parking po.”
Nang nasa loob na ng resto:
Erap: “ayan mag-buff-et tayo anak.”
Jinggoy: “dad, it’s buff-ey.”
Matapos kumain at magbabayad na:
Erap: “naku anak, nakalimutan ko sa car ang
aking wall-ey!”

*     *     *     *      *

ALLIGATORS
In a cabinet meeting ERAP (galit na galit) :
"THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF ALLEGATIONS THESE DAYS AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO THE "ALLIGATORS' ARE"!

*     *     *     *      *

8 FEET
Friend: Pareng Erap may regalo ako sa b-day mo phyton ang haba grabe 8 feet.
Erap: ako ba niloloko mo hindi ako tanga no, alam kong walang paa ang ahas 8 feet ka pa dyan. Tanga!

*     *     *     *      *

SEAFOOD
Erap & Gloria having a conversation:
Gloria: Salamat at nagkabati na tayo sa wakas
Erap: Oo nga, dahil dyan i-treat kita sa paborito kong restaurant
Gloria: Saan?, ano b paborito mong mga pagkain?
Erap: Hulaan mo nagsisimula s letter "C"
Gloria: Calamares?
Erap: No.
Gloria: Cakes? Calamansi?
Erap: Mali lahat.
Gloria: Sirit na nga!
Erap: Edi C-Foods (Seafoods)

*     *     *     *      *

AIRPLANE
Steward: Sir are you done?
Erap: No, I'm Erap
Steward: I mean are you finished sir?
Erap: No, I'm a Filipino
Steward: i mean are you through?
Erap: What do you think of me FALSE?

Erap Jokes Collection is NOT to intend to take anything serious to any individual  but these are exaggerations and not close to reality. These are collected from other websites, blogs and social media sites. So if you have your own favorite Erap Jokes out there, you can simply post it here.

• other search terms about erap jokes:
• tagalog erap jokes
• funny erap jokes
• erap jokes 2014
• manny pacquiao jokes
• funny aling dionisia jokes 

Vice Ganda Funny Jokes

Catch the Vice Ganda Funny Jokes by one of the well-known and one of the funniest comedian in the world of Phillippine Showbiz - Vice Ganda. Here's a collection of Vice Ganda Funny Jokes. If your have your own favorite  Vice Ganda Funny Jokes , we would love to hear it, add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: vice ganda. Enjoy! Hope you'll like it!

Vice Ganda sa Opisina

Vice Ganda: Pasok mo nga dito yung mga papeles ko..
Secretary: Sir saan ko ipapasok , dito sa loob"?
Vice: Hinde sa labas, ipasok nga diba.pwede bang ipasok sa labas, sige nga subukang mong ipasok doon sa labas

ito pa isa:

Kararating lang sa opisina
Secretary: Hi. good morning po Sir nandito na po pala kayo.
Vice: Hinde wala pa, picture ko lang toh, hindi pa ako to.

Reporter: Pagkatapos ng nose to nose ano naman pauusuhin mo?
Vice Ganda: Habulan saksak..ikaw uunahin ko...Keri? Joke :)

Reporter: Anong course mo nung college?
Vice Ganda Ganda: Automotive Major in Troubleshooting

Reporter: Ano ang ginagawa mo pag Sunday?
Vice Ganda: Nag aantay ng MONDAY...

Vice Ganda Holdap

Holdaper: Holdap to!
Vice Ganda: And so? Walang nagtatanong.
Holdaper: SABI NG HOLDAP TO!
Vice Ganda: so dapat pinagsisigawan?
Holdaper: Holdap nga to!! Holdap! Holdap!
Vice Ganda: Paulit-ulit? Unli tayo?
Holdaper: di ka tatahimik papatayin kita!
Vice Ganda: ano to, kalokohan? Akala ko holdap tapos patayan na? Ano to, 2 in 1?
Special o regular?
Holdaper: Bahlaa ka, Aalis na lang ako!
Vice Ganda: Ay ganun? Walk out? Di pa tayo tapos! Bumalik ka dito!

************   *

Vice Ganda in Restaurant

Vice papuntang Fastfood
Vice: (Umupo)
Waiter: Gud afternun po! Kakain po kayo?
Vice: Hindi, magluluto, tutulungan ko chef nyo.. Kakahiya naman nakiupo ako dito tapos hindi pa ko tutulong.. Bilis na.. Gusto mo tulungan pa kita sa mga customers nyo.. Tapos aasenso business nyo.. Edi masaya, di ba? Umunlad na kayo, nagutom pa ko.. Ang galing noh?

************   *

Patay Tatay

Vice Ganda: umiiyak sa harap ng kabao ng tatay
dumating si bestfriend, hinimas-himas yung likod ni vice bestfiend: uy, okey ka lang?
Vice Ganda: ikaw loka ka, patayin ko tatay mo? okey ka lang!!!!
Vice Ganda: loka ka tatay ko nasa kabao, tapos tatanungin mo ko kung okey ka lang!!!

************   *

Vice Ganda Jeep Trip

Binaba siya sa gitna
Vice mabundol ng isa pang jeep…
Manong2: Nasaktan ka ba?
Vice Ganda: (naasar) Ay hindi, nag-enjoy ako. Ulitin natin, bunguin mo pa. Isa pa! Dali! Ang sarap kasi! Nakabundol ka tapos itatanong mo kung masakit? Ikaw kaya bundulin ko? Tapos i-share mo skin feelings mo, kaya na-enjoy mo, sige magbungguan tayo. Laruin natin, ipauso natin, bunggu-bungguan.

************   *

Vice Ganda sa Park

Vice Ganda nakaupo sa park.. Walang nakaupo sa ibang upuan..
Manong: Pwede po bang umupo dito?
Vice Ganda: Hindi, tinatalunan yan.. Nakikita mo di ba, ang daming nakaupo.. Mamaya tatalunan ko yan.. Tapos sabay nating gagawin.. Sama na rin natin yung mga dumadaan.. Para mukha tayong mga baliw lahat.. Bilis na, simulan mo na..Maya-maya lang susunod ako.

************   *

Vice Ganda with Fan
Fan: Siguro ang yaman yaman mo na
Vice Ganda: Sana madilang anghel ka....

Fan: Ano gamit mo papunta sa CEBU?
Vice: ROLLER BLADES

Fan: Ang layo ng Pangasinan sa CEBU
Vice Ganda: Ang layo din ng IQ mo sayo lapitan mo siya dali

Fan: Kaya mong magroller blades papuntang Pangasinan?
Vice Ganda: Backride lang ako..Joke Jokes Jokes

If you have you own Vice Ganda Funny Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For more reads, just log on to www.boybanat.com or visit Boy Banat Official Facebook  (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat) Page for the latest features.

Incoming terms: vice ganda jokes quotes, vice ganda jokes new, vice ganda jokes tagalog, vice ganda jokes, vice ganda funny jokes quotes 

Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings

Love is not always drama and romance, Love can be Fun too! Here's a collection of best, funny and latest Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings made just for you and to share in your facebook or twitter accounts.  If you have your own favorite  Quotes about Funny Love Tagalog, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pinoy funny love, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Kung wala kang maisip na iregalo sa taong mahal mo

Halikan mo na lang. ?tapos sabihin mo ..

“Kung ayaw mo, ibalik mo na lang.’

Ang pagmamahal ko sa mga EX ko ay parang ulam

namin kanina….UBOS NA!!

*       *       *        *        *

If I get takot, would you hawak me tight?

If I gawa something mali, would you make it right?

If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame?

If I sabi I miss you, would you ramdam the same?

*       *       *        *        *

“Kung araw-araw ko ba namang makikita pag mumukha mo…

Eh di sana…Wala ng malungkot na araw ang dadaan sa buhay ko.”

*       *       *        *        *

Naranasan mo na ba makipag-inuman sa mahal mo?

Yung tipong nalalasing ka na tapos napayakap ka sa kanya

At bumulong sya sa yo..”mahal kita…” nagulat k at nagtanong .. “ano?”sumigaw

sya .. “tagay mo na!”

Ang PAG-IBIG ay parang utot. Kahit anong gawin ay napakahirap itago

At pag-ibinuga mo ang kimkim na damdamin, maaamoy ng lahat

kahit hind ka man umamin! hehehe

*       *       *        *        *

Sana naging damit na lang ako…

Para kahit minsan..

i-try mo kung bagay ako sayo

*       *       *        *        *

Chocolate sana yung bibilhin ko,

Kaso, naisip kita, nagpaload nalang ako..

alam mo kung bakit? chocolate lang naman yun eh

MAS SWEET ka pa dun !

*       *       *        *        *

Kung ayaw mong mainlove ng todo

Ay huwag mo ng susubukang tingnan pa ako,

dahil baka mabaliw ka ng husto!!

*       *       *        *        *

“Yoyo ka ba?

Kasi kahit anong gawin kong pagtapon sayo,

Bumabalik ka parin sa puso ko”

*       *       *        *        *

Dahan-dahan ka sa pagpili

ng MAMAHALIN mo ..

Baka kasi MALAGPASAN mo ako!

If you have you own list of quotes and hugot lines from Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Incoming search terms: funny love quotes tagalog, cute love quotes funny, funny tagalog quotes about love, wedding gowns at divisoria, tagalog sweet love quotes, funny quotes about love tagalog, best tagalog love quotes

Pinoy Husband and Wife Jokes

Being married is a big responsibility. And with these responsibilities, we create stress and quarrels between husband and wife. We cannot escape the scenario where the husband and wife gets into a fight. They may sound funny sometimes because they tend to say things that they did for the sake of love. It is often that husband and wife also quarrel about the salary or who is going to pay the next bill. Check out these Pinoy Husband and Wife Jokes that will definitely make you relate if you have your husband or wife.

Mister: Nag beerhaus ako! Ang P200 binayad ko sa beer Misis: Bakit kulang ang sweldo mo ng isang libo?
Mister: Ang P800, binigay ko sa dancer kasi alang damit, awang awa ako!

**********   *

Si Mister umuwi ng lasing:
Misis: Naglasing ka nanaman!!! palagi na lang kapag lasing ka, naasar ako sa mukha mo!!!
Mister: Kung hindi naman ako umuwi ng lasing, ako naman ang maasar sa mukha mo!!!

**********   *

Home version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire:
Husband: dear puede ka ba ngayon?
Wife: di puede pagod ako!
Husband: is that final?
Wife: FINAL!!!!
Husband: ok, can i phone a friend?!?

Husband: ano ang pagkain natin?
Wife: nasa mesa, bahala ka na pumili!
Husband: isang pirasong tuyo?ano pagpipilian ko?
Wife: pumili ka kung kakain ka o hindi!

**********   *

Wife: bat gabi ka na?
Husband: sensya na, nag aya mga officemates ko, nagkainuman lang...
Wife: Lasing ka no?!
Husband: Hindi!
Wife: anong hindi? Wala ka naman trabaho, pano ka nagkaron ng officemates?

Mag Asawang Bagong Kasal

Misis:Labs, may maganda akong balita sayo..malapit na tayo maging tatlo sa bahay na 'to..
Mister:Talaga, Labs?Wow. Ako na yata ang pinakamasayang tao sa mundo!
Misis: Buti naman at ganiyan ang nararamdaman mo.Dito na titira ang nanay ko!

**********   *

Daddy: Mommy, ang ganda ganda ng anak natin galing ata yan sa iyo ang angkin niyang kariktan!
Mommy: Huh!, paano nangyari iyun eh hindi naman ako ganun kaganda? (kilig kilig)
Daddy: yun na nga eh, wala ng natira sa iyo, nasa anak na natin lahat!

**********   *

Mister: Honey nakukunsyensya ako,dapat ko ng ipagtapat ito sa iyo.
Misis: Honey okay sa akin,mahal naman kita.
Mister: Honey alam mo,kapag nagseseks tayo,iba ang pinapantasya kong babae.
Misis: A ganon ba!???Eh honey ikaw naman ang nasa isip ko kapag kaseks ko ang ibang lalaki!!

**********   *

Meron Mag asawa nag- aaway:
Mister: mas ok pa yata kung nagpakasal ako sa demonyo!!!
Misis: wehhhh! bawal kaya magpakasal sa kamag- anak.. hehehe

**********   *

Isang gabing malamig.. kalabit c Mister kay Misis.
Misis.: not tonight dear, I have an appointment with my OB bukas, dyahi pag may sperm in me.
Mister. : Kalabit uli.... eh sa dentist may appointment ka?

If you have your own collection of Tagalog Jokes, feel free to share it in the comment box. You can also react and share these funny jokes at your social media acount. Stay updated to Pinoy Funny Jokes here at www.boybanat.com and Like our Facebook page  (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Ngongo Funny Jokes

Ngo Ngo Funny Jokes is a vast collection of funny people who are speaking nasally with a touch of  funny lines. This NOT to make fun to any individual who are with physical deformity but those one who speaks in a muffled way or slang for an ignorant person. To understand more, why not check out this list of Ngo Ngo Funny Jokes that are worth to share with your friends:

Ngongo humiling sa Genie.
Ngongo: Gusto ko maging pongi!
Genie: Matutupad!
Ngongo: Bakit may ngiwa at muhok ang mukha ko?
Genie: Akala ko gusto mo maging poki

*     *     *      *     *

(Si Ngongo ay pumunta sa isang tindahan para bumili ng soda.)
"Mabili nga o nang Mebsi." Ang sabi niya.

"Anong sabi mo?", ang tanong ni Mang Gaston na siga ng lugar.
"Meb-si! Meb-si!", sigaw ni Ngongo.

"Aba at huwag mo 'kong sisigawan", ang galit ni Mang Gaston at sinakal niya si Ngongo. "Anong gusto mong bilihin h*y*p ka?"

"Ngok, ngok", hindi makahinga si Ngongo.
"Eh Coke lang pala, hindi mo masabi ng mahusay."

Tagalog Yaya and Maid Funny Jokes

Here's a extensive collection of best, funniest and latest Yaya and Maid Funny Jokes.  If you have your own favorite Funny Yaya Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: yaya and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Kuya: Yaya! Bakit namatay ang aso?
Yaya: Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap.
Kuya: Nakamamatay ba yun?
Yaya: Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na.
Yaya buys food at McDo.
Yaya: Value Meals please
Crew: Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?
Yaya: Puwede sa table?

*     *    *     *     *

My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio
Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
Ma'am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!

(Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
Kuya: Yaya!
Yaya: Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!
Kuya: Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!
Yaya: Si Koya naman!nagsa-suggest lang!
Kid: Yaya look, boats!
Yaya: Those are not boats, They are yachts
Kid: Yaya, spell yachts?
Yaya: You're Right, They are BOATS.

Sir: Inday, si Sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko, I need cash!
Inday: Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?
SIR: Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!
INDAY: Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin! Kapkeyk!

*     *    *     *     *

Mom: Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!
Yaya: Ano po lulutuin ko?
Mom: It's up to you
(During dinner) Mom: Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?
Yaya: Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
sabi niyo, kitsup and tuyo!

*     *    *     *     *

Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor's office.
Doc: Bottlefed?
Woman: Brea - stfed po.
(Doctors squeezes woman's breasts repeatedly)
Doc: Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh.
Woman: Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!


*     *    *     *     *

The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten
She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor
Yaya: Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!

*     *    *     *     *

Yaya: Huhuhu!
Ate: O, bakit ka umiiyak?
Yaya: Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!
Ate: Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat?
Yaya: Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi.
Ate: O, bakit ka di makatulog?
Yaya: Kasi po may pinoproblema ako
Ate: Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?
Yaya: Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!

*     *    *     *     *

Sir: Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?
Yaya: Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!
Sir: Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?
Yaya: Gunting, kuya! Gunting!

*     *    *     *     *

(Earlier) Mom: Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!
(Later) Son: Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?
Yaya: Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!

*     *    *     *     *

Ate: O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?
Yaya:Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!
Ate: Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?
Yaya: Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong Ligs!

*     *    *     *     *

Yaya to tricycle driver: Magkano sa City Hall?
Driver: Ikaw lang?
Yaya: Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?

Other search terms:

• pinoy yaya joke
• maid jokes 2014
• funny maid jokes
• yaya jokes by boybanat.com
• tagalog conyo jokes

Tagalog Pick-Up Lines and Pinoy Pickup Lines

Looking for the new and cheesy tagalog pick lines? bookmark this page as we features the Tagalog / Pinoy Pick Up Lines to share with.  Here's a collection of  Tagalog Pick-Up Lines and Pinoy Pickup Lines  and if you have your own favorite Tagalog Pick Up Lines, we would love to hear it, add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: tagalog pick up. Hope you'll like it!

Kung nagugutom ako at kelangan ko ng isang taong makakapagpabusog sa akin,
pwede ba kitang lapitan at sabihin..
"Pakagat naman kahit sa labi man lang."

Boy: Alam mo miss baka paalisin ka dito
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Pumapangit ibang babae pag andito ka eh.

*********   *

Para kang alak..
bakit?
Kasi habang tumatagal lalo kang sumasarap.

*********   *

Boy: Miss, ikaw ang Lupang Hinirang ko…
Girl: Alam ko na yan, sasabihin mo tinatayuan ka no?
Boy: Hindi, handa akong…Mamataaaay ng daaahiil sayooooooo(singing)

*********   *

Boy: “Alam mo ok ka sana eh, maganda ka, matalino, pero may kulang sa pangalan mo eh.”
Girl: “Ano?”
Boy: “Apelyido ko…”

*********   *

Boy: Miss di ka ba napapagod?
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Kasi takbo ka ng takbo sa isip ko..

Boy: Can i strip your clothes off?
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Because I want to know how angels hide their wings.

*********   *

Boy: Kahit kailan hindi na ko iinom! Goodbye alak!
Girl: Really? Magbabagong buhay ka na?
Boy: Hindi ah, bakit pa ko mag aalak, eh sayo pa lang ang lakas na ng tama ko.

*********   *

Boy: hi…. can i be your textmate?
Girl: I got your number from heaven,
Boy: you’re an angel in disguise right?

*********   *

Boy: Here let me tie your shoe laces?
Girl: Why?
Boy: so you won’t fall for anyone else

*********   *

Boy: Para kang Oatmeal
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Coz’ you’re good to my heart ..

*********   *

Boy:if i were to rearrange the alphabets,
Girl: Bakit
Boy: I would put “U” and “I” together.

*********   *

Boy:May band-aid ka miss?
Girl: Bakit?
Boy:Nahulog kasi ako eh… Nahulog ako sayo.

*********   *

Boy: Parang flag ceremony parati ang drama ko pag napapadaan ka
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Napapatigil ako.  Napapahawak pa ako sa puso ko at napapakanta.

If you have you own Tagalog Pick-Up Lines, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook.

Incoming search about pick up lines: pinoy pick up lines, corny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, romantic pick up lines, funny pick up lines, cute pick up lines, sweet pick up lines, pick up lines about love

Tagalog Funny Break-Up Lines and Pinoy Funny Breakup Banat

Looking for funny tagalog effective way of breaking up? Nice to drop by as we give you the best and effective Tagalog Funny Break-Up Lines and Pinoy Funny Breakup Banat for you to share with. If you have your own favorite Tagalog Funny Break-Up Lines, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: breakup banat, and will posted up for you. For entertainment purpose only and hope you'll like it!

Break na tayo! kasi...
Hindi ka mayaman,
Hindi ka gwapo at hindi ka matalino...
(brutal! Nyahaha!)

**********   *

Girl: sawang sawa na ako sayo..you're always like that.
pagod na ako..itigil na natin ito
Boy: hindi ka na makakapaghanap ng tulad ko tandaan mo yan.
Girl: shut up! you think maghahanap pa ako ng tulad mo!

You can also check out this Pinoy Break Up video

Boy: I want to focus on my studies
after 2 days my girlfriend na pala ang Bugok,
classmate pa niya, focus nga!

**********   *

(Boy to his GF)
Boy: "Ayoko ko na sa 'yo"
Girl: "What?"
Boy: "Type ko ang kuya mo."

**********   *

Girl: "May ipagtatapat ako sa 'yo...
(nagboses lalaki) Bro, di na tayo talo."

**********   *

You better dump me before I lop your d1ck off
and feed it to my pet piranha!

**********   *

Boy breaking up to a girl...
Boy:  "I'm Gay.."

**********   *

Break na tayo! kasi...
"May AIDS ako...XD

**********   *

Break na tayo! kasi...
aahm.. it's not you.. it's your face..XD

**********   *

Tapusin na natin to.di tayo sexually compatible
di mo masabayan ang libog ko...nyahaha!XD

Incoming search terms: pinoy breaking-up banat , banat breakup jokes, latest breaking up banat, parinig quotes, tagalog quotes about break-up, funny banat about breakup tagalog version, break na tayo jokes

Corny Tagalog Pick Up Lines and Pinoy Corny Pickup Lines

Some Pinoy Pick Up Lines are sweet and a big hit, some are crazy one, but this collection of pick up lines is unique coz it's a quite "corny".  Check out this collection of Corny Tagalog / Pinoy Pick Up Lines on the web. If you have your own favorite  Pinoy Corny Pick Up Lines, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: corny pickup. Hope you'll like it!

Boy: Babe, Amo ba kita?
Girl: Hindi, Bakit?
Boy: Bakit inaalila mo ang puso ko?

********   *

Boy: Hon, Kung didiretsuhin ko ba to...
Girl: Ha?
Boy: Diretso ba to sa puso mo?!

********   *

Boy: Beh, Centrum ka ba?
Girl: Ha! Bakit?
Boy: Kasi, you make my life complete!

Boy: Honey, Ibibili kita ng salbabida mo kasi...
Girl: Bakit naman?
Boy: malulunod ka sa pagmamahal ko.

********   *

Boy: Alam mo, ako ang "SCIENCE"
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: ikaw ang "LAB" ko

********   *

Boy: Meron ka bang eraser?
Girl: Wala eh, bakit?
Boy: hindi kasi kita mabura sa isip ko.

********   *

Boy: Kumakain ka ba ng asukal?
Girl: Uu naman, Bakit?
Boy: Ang tamis kasi ng ngiti mo saken.

********   *

Boy: May MMDA ba rito?
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Kasi nagkabanggaan puso natin!

********   *

Boy: Sa La Salle ka ba nag-aaral?
Girl: No. Why?
Boy: Kasi tinuhog mo ang puso ko!

********   *

Boy: Pokemon ka ba?
Girl: ha, Bakit?
Boy: kasi I CHOOSE you!

********   *

Boy: Teleserye ka ba? 
Girl: Bakit naman?
Boy: Ang sarap mo kasing subaybayan eh!

********   *

Boy: Asthma ka ba?
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Kasi you take my breath away.


********   *

Boy: Para kang isang pustiso..
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: I can't smile without you.

********   *

Boy: Kuto ka ba?
Girl: Bakit naman?
Boy: Kasi I can't get you off my head.

********   *

Boy: Miss, mekaniko ka ba? 
Girl: Hindi, Bakit?
Boy: Kasi, ikaw na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay ko.

********   *

Boy: Miss, pwede ka bang maging side-car?
Girl: Ha, Bakit?
Boy: Single kasi ako.

********   *

Boy: May lahi ka bang keyboard?
Girl: Bakit?
Boy: Type kasi kita

If you have you own version of  Corny Tagalog Pick Up Lines , feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For more reads, just log on to www.boybanat.com or visit Boy Banat Official Facebook  (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat) Page for the latest features.

Searches related to corny tagalog pick up lines: corny quotes, pinoy corny jokes, tagalog corny jokes, new corny pickup lines, pinoy corny love quotes, tagalog corny love quotes, quotes about corny pickup

Pinoy Inday Jokes and Banat ni Inday

Inday is the famous 'kasambahay' of all. She's funny and sometimes compulsive. Her way of speaking and how she thinks makes her a box of laughing jokes. We Filipinos always relate her to our daily lives. She's always present in a servant-master scenario that has been very prevalent in our country. Here are some Pinoy Inday Jokes and Banat ni Inday that will definitely make your day a little brighter and funnier.

Beggar

Amo: inday, may pulubi s gate,paalisinn mo nga..
Inday: Right away!
Inday to Beggar: hey you putrid-smelling beggar with the diverse ambiance of scented junk that assails everybody’s nostrils & carbon free lungs, please go away now!
Beggar: What?! Who do you think you are?!You pathetic trying hard nanny! how could you, a social climber & very low grade mammal, underestimate a high-class beggar like me? what the  hell with u!
Inday: nakakasakit kana ah! mam oh,ayaw umalis oh..hehe!

**********   *

Inday caregiver

Isang araw, nagulat ang amo dahil bumalik ang naglayas na si Inday.
Amo: Inday! Bumalik ka rin! Bakit?
Inday: I care about my job, Sir. I care about you!

**********   *

Amo: Inday, ba't umiiyak ka?
Inday: Sabi po ng doktor tatanggalan daw ako ng butlig..
Amo: Butlig lang iiyak ka na?!!

Inday: Okay lang kung right lig o lep lig lang, kaso but lig eh!

**********   *

Phone Bills

Tatay: Laki ng PLDT bills dito sa bahay. i don’t use this phone naman, i use my office phone.
Nanay: Same here. I use my work phone.
Anak: Me too, i use my company phone.
Inday: So what’s the problem? We all use the phone in our work, di ba?

**********   *

Puyat si Inday

Inday: Walang hiyang kang lalaki ka pinuyat mo ako kagabi
Dodong: Bakit ano ba ginawa ko
Inday: Nagsasalita ka ng mga pangalan ng mga babae merong Tina, Marie, Rose etc.ect.etc
Dodong: So ano ngayon, ano kinalaman ko sa pagkapuyat mo
Inday: Hinihintay ko kc banggitan mo pangalan ko eh

**********   *

Bukol

Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo,
nakitang me bukol si junior.
Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: (nosebleed) T_T

Chop Suey

sa isang sikat na restaurant..

Waiter: Ano po order nila, ma'am, sir?
Amo: whole roasted chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano order mo?
Inday: I would like to partake of a dish sauteed pork and chicken boiled in thick essence of soy sauce & veggies, like carrots, cauliflower, and baguio beans.  Sprinkled generously with fine spices and spring onion, generously helping of rootcrop and rice!
Amo: bigyan mo raw ng chopseuy 'tong abnormal na 'to! lagyan mo marang vetsin nang mamatay na!

**********   *

Tumawag si Pacquiao

(Pacquiao’s calling)
Inday: Gunaydin! (Good morning in Turkish)
Pacquiao: Hilow! Is Mr. Montinigru ober dir? I want to jas know ip can he be here to

catch me in di ring por di fight? I can be winning. Im not to be in di lose.
Inday: ha? (nosebleed)
-na knockout sa Inglis ni Manny! Sa wakas natalo rin si Inday.

Echoserang Inday

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ngbahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke,at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?
Inday: I believe that my trained skills andexpertise in management with the use of standardtools, and my discipline and experience willcontribute significantly to the value of thework that you want, my creativity, productivityand work-efficiency and the high quality ofoutcomes I can offer will boost the workprogress.
Amo: (nosebleed) T_T

Funny, right? Keep the light atmosphere up by staying tuned to more tagalog jokes here at www.boybanat.com and if you have a Facebook account please like our Facebook page  www.fb.com/akosiboybanat so you can enjoy more!

Tagalog Motivational Quotes and Pinoy Motivation Sayings

Tagalog Motivational Quotes and Pinoy Motivation Sayings is a composition of motivational quotes intended to encourage readers to pursue our life’s dreams. When you truly want success, you’ll never give up on it. No matter how bad the situation may get and you'd do whatever it takes to achieve your goals.

But there are times in our life when we feel like on the verge of giving up especially when situations gets tough. Remember what Thomas Edison did? He tried to light thousands of bulb and failed in every trial. But he never gave up until he finally got the working one.

Failure is just a delayed success. We just have to be optimistic and be ready to face rejections and failure. Success comes from hardships and successful people has their own story. 

Here's Tagalog Motivational Quotes and Pinoy Motivation Sayings to empower you as you strive for the best:

Hindi mo na kailangan ng ibang tao para magkusa ka, kung gusto mo talagang magtagumpay, sapat na yung ikaw mismo ang magkusa para sa ikabubuti mo.

Ang mga problema ay hindi hadlang sa pag-abot ng mga pangarap, ito ay mga gabay lamang.

*     *     *     *     *

Lahat ng problema nasusulusyunan, kailangan mo lang tumayo at harapin yung mga bagay na dapat dati mo pa hinarap.

*     *     *     *     *

Ang tunay na sikreto sa tagumpay ay pagsisikap at patuloy na pagbangon sa bawat pagkakamali.

*     *     *     *     *

Ang bawat kabiguan sa buhay ay paraan para patuloy kang magpursigi kahit na sa tingin mo naabot mo na lahat ng yong mga pangarap

Lahat ng bagay, pinaghihirapan. ‘Di matamis ang tagumpay kapag walang paghihirap na naranasan.

*     *     *     *     *

Mangyayari ang lahat ng gusto mo kung patuloy kang maniniwala. Kailangan mo lang ng pananalig at lakas ng loob na magagawa mo lahat ng nanaisin mo

*     *     *     *     *

Ang pinakamalaking pagkakamali na maaaring gawin ng isang tao, ay ang patuloy na isipin na gagawa siya ng mali.

*     *     *     *     *

Nakadepende ang pagiging maligaya sa buhay hindi sa kung anong meron ka, kundi sa kung ano ang pananaw mo sa mga bagay-bagay.

*     *     *     *     *

Ang negatibong tao ay nakakakita ng problema sa bawat pagkakataon. Ang positibong tao ay nakikita ang pagkakataon sa bawat problema.

If you have your own favorite Tagalog Motivational Quotes and Pinoy Motivation Sayings, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: Motivation, and will posted up for you.

Other search terms:

• pinoy motivation quotes tumblr
• english tagalog motivational quotes
• tagalog inspirational quotes 2013
• pinoy motivation quotes about life
• boybanat.com motivational quotes
• motivation jokes

Pinoy Funny Wrong Grammar and Tagalog Sablay na Grammar

Here's a extensive collection of the best, funny and latest Pinoy Funny Wrong Grammar and Tagalog Sablay na Grammar made just for you to share with.  If you have your own favorite Tagalog Funny Wrong Grammar, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: sablay grammar, and will posted up for you. By the way, this for entertainment only, hope you'll like it!

“Get the most of both worlds.”
“Well well well. Look do we have here!”
“One of these days is not like the other.”
"Can you repeat it once again?"
"Mukhang haggard-looking."
"Do you have more brighter ideas?"
“Let’s give them a big hand of applause.”
“You want to have your cake and bake it too.”
“The more the manyer.”
“So… what’s a beautiful girl like you?….

Check out also this Pinoy English Jokes video on youtube

“It’s a no-win-win situation.”
"Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait"
"What happened after the erection of Mayon Volcano?"
“That’s what I’m talking about it.”
“What are friends are for?”
“Burn the bridge when you get there.”
“What is the world is coming to?”
“You’re barking at the wrong dog.”
“Anulled and void.”
“Mute and academic.”
“Base-to-base casis.”
“My answers have been prayered.”
“The feeling is actual.”
“For all intense and purposes.”
“Are you sure ka na ba?”
“Can’t you just cut me some slacks?”
"Nothing in this world is perfect except the word “change”
“It’s a blessing in the sky.”
“Right there and right then.”
"You!!! You’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!"
"Out of fit ako these days eh…"
“Please me alone!”
‘It’s as brand as new.”
“So far, so good, so far.”
“Time is of the elements.”
“Forget it about it.”
“Give him the benefit of the daw.”
“First and for all.”
"Come, lets join us!"
"Bring down the house down!"
“Now and there.”
“I’m only human nature.”
“The sky’s the langit.”
"I’m the world champion of the World"
"Beneath the Belt"
"Rule of Hand…"
"Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top"

Trivia:
Did you know that Most Filipinos understand, write and speak English, Tagalog and their respective languages. English language is one of the two official languages of the Republic of the Philippines.

Incoming search terms: funny pinoy grammar, tagalog wrong grammer signs, pinoy funny bad grammar, funny pinoy grammar tumblr, tagalog grammar booboos, funny signs from all over the philippines

The Best Tagalog Love Quotes for Valentines Day 2021

Make your Valentine’s day a “An Extraordinary day”. Say your boundless love to your partner by sending this enchanting love quotes created by Boy Banat. These Valentine's Day quotes will be the excellent thing to comfort you express all the innervation you have that might not be so effortless to put down in words. 

Check out this selection of 2021 Best Tagalog Love Quotes for the Valentines Day that can get your understanding or feelings across thoroughly. This may help you to  let them know just how you feel especially for this season of love.

"Masakit magmahal pag-iisa ka lang.

masakit magmahal ng taong may mahal ng iba.

Pero alam mo, may masakit pa dun.

Yung iiwan ka sabay sabi: Sorry, akala ko mahal kita, siya pala."

Di ba sinabi ko sayo noon pa na gusto kita?

Pinaramdam ko rin sayo na kelangan kita diba?

Isang araw tinabihan pa kita at sinabing,

“alam mo, mahal kita” pero sabi mo naman…

“kaw talaga nagpapatawa ka ba?!”

"Ang pakikipag-relasyon ay tanda ng pagmamahalan,

hindi yan biro para gawin mo lang libangan."

"Hindi sa lahat ng panahon ay may taong

laging nandiyan para unawain at intindihin ka.

Kaya kung sino man ang tao na iyon sa buhay mo:

Paka-ingatan mo siya."

"Paglayuin man tayo ng panahon, wala ka man sa tabi ko ngayon.

Alalahanin mong lagi kang nasa puso ko at ikaw ang laging laman ng isip ko."

"Ang pagmamahal ay para sa dalawang tao lang,

ewan ko ba kung bakit may mga malalanding di-marunong magbilang."

"Mag ingat sa PANG IIWAN.

Hindi lahat ng tao.

NABABALIKAN."

"Huwag ka maghanap ng taong makakaintindi sayo.

Ang hanapin mo yung taong kahit hindi ka naiintindihan..

hindi ka pa rin iniiwan."

"Masarap alagaan ang relasyon kahit na alam niyong hindi perpekto,

pero ramdam niyo sa isat’isa ang pagiging kuntento."

"Nagpopost ng pinaka magandang pic sa FB

at umaasang makakuha ng magmamahal sau?

Tandaan!"

"Dapat humanap ka ng taong

handang tanggapin lahat ng iyong kapintasan,

hindi lang ang iyong kagandahan."

"Sa pag-ibig, hindi mahalaga ang nakaraan kundi ang kasalukuyan.

Mas matimbang ang karanasan kaysa sa sakit na pinagdaanan.

Ang tanging magpapatatag ditoay kapatawaran

at hindi ang pagsumbat sa kasalanan."

"Piliin mo yung taong handang hawakan ang kamay mo anuman ang sitwasyon. Siya kasi yung taong handang iparamdam sayo na kahit hindi na maganda ang nangyayari hinding hindi ka niya bibitawan."

"Minsan sumigaw ako ng ayaw ko ng magmahal.

Pero nung nakita kita napasigaw ulit ako ng joke lang yun."

Wag kang matakot magkamali,

pwede ka namang magsisi sa huli.

"Part of Life" yan.

Hindi ko naman kailangan ng perfect person na magmamahal sa akin.

Kailangan ko lang ng taong magpapadama sa akin

na kahit anong mangyari hinding hindi niya ako iiwan.

If you have you own Best Tagalog Love Quotes for this Valentines Day, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For more reads, tagalog jokes and latest memes just visit us on www.boybanat.com or like us Boy Banat Official Facebook Page (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).