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Showing posts sorted by date for query tagalog jokes. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query tagalog jokes. Sort by relevance Show all posts

ERAP Jokes Collection

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Erap Jokes Collection is a feature about the comic character and funny jokes conversation of Erap with the other people and personalities. Erap Jokes are very popular on TV, tabloid and even today in social media networks, blogs and website. Did you know that Joseph "Erap" Estrada, is a former Mayor of San Juan City, a Senator and the former President of the Philippines. He's the first one to be elected as President and Vice-President. Now, He is currently the Mayor of the City of Manila. Here's the funny and the best Erap Jokes Collection that you'll surely laugh on it. Hope your enjoy it!

CARABAO
Teacher: Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?
Erap: Carabao, ma’am!
Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?
Erap: How about another Carabao?

*     *     *     *      *

KLASMEYT
Classmate 1: What is 5 plus 4?
Erap: Eh di 9!
Classmate 2: What is 4 plus 5?
Erap: Gagaguhin mo pa ako eh binaligtad mo lang... eh di 6!



MILF
ERAP to MNLF : Sumuko na kayo!
MNLF: Di kami susuko pag di mo maispel ang CEASEFIRE.
ERAP : s#3t! Tuloy ang giyera.


SAFE SEX
Nag-usap sina FVR at Erap sa sexual practice nila.
FVR: Naniniwala ka ba sa safe sex?
ERAP: OO naman, sinisigurado ko na wala ang mga asawa
nila kapag ginagawa ko yon.

*     *     *     *      *

WRISTBAND
Erap taking a bath nang biglang lumindol. He ran outside the Beverly Hotel without his clothes on.
Guard: Mr. President! I think you forgot something…
Erap: What the F*#! Yung wristband ko!

*     *     *     *      *

SOFDRINK
Tanong: Ilan litres meron ang Coke 2000?
Erap: Apat!
Tanong: Ha?
Erap: LITRE C, LITRE O, LITRE K, LITRE E!! 'anga!

*     *     *     *      *

SIGNAL LIGHT
Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light
(as driver switches on the parking light)
Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)
Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin?
(as driver switches on the signal light)
Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw…

*     *     *     *      *

LUNCH
After finishing the main course at lunch meeting with Clinton.
Erap is asked if he would like another serving.
Erap replies politely: “No thank you. I’m fed up already.”

*     *     *     *      *

CHIPPY
Ramos: Erap, why do you cry while eating Chippy? And why do you shed your tears on the wrapper?
Erap: Because it says here on top "Tear here"

*     *     *     *      *

WALEY
Sa isang French resto kasama si Jinggoy:
Sabi ni Erap: “Anak, magpa-va-let na lang tayo.”
Jinggoy: “dad val-ey parking po.”
Nang nasa loob na ng resto:
Erap: “ayan mag-buff-et tayo anak.”
Jinggoy: “dad, it’s buff-ey.”
Matapos kumain at magbabayad na:
Erap: “naku anak, nakalimutan ko sa car ang
aking wall-ey!”

*     *     *     *      *

ALLIGATORS
In a cabinet meeting ERAP (galit na galit) :
"THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF ALLEGATIONS THESE DAYS AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHO THE "ALLIGATORS' ARE"!

*     *     *     *      *

8 FEET
Friend: Pareng Erap may regalo ako sa b-day mo phyton ang haba grabe 8 feet.
Erap: ako ba niloloko mo hindi ako tanga no, alam kong walang paa ang ahas 8 feet ka pa dyan. Tanga!

*     *     *     *      *

SEAFOOD
Erap & Gloria having a conversation:
Gloria: Salamat at nagkabati na tayo sa wakas
Erap: Oo nga, dahil dyan i-treat kita sa paborito kong restaurant
Gloria: Saan?, ano b paborito mong mga pagkain?
Erap: Hulaan mo nagsisimula s letter "C"
Gloria: Calamares?
Erap: No.
Gloria: Cakes? Calamansi?
Erap: Mali lahat.
Gloria: Sirit na nga!
Erap: Edi C-Foods (Seafoods)

*     *     *     *      *

AIRPLANE
Steward: Sir are you done?
Erap: No, I'm Erap
Steward: I mean are you finished sir?
Erap: No, I'm a Filipino
Steward: i mean are you through?
Erap: What do you think of me FALSE?



Erap Jokes Collection is NOT to intend to take anything serious to any individual  but these are exaggerations and not close to reality. These are collected from other websites, blogs and social media sites. So if you have your own favorite Erap Jokes out there, you can simply post it here.

Ngongo Funny Jokes

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Ngo Ngo Funny Jokes is a vast collection of funny people who are speaking nasally with a touch of  funny lines. This NOT to make fun to any individual who are with physical deformity but those one who speaks in a muffled way or slang for an ignorant person. To understand more, why not check out this list of Ngo Ngo Funny Jokes that are worth to share with your friends:

Ngongo humiling sa Genie.
Ngongo: Gusto ko maging pongi!
Genie: Matutupad!
Ngongo: Bakit may ngiwa at muhok ang mukha ko?
Genie: Akala ko gusto mo maging poki

*     *     *      *     *

(Si Ngongo ay pumunta sa isang tindahan para bumili ng soda.)
"Mabili nga o nang Mebsi." Ang sabi niya.

"Anong sabi mo?", ang tanong ni Mang Gaston na siga ng lugar.
"Meb-si! Meb-si!", sigaw ni Ngongo.

"Aba at huwag mo 'kong sisigawan", ang galit ni Mang Gaston at sinakal niya si Ngongo. "Anong gusto mong bilihin h*y*p ka?"

"Ngok, ngok", hindi makahinga si Ngongo.
"Eh Coke lang pala, hindi mo masabi ng mahusay."

Tagalog Random Jokes and Pinoy Favorite Random Jokes

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Random Jokes and Pinoy Favorite Random Jokes is a vast collection of funny, green and the best filipino jokes that really expand over the social networks and websites.  Did you know that it's common for other Filipino to laugh at or make fun of one scenario or that really catch his attention. See some funny pinoy clips here at this post. 

Enjoy our Tagalog Random Jokes that are worth to share with your friends:

Anak: " Dad, totoo po ba na may multo?"
Dad: "Anak walang multo! Kalokohan lang yun. Bakit mo naitanong?"
Anak: "Sabi po kasi ni yaya me multo!"
Dad: "Anak, wala tayong yaya!"

*     *    *     *     *

Sabi ng sosyal na Ipis kay Inday:
"Don't you dare hit me with that magazine you are holding!"
Inday: "Avah, and why not you dirty land-dwelling anthropod?"
Ipis: "Because only Havaianas touches my skin. Who touches yours?"

Banat ng Tamad

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Banat ng Tamad is a library of Pinoy funny quotes and jokes about laziness and being sluggish. Lazy people tend not to take chances, but rather express themselves by making diverting excuses. Sometimes those excuses are  use to crack jokes in movies and comedy series and instead of feeling mad, you'll find yourself smiling because you earned an idea to reason out whenever you don't feel like doing anything.

Well, being lazy sometimes is great and here's Banat ng Tamad compilation to help you reason out :

Hindi ako Tamad!
Hindi ko lang Alam kung saan ko ilalaan ang kasipagan ko! XD

*     *     *     *     *

Di bale ng Tamad!
Di naman Pagod! XD

*     *     *     *     *

Sa sobrang dami kong pangarap sa buhay...
Tinatamad na akong abutin silang lahat! XD



Hindi naman ako tamad
Sadyang masipag lang ako magpahinga


Ang batang masipag paglaki katulong
Ang batang tamad syempre boss
kaya lahat tayo maging tamad
Mabuhay ang mga Tamad! XD

*     *     *     *     *

Kung may gagawin ka ngayon...
wag mo na ituloy...
Sige ka, wala ka ng gagawin bukas! XD

*     *     *     *     *

Walang taong tamad, unmotivated lang! XD

*     *     *     *     *

Hindi ako tamad...
Ayoko ko lang mapagod! XD

*     *     *     *     *

Hindi ako Tamad,
Nagpapahinga lang ako.....bago Mapagod!

*     *     *     *     *

Pag ba sinabing Tamad, Ako ng agad...
Di ba pwedeng yung nag-uutos muna! XD

*     *     *     *     *

Sorry, nung umulang kasi ng kasipagan..
Nagpayong Ako! XD



If you have your own Banat ng Tamad, feel free to share it with us. It's a great opportunity to have them posted here.

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Tagalog Yaya and Maid Funny Jokes

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Here's a extensive collection of best, funniest and latest Yaya and Maid Funny Jokes.  If you have your own favorite Funny Yaya Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: yaya and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Kuya: Yaya! Bakit namatay ang aso?
Yaya: Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap.
Kuya: Nakamamatay ba yun?
Yaya: Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na.
Yaya buys food at McDo.
Yaya: Value Meals please
Crew: Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?
Yaya: Puwede sa table?

*     *    *     *     *

My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio
Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
Ma'am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!



(Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
Kuya: Yaya!
Yaya: Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!
Kuya: Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!
Yaya: Si Koya naman!nagsa-suggest lang!
Kid: Yaya look, boats!
Yaya: Those are not boats, They are yachts
Kid: Yaya, spell yachts?
Yaya: You're Right, They are BOATS.


Sir: Inday, si Sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko, I need cash!
Inday: Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?
SIR: Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!
INDAY: Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin! Kapkeyk!

*     *    *     *     *

Mom: Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!
Yaya: Ano po lulutuin ko?
Mom: It's up to you
(During dinner) Mom: Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?
Yaya: Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
sabi niyo, kitsup and tuyo!

*     *    *     *     *

Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor's office.
Doc: Bottlefed?
Woman: Brea - stfed po.
(Doctors squeezes woman's breasts repeatedly)
Doc: Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh.
Woman: Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!


*     *    *     *     *

The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten
She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor
Yaya: Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!

*     *    *     *     *

Yaya: Huhuhu!
Ate: O, bakit ka umiiyak?
Yaya: Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!
Ate: Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat?
Yaya: Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi.
Ate: O, bakit ka di makatulog?
Yaya: Kasi po may pinoproblema ako
Ate: Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?
Yaya: Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!

*     *    *     *     *

Sir: Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?
Yaya: Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!
Sir: Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?
Yaya: Gunting, kuya! Gunting!

*     *    *     *     *

(Earlier) Mom: Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!
(Later) Son: Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?
Yaya: Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!

*     *    *     *     *

Ate: O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?
Yaya:Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!
Ate: Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?
Yaya: Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong Ligs!

*     *    *     *     *

Yaya to tricycle driver: Magkano sa City Hall?
Driver: Ikaw lang?
Yaya: Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?



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Dear Crush Banat and Pick-up lines

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Dear Crush Banat and Pick-up Lines is a colorful compilation of banat and pick-up lines for your dearest crush. You also had that unexplainable feeling when you are attracted to someone who is a really special one. There's so much you've wanted to tell to that person. You had a time when you can't help but to imagine that you're together. It's more than a feeling of liking someone but less than love.

When you have crush on someone the best way to find release is to vent it all out and tell that person everything you long kept in yourself. Let our Dear Crush Banat and Pick-up Lines help you out and somehow ease the feeling of hiding your secret admiration :

Dear Crush, kung ini-SMALL ka nila
huwag kang mag-alala, inii-BIG naman kita.

*     *     *    *    *

Dear Crush, alam mo yung salitang "MANHID"?
IKAW yun.

Tagalog Motivational Quotes and Pinoy Motivation Sayings

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Tagalog Motivational Quotes and Pinoy Motivation Sayings is a composition of motivational quotes intended to encourage readers to pursue our life’s dreams. When you truly want success, you’ll never give up on it. No matter how bad the situation may get and you'd do whatever it takes to achieve your goals.

But there are times in our life when we feel like on the verge of giving up especially when situations gets tough. Remember what Thomas Edison did? He tried to light thousands of bulb and failed in every trial. But he never gave up until he finally got the working one.

Failure is just a delayed success. We just have to be optimistic and be ready to face rejections and failure. Success comes from hardships and successful people has their own story. 

Here's Tagalog Motivational Quotes and Pinoy Motivation Sayings to empower you as you strive for the best:

Hindi mo na kailangan ng ibang tao para magkusa ka, kung gusto mo talagang magtagumpay, sapat na yung ikaw mismo ang magkusa para sa ikabubuti mo.



Ang mga problema ay hindi hadlang sa pag-abot ng mga pangarap, ito ay mga gabay lamang.

*     *     *     *     *

Lahat ng problema nasusulusyunan, kailangan mo lang tumayo at harapin yung mga bagay na dapat dati mo pa hinarap.

*     *     *     *     *

Ang tunay na sikreto sa tagumpay ay pagsisikap at patuloy na pagbangon sa bawat pagkakamali.

*     *     *     *     *

Ang bawat kabiguan sa buhay ay paraan para patuloy kang magpursigi kahit na sa tingin mo naabot mo na lahat ng yong mga pangarap




Lahat ng bagay, pinaghihirapan. ‘Di matamis ang tagumpay kapag walang paghihirap na naranasan.

*     *     *     *     *

Mangyayari ang lahat ng gusto mo kung patuloy kang maniniwala. Kailangan mo lang ng pananalig at lakas ng loob na magagawa mo lahat ng nanaisin mo

*     *     *     *     *

Ang pinakamalaking pagkakamali na maaaring gawin ng isang tao, ay ang patuloy na isipin na gagawa siya ng mali.

*     *     *     *     *

Nakadepende ang pagiging maligaya sa buhay hindi sa kung anong meron ka, kundi sa kung ano ang pananaw mo sa mga bagay-bagay.

*     *     *     *     *

Ang negatibong tao ay nakakakita ng problema sa bawat pagkakataon. Ang positibong tao ay nakikita ang pagkakataon sa bawat problema.


If you have your own favorite Tagalog Motivational Quotes and Pinoy Motivation Sayings, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: Motivation, and will posted up for you.

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Donya Ina Quotes and Jokes

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Dona Mother Quotes and Jokes is another compilation of amusing and striking commentaries from now a well-Received " Social Media Momster "aka Dona Mother who earned an instant popularity through Bubble Gang's newest segment you and Mother . Lady Dona played superbly by Michael Jackson is now hitting the social networking sites Facebook and Twitter Such as. Probably created this character to tell us that not all trending activities are especially good at all When you're not in the Appropriate place or time to do it right. Such are some of the disturbing selfie, duck-face, taking pictures of everything and excessive hashtags.

So here's Dona Mother Quotes and Jokes to remind us of how we Should enjoy the advantages and the disadvantages of not consider social media: 

Grades
Children,
I know you're smart. But why should you try posting all grades to wall on Facebook? Do pagpost brains contribute to the grades you on Facebook? Not yet satisfied, you have tagged classmates you, to praise you and envy you.

What kaartehan and conceit that?
Please explain. Labyu.
Dona Mother



FIRST COMMENT
Children,

I found the comment on the status of your friends, "First to comment". Sure you receive one diploma nyan?

Please explain. Labyu!
Dona Mother

*****

Braces
Children,
I know you already braces. But that does not mean you're beautiful nun ha? You just Nagmukha PIRANHA.

I Naexplain! Labyu!
Dona Mother

*****

Teary EYED
Children,
I saw you on FB picture you smiling and teary eyed more and more that quote "I'm smiling. But I'm dying." What kagagahan that?

Please explain. Labyu!
Dona Mother

*****

Sleepiness
Children,

Why do you still awake? Yung read the way you post: "I also visited the duration of dormancy!" What madness ie nak? Wild climber ever drowsiness during long now and you kelangan visit?

Please explain. Labyu!
Dona Mother



You can check out Bubble Gang You and Mother segment 


FANSIGN
Children,

What Do Yung nanaman status updated? "WHO WANTS FANSIGN?". Speaking earlier turned seselfie you with a paper with the name of the imaginary fans like? I just inquisitive. Celebrity you? What is it about fansign picture? Children, that you turn a blind. Did not you see? So many people would have you fansign. If you are feeling you're semi Ann Curtis. Push ahead Eh we just that! I also call that photographer photoshoot you can and practice we EDSA billboard Yung fansign you. 

Please spamming! Love You!
Dona Mother

*****

SEXY
Children,
Status to read, "The SEXY I really do." Not sexy son, you just skinny. What the iinambisyosa 'to?

Please explain. Labyu!
Dona Mother

*****

ONLINE CONTEST
Children,
News I join nanaman an Online Contest. Likes Paramihan the Picture. To get candidates to run in elections. Peer busy people time you like a picture of you. Patu Do you Sendan nmana and I am more of you. "Please turn Picture palki LIKE me!" What madness that? Beautiful you nyan?

Please spamming! Love You!
Dona Mother

*****

ABS
Children,
Many like to lalike the picture you do not see the abs you in the face? Yung true gygym did you or did phophotoshoot? What the handsome fefeeling nanaman ba?

Please spamming! Love You!
Dona Mother

*****

Congressman
Children,
Why when naglike status or picture kelangan you all appreciate you? What are you? Congressman?

Please explain! Labyu!
Dona Mother

*****

PLEASE "LIKE"
Children,
What you chinat Yung in my view, "Hello guys, please like my profile picture. Thanks!" What pagmamaganda again 'to?

Please explain. Labyu!
Dona Mother


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Vice Ganda Funny Tagalog Quotes and Jokes

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Vice Ganda Funny Tagalog Quotes and Jokes is composed of Tagalog quotes and wholesome jokes from comedian/singer Jose Marie Viceral well-known as Vice Ganda.

Vice Ganda has once again proven that he is “unkabogable!” through his distinguish style of cracking jokes and the way he has coined various phrases such as "i-Dawn Zulueta mo ako" and "May nagtext".

The multifaceted performer has paved the way to a new brand of comedy that has become part of the local pop culture of the Filipinos. Laughter is, indeed, the best medicine and Vice Ganda Funny Tagalog Quotes and Jokes is a collection that will surely make you roll and laugh out loud.

(Vice papasok sa isang Pool)
Vice: Magkano Kuya?
Sekyu: yung Entrance po?
Vice: Ay hindi hindi?! Yung Exit
Diba papasok palang ako XD

Mga Manyak na Banat and Banat ng mga Manyakis

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Check out this extensive collection of funniest, naughtiest and the latest Manyak na Banat and Banat ng mga Manyakis by Boy Banat. This is also a funny and naughty conversation of Boy Banat and Girl Banat. If you have your own favorite Manyak na Banat, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: manyak na banat, and will posted up for you. For entertainment purpose only and hope you'll like it!

Boy Banat: Miss manok kba??
Girl Banat: Baka kabastusan na naamn yan!
Boy Banat: Limliman mo nmn itlog ko oh XD

***************************

Boy Banat: Ice cream ka ba?
Girl Banat: Why?
Boy Banat: Kasi gusto kita dilaan..XD

***************************

Boy Banat: Miss para kang palay na dinurado..
Girl Banat: Really?
Boy Banat: Yup, ang sarap mo cgurong bayohin...XD

Boy Banat: Miss, sana nging pinto ka nlang.
Girl Banat: Ha? Bakit nman?
Boy Banat: Para pwede kitang pasukan at labasan..XD


Boy Banat: Miss alam m pra kang sports car.
Girl Banat: ha? duh!
Boy Banat: Kc ang sarap mong sakyan!

***************************

Boy Banat: Miss Plywood ka ba?
Girl Banat: Bakit?!
Boy Banat: Pwede ka ba'ng lagariin? XD

***************************

Boy Banat: Miss para kang lolipop
Girl Banat: baket naman?
Boy Banat: Kasi ang sarap mo lap lapin XD

***************************

Boy Banat: alam mo, para kang ketchup.
Girl Banat: bakit? kasi mapula lips ko?
Boy Banat: hindi. kasi hinahanap ka lage ng hotdog ko.XD

***************************

Boy Banat: pwede ko bang ipasok ang pagmamahal ko sa butas ng iyong pag-ibig?
Girl Banat:katakot ka naman, salita pa lang nakabubuntis na..XD

***************************

Boy Banat: Miss, para kang ilong!
Girl Banat: ha! Baket?
Boy Banat: pede b kitang kalikutin?..XD

***************************

Girl Banat: Hey ulan ka ba?
Boy Banat: baket?
Girl Banat: you make me wet eh..XD

***************************

Boy Banat: Miss mesa ka ba?
Girl Banat: Ha?
Boy Banat: Gusto kasi kitang patungan eh..XD

***************************

Boy Banat: Ms. are you a boxer?
Girl Banat: Why?
Boy Banat: Maybe you can give me a couple of blows..XD

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Tagalog Mother's Day Quotes and Pinoy Happy Mother's Day Sayings

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Check out our collection of inspiring, warmest, and the best Tagalog Mother's Day Quotes and Pinoy Happy Mother's Day Sayings by www.boybanat.com for you and to share with. If you have your own favorite Tagalog Mothers Day Quotes and Sayings, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pinoy mothers, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Alam ko kung gaano mo kami kamahal
kaya nga isinuko mo ang lahat maging ang iyong mga sariling kagustuhan
para lang maaruga mo kaming lahat. Masaya ang buhay namin dahil sa iyo!

--------------------------

Ang magaspang mong palad ay tand
 ng iyong kasipagan sa pag-aasikaso sa amin.
Ang iyong pawis at magulong buhok
ay tanda ng sakripisyo na iyong laan sa aming kabutihan.

--------------------------

Espesyal na araw na ito na para sa iyo, ikaw naman ay maupo,
magpahinga sandali at ikaw ay aming aasikasuhin.
Maligayang Araw ng ating mga Inay!


Pag-aalagang walang kapantay…
Pagmamahal na walang hinihintay na kapalit…
Pang-unawang hindi masusukat…
Maraming Salamat Sayo, Mama.
Ikaw ang number one!


----------------------------------------------------
Salamat sa pagpapanatili ng liwanag sa ating tahanan. Ang buhay ngating pamilya ay masaya dahil sa iyo. Ipagdiwang natin ang araw na ito!
----------------------------------------------------

Hindi man magara ang iyong damit,
o hindi ka man nakapustura ng todo,
wala ka mang korona o mga alalay sa tabi mo,
ikaw pa rin ang mananatili at nag-iisang Reyna ng tahanang ito!

--------------------------

Sa lahat ng sakripisyo…
Sa lahat ng pag-aaruga…
Sa lahat ng pagmahal…
Tunay na walang makapapantay sayo.
Maligayang araw ng mga Inay!

If you have you own Tagalog Mother's Day Quotes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).



Cheating Quotes and Sayings

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Cheating is a choice, not a mistake, and If you're not happy in a relationship, Don't cheat you can just leave. Check out this latest, best and extensive collection of Cheating Quotes and Saying. If you have your own favorite Cheaters Quotes or Messages, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: cheating, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Cheating is never okay.
There is no justification for it.
just Don't.

**********   *

A relationship is only meant for two,
but some bitches don't know how to count.

**********   *

If you Cheat on girl
that's willing to do anyhing for you,
You actually cheated yourself
Out of true loyalty.

**********   *

Cheating and lying aren't struggles,
they're reasons to break up.



Cheating on good person is like throwing a Diamond
and picking up a Rock.

**********   *

DON'T Cheat in a relationship.
if you are not happy then just LEAVE.

**********   *

Treat me like a Queen
and I'll Treat you like a King,
Treat me like a game
and I'll show you How It's Played

**********   *

Cheating is not an accident...
Falling off a bike is an accident..
You don't trip into a vagina.

**********   *

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it,
and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust

**********   *

At some point, you've got to just jump.
you've got to quit being scared of "maybes" and what-ifs".
Quit cheating yourself out of the best thing
that could happen to you.

If you have you own quotes or sayings about cheating, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).




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Tagalog Halloween Funny Jokes and Quotes

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Here are funny and spooky Tagalog Halloween Funny Jokes and Quotes, made just for this halloween and for you to share with. If you have your own favorite Tagalog Halloween Funny Jokes and Quotes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: halloween jokes, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Anak: Tay, totoo po bang may multo?
Tatay: Anak walang multo! Bakit mo naitanong?
Anak: Sabi kasi ni yaya merong multo!
Tatay: Anak…T@ng!n@ naman, wala tayong yaya!

**********

Junjun: Pa, may multo daw sa kusina natin?
Papa: Anak, sino naman nagsabi sa iyo niyan?
Junjun: Si Mama po!
Papa: Ay nako, wag ka nga magpapaniwala dun! wala namang multo eh! Ang mabuti pa samahan mo na lang ako sa kusina at iinom lang ako ng tubig!!



If someone leaves you, don’t dare cry, smile and be happy. Pero bago mo sya palayain, ipagtapat mo ito sa kanya: isa akong DYOSA, pasalamat ka pinatulan kita! LAMANG LUPA!

**********

Tip for a Long Life: Huwag isusulat ang name mo sa condolence book pag dumadalaw ka sa patay kasi pagkatapos ng libing, merong raffle kung sino ang isusunod!…try nyo kaya!LOL!

**********

Isn’t it nice to be in bed,and someone's with you to watch you, touch your hair down to your back, and whisper to you.. “HANAPIN MO ANG PUMATAY SAKIN!!” haha











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Pinoy Funny Wrong Grammar and Tagalog Sablay na Grammar

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Here's a extensive collection of the best, funny and latest Pinoy Funny Wrong Grammar and Tagalog Sablay na Grammar made just for you to share with.  If you have your own favorite Tagalog Funny Wrong Grammar, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: sablay grammar, and will posted up for you. By the way, this for entertainment only, hope you'll like it!

“Get the most of both worlds.”
“Well well well. Look do we have here!”
“One of these days is not like the other.”
"Can you repeat it once again?"
"Mukhang haggard-looking."
"Do you have more brighter ideas?"
“Let’s give them a big hand of applause.”
“You want to have your cake and bake it too.”
“The more the manyer.”
“So… what’s a beautiful girl like you?….



Check out also this Pinoy English Jokes video on youtube


“It’s a no-win-win situation.”
"Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait"
"What happened after the erection of Mayon Volcano?"
“That’s what I’m talking about it.”
“What are friends are for?”
“Burn the bridge when you get there.”
“What is the world is coming to?”
“You’re barking at the wrong dog.”
“Anulled and void.”
“Mute and academic.”
“Base-to-base casis.”
“My answers have been prayered.”
“The feeling is actual.”
“For all intense and purposes.”
“Are you sure ka na ba?”
“Can’t you just cut me some slacks?”
"Nothing in this world is perfect except the word “change”
“It’s a blessing in the sky.”
“Right there and right then.”
"You!!! You’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!"
"Out of fit ako these days eh…"
“Please me alone!”
‘It’s as brand as new.”
“So far, so good, so far.”
“Time is of the elements.”
“Forget it about it.”
“Give him the benefit of the daw.”
“First and for all.”
"Come, lets join us!"
"Bring down the house down!"
“Now and there.”
“I’m only human nature.”
“The sky’s the langit.”
"I’m the world champion of the World"
"Beneath the Belt"
"Rule of Hand…"
"Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top"

Trivia:
Did you know that Most Filipinos understand, write and speak English, Tagalog and their respective languages. English language is one of the two official languages of the Republic of the Philippines.










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Tagalog Magkumpare Jokes and Pinoy Pare Jokes

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Here's a extensive collection of best, naughtiest, funniest and latest Tagalog Magkumpare Jokes and Pinoy Pare Jokes, made just for you and to share with. This Pare Jokes collection also features funny conversation of famous magkumpare Pedro and Juan. If you have your own favorite Tagalog Pare Jokeswe would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pare jokes, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Pedro: Pre! Ano ang mas mahalaga, pera o asawa?
Juan: Syempre, pera! Kasi, ang pera, habang tumatagal, lumalaki ang interes.   Ang asawa, habang tumatagal, nawawalan ka ng interes, tapos, inuubos pa ang pera mo!XD

**********   *

Juan: Birthday ng asawa ko...
Pedro: Ano regalo mo?
Juan: Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
Pedro: Ano naman sinabi?
Juan: Kahit ano daw, basta may DIAMOND.
Pedro: Ano binigay mo?
Juan: Baraha.XD



Check out this Tagalog Funny Jokes video of Porkchop Duo


Pedro: Alam mo, yung pusa namin, kahit nakalagay sa lamesa at walang takip ang ulam namin, hindi kinakain!
Juan: Maniwala ako?!
Pedro: Totoo!
Juan: Ano ba ang ulam nyo?
Pedro: Asin!XD

**********   *

Juan: pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pedro: nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Juan: swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pedro: pare ako nanalo!XD

**********   *

Pedro: pare amoy tinapay ka ah..
Juan: talaga? hehe anong klaseng tinapay naman?
Pedro: Putok pare!  XD  

**********   *

Juan: Ano ang pinakamainit na bahagi ng katawan ng babae?
Pedro: Singit.
Juan: Bakit?
Pedro: Kita mo, sa sobrang init, nagkaroon ng biyak!

**********   *

Pedro: Pareng Juan, what is your greatest fantasy?
Juan: To be kissed by someone in the rain, Pare how about you?
Pedro: to be that someone kissing you in the rain. Love you Pare!

**********   *

Juan: Pare! Ang ganda ng dream ko kagabi! Dinidilaan ko ang pagitan ng boobs ni Angel Locsin!
Pedro: Hayop ka, pare! Kaya pala basa ang puwet ko paggising ko! XD

**********   *

Juan: mga pare! yung asawa ko, favorite movie niya yung "Lord of the Rings the TWO towers" at sakto, kambal ang anak namin..!
Berto: wala ka sa asawa ko! favorite nya yung "the THREE musketeers" at
sakto, triplets ang anak namin..!!

nagtatawanan ang dalawa nang mapansin nila si Pedro..

Juan: Pedro! bakit parang balisa ka? Di ba manganganak na din ang misis mo?
Pedro: eh meron kasing favorite movie yung misis ko, kinakabahan ako...
Berto: anong movie ba yun?
Pedro: 300..!!XD

**********   *

Pedro: "pare, malungkot ka ata?"
Juan: "marami akong problema 'pre.."
Pedro: "wala yun 'pre. tumingin ka sa akin..."
Juan: "pare naman, please lang. wag mo nang dagdagan pa!"XD

**********   *

Juan: Uwi na ako at gustong gusto ko na hubarin ang panty ng misis ko!!!
Pedro: Bakit, hot na hot ka na pare?
Juan: Hindi!!!! Masiyadong masikip sa akin eh!XD










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Pinoy Pambasted na Banat and Mga Banat na Pang Basted

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Is there someone courting you but you don't have feelings on him? and you're thinking on how to say it? well, here's a collection of the best, funniest and latest Pinoy Pambasted na Banat and Mga Banat na Pangbasted made just for you and to share with and even post it in your facebook or twitter status.  If you have your own favorite Tagalog Pambasted na Banat, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pinoy basted, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Pambasted para sa mga makukilit manligaw:
"How many times do i have to flush before you go away?"

**********   *

I'm funny. you're funny looking.
so, we have something in common.
but i still don't like you. so go awaaaay!!!



Check out this Pinoy Jokes video  that feautures Basted is Tandang


A Girl brought over his new boyfriend for the girl barkada to meet..after several hours, the guy excused himself.

Girl: so guys, how is he? feedback!
Barkada: he's ok. pero friend, KM sya.
We all agreed.
KM translation: KUTIS MAHIRAP

**********   *

Boy: Hi. kilala kita db classmates tayo nung high school?
Girl: SO, GALING KA RIN PALA SA ALL GIRLS SCHOOL!!!!

**********   *

Oh bakit buhay ka pa? kala ko ba pag di ko sinagot calls mo papakamatay ka na? bkit di ka pa rin patay?

**********   *

When a Boy approached the Girl with a smile....
Boy: Hi miss...can i...
Girl: sorry....nagbigay na ako ng donation sa mga kasamahan mo...

**********   *

Pambasted banat sa kaibigang naliligaw:
"You're such a good friend why ruin our friendship"

**********   *

Pambasted na banat ng mga babae sa manliligaw...
"Hindi tayo bagay kasi ako dyosa ikaw halimaw."

**********   *

Boy Banat: pwede ba kitang maging kaibigan?
Girl Banat: i don't want you to be my friend
Boy Banat: bakit naman
Girl Banat: sorry...you don't meet my standards eh










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Pinoy Comedy Banat and Komeding Banat Jokes

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Here's a extensive collection of best, funniest and latest Pinoy Comedy Jokes and Komeding Banat Jokes, made just for you and to share with.  If you have your own favorite Komeding Banat Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: comedy banat, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!

Kapag tumulo ang sipon sa harap ng crush mo..
ito sabihin niyo...
kita mo na? pati sipon ko nahuhulog na sayo...
gusto mo inumin ko toh para sayo?...Nyahahaha

**********   *

Tanda: Pwede ho bang manawagan?
Host: Ilang taon na po kayo?
Tanda: 98 na po ako.
Host: Wow! Ang tanda nyo na pala! O sige po, manawagan na kayo.
Tanda: Dad, umuwi na kayo! Hindi na nagagalit si Lolo sa inyo



Check out this Tagalog Funny Jokes video on youtube


Boy: miss taga saan ka:
Girl: bakit:
boy: gusto ko lang malaman kung saan ka nakatira,ibig kitang haranahin mamayang gabi...
Girl: naku hindi na uso yun....
Boy: ano na uso ngayun:
Girl: halika hatid mo ako sa sogo..

**********   *

GIRL: Hubarin mo na bra ko...
BOY: O, ayan...
GIRL: Hubarin mo na panty ko...
BOY: O, ayan, hinubad na...
GIRL: Sige, next time, 'wag mo na isusuot mga gamit ko ha!

**********   *

Umuwi ng bahay si Boy Banat…
Boy Banat: Nanay! Pinapatawag ka sa Principal’s Office!
Nanay: Bakit?! May ginawa ka na namang katarantaduhan?!
Boy Banat: Ako ba?! Baka ikaw?! Ikaw ang ipinapatawag, di ba?! isip isip naman dyan.gee!

**********   *

Boy: pag mag asawa na tayo di kana maglalaba.
Girl: weh? talaga? bakit naman?
Boy: kasi araw araw na tayong nakahubad.

**********   *

Si Pedro bumili ako ng cond0m sa mini stop.
Cashier(girl): Sir, ipaplastik ko pa po ba?
Pedro: Hindi na, susuotin ko na e.

**********   *

Ayoko nang madidi-dikit sa pintuan...
sawang-sawa na akong tawaging boy next door.

**********   *

Boy: alam mo, para kang albatros deodorizer.
Girl: bakit naman?
Boy: kasi binigyan mu ng halimuyak ang mala-inodoro kong buhay..

**********   *

Pedro: Nakabili na ko ng hearing aid. Grabe! ang linaw na ng pandinig ko!
Juan: Talaga?! Magkano bili mo?
Pedro: Kahapon lang

**********   *

Banat ng nanay sa anak
Aanuhin mo pa ang alak kung sa akin pa lang tatamaan ka na!!!

**********   *

Girl: Hatid mo ko.
Boy: Ayoko. Wala ako pera ngayon.
Girl: Ayaw mo?! Bahala ka! Wala pa naman tao sa bahay ngayon.
Boy: Aba! Tingnan mo nga naman. May naipit pa pala akong bente sa wallet.

**********   *

There are 70 ways to make me happy first is to LOVE ME!
then the rest is 69










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Tagalog Funny Break-Up Lines and Pinoy Funny Breakup Banat

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Looking for funny tagalog effective way of breaking up? Nice to drop by as we give you the best and effective Tagalog Funny Break-Up Lines and Pinoy Funny Breakup Banat for you to share with. If you have your own favorite Tagalog Funny Break-Up Lines, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: breakup banat, and will posted up for you. For entertainment purpose only and hope you'll like it!

Break na tayo! kasi...
Hindi ka mayaman,
Hindi ka gwapo at hindi ka matalino...
(brutal! Nyahaha!)

**********   *

Girl: sawang sawa na ako sayo..you're always like that.
pagod na ako..itigil na natin ito
Boy: hindi ka na makakapaghanap ng tulad ko tandaan mo yan.
Girl: shut up! you think maghahanap pa ako ng tulad mo!



You can also check out this Pinoy Break Up video


Boy: I want to focus on my studies
after 2 days my girlfriend na pala ang Bugok,
classmate pa niya, focus nga!

**********   *

(Boy to his GF)
Boy: "Ayoko ko na sa 'yo"
Girl: "What?"
Boy: "Type ko ang kuya mo."

**********   *

Girl: "May ipagtatapat ako sa 'yo...
(nagboses lalaki) Bro, di na tayo talo."

**********   *

You better dump me before I lop your d1ck off
and feed it to my pet piranha!

**********   *

Boy breaking up to a girl...
Boy:  "I'm Gay.."

**********   *

Break na tayo! kasi...
"May AIDS ako...XD

**********   *

Break na tayo! kasi...
aahm.. it's not you.. it's your face..XD

**********   *

Tapusin na natin to.di tayo sexually compatible
di mo masabayan ang libog ko...nyahaha!XD











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Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes

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Here's a extensive collection of the best, funny, naughty and latest Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes made just for you and to share with. If you have your own favorite Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: lasing jokes, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!



Nung tinanong ako ng magulang ko,
“Anong napapala mo sa kaka-inom?”
Tinanong ko rin sila,
“Anong napapala ninyo sa kaka-sermon?” XD

*********   *

Nahuli ni misis si mister na lasing sa club,
kaya nagpanggap siyang GRO. Mrs:”Pogi, gusto mo ko i-table?”
Mr: “Ayoko sa yo, kamukha mo asawa ko!”

*********   *

“Biruin na ang lasing, kahit pa ang bagong gising,
wag lang ang bading na inagawan ng booking.”

*********   *

While drinking with the boss, she challenged,
“Ang ayaw na uminom, bading!” Wanting to go home already,
I told her, “Babu na girl, Suko na akesh!”

*********   *

You know why alcohol is better than milk?
Pangit kasi pakinggan yung, “Tara ‘tol, dede tayo!”XD

*********   *

A girl in a bar was offered margaritas, got drunk & was gang-raped.
The next day, not remembering what happened the previous night,
she came back to the same club & was again offered the same drinks.
She said, “Ayoko na ng margarita, masakit sa puk*!”

*********   *

During a drink fest in Tagaytay, my cousin was so drunk that she chased my gay friend shouting, “Halika dito, gagawin kitang lalake!” XD

*********   *

Text exchange between 2 friends:
Ben, the hunk, and Alvin, the gay who was drunk.
Ben: Matagal ko nang tinatago ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo.
Mahal na mahal kita.
Alvin: “Oh my gosh, akala mo ba ikaw lang?
Mahal na mahal din kita, Ben!” (long pause)
Ben: “Pare, wrong send ako.”

*********   *

Two drunks peeing in public toilet, one straight, one gay. Gay was watching straight guy as he peed. Straight: “Pag di ka tumigil, hahampasin kita nito!” Gay: “Promise?” 


Isang girl may nakitang umiihing lasing sa daan.
Girl: “Ano ba yan! Ang daming bulb*l pero ang liit ng t*ti!”
Lasing: “Anong gusto mo, maraming tit* pero maliit ang bulb*l?”

*********   *

Lasing 1: “Pare totoo bang babaeng lamok lang ang nangangagat?”
Lasing 2: “Tanga, pati aso nangangagat!”

*********   *

Lasing 1: Ano nga pala spelling ng orange?
Lasing 2: Alin, yung kulay o yung prutas?

*********   *

Namatay yung kapitbahay namin na drug dealer.
Sa 1st night ng bur0l, may mga dumating na addict na mga lasing.
Biglang lumapit yung isa, sabay yumakap sa kabaong
sabay sigaw ng, “Drug lord, bakit mo kami iniwannn!!!”

*********   *

During an all-girl inuman, one friend complained that only ugly men are courting her. Another friend assured her, “Ganun talaga, kasi yung mga guwapo, sila-sila ang nagliligawan!” 



If you have you own hilarious Tagalog Inuman Jokes and Pinoy Lasing Jokes, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings

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Love is not always drama and romance, Love can be Fun too! Here's a collection of best, funny and latest Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings made just for you and to share in your facebook or twitter accounts.  If you have your own favorite  Quotes about Funny Love Tagalog, we would love to hear it, simply add a comment below or just email it to us with a subject: pinoy funny love, and will posted up for you. Hope you'll like it!



Kung wala kang maisip na iregalo sa taong mahal mo
Halikan mo na lang. ?tapos sabihin mo ..
“Kung ayaw mo, ibalik mo na lang.’
Ang pagmamahal ko sa mga EX ko ay parang ulam
namin kanina….UBOS NA!!

*       *       *        *        *

If I get takot, would you hawak me tight?
If I gawa something mali, would you make it right?
If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame?
If I sabi I miss you, would you ramdam the same?

*       *       *        *        *

“Kung araw-araw ko ba namang makikita pag mumukha mo…
Eh di sana…Wala ng malungkot na araw ang dadaan sa buhay ko.”

*       *       *        *        *

Naranasan mo na ba makipag-inuman sa mahal mo?
Yung tipong nalalasing ka na tapos napayakap ka sa kanya
At bumulong sya sa yo..”mahal kita…” nagulat k at nagtanong .. “ano?”sumigaw
sya .. “tagay mo na!”



Ang PAG-IBIG ay parang utot. Kahit anong gawin ay napakahirap itago
At pag-ibinuga mo ang kimkim na damdamin, maaamoy ng lahat
kahit hind ka man umamin! hehehe

*       *       *        *        *

Sana naging damit na lang ako…
Para kahit minsan..
i-try mo kung bagay ako sayo

*       *       *        *        *

Chocolate sana yung bibilhin ko,
Kaso, naisip kita, nagpaload nalang ako..
alam mo kung bakit? chocolate lang naman yun eh
MAS SWEET ka pa dun !

*       *       *        *        *

Kung ayaw mong mainlove ng todo
Ay huwag mo ng susubukang tingnan pa ako,
dahil baka mabaliw ka ng husto!!

*       *       *        *        *

“Yoyo ka ba?
Kasi kahit anong gawin kong pagtapon sayo,
Bumabalik ka parin sa puso ko”

*       *       *        *        *

Dahan-dahan ka sa pagpili
ng MAMAHALIN mo ..
Baka kasi MALAGPASAN mo ako!


If you have you own list of quotes and hugot lines from Tagalog Funny Love Quotes and Pinoy Funny Love Sayings, feel free to share it with us and we will be very glad to have it posted here. For latest quotes, jokes and banat lines, just visit us again at www.boybanat.com or at our Boy Banat Official Facebook (www.fb.com/akosiboybanat).

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